humor
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Taking Stock
We’re All NASDAQ Symbols Now
Perhaps bigamists have it the worst: “You must refrain from changing your relationship status to “It’s Complicated,” regardless of how true it may seem. To...
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The Non-Expert
Holidays-in-Law
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week, tips for a productive working vacation with your extended family.
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Spoofs & Satire
What’s On?
With more than 70 TV show premieres this fall, who has time to watch them all? Or even know what any of them are about? With no prior knowledge of the shows’ premises, here are some guesses.
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Letters From Austin
Inferno
As Texas burns, prayers are answered in the form of a feathered-haired governor. It’s a good thing he already knows how to beat down the devil.
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Spoofs & Satire
Calypso Now
With the U.S. military engaged in multiple battles around the world, it’s time to revisit that haunting classic of war and steel-drum cinema, Apocalypso Now.
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The Non-Expert
Man-barrass Your Way to Love
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week, we show you how a well-chosen nickname can bend your mate’s will.
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Personal Essays
The Crap in My Head
Little things people say can get stuck in your brain and become triggers, forcing you to relive moments you’d rather forget. Well, for aspiring linguists, it’s much, much worse.
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Spoofs & Satire
Define the Ratio of People to Cake
After the world’s oddest job-interview questions, from companies like Citigroup and Facebook, were revealed, our writer decided to take all of them to prove he’s hirable anywhere.
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The Non-Expert
What the Fuck Cricket Is
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week, we solve one of Earth’s trickiest mysteries involving bats, balls, and scuttlewicks.
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Spoofs & Satire
Incentivize Your Exciting New Death
You’ve died and gone to heaven. Well, unemployment is bad there, too. Sensitivity training, immigration snags, and the smell of bishops in paradise.
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The Meta Scene
An Open Letter to Writers of Open Letters
To those who feel compelled to address the world from Facebook, Twitter, and email chains, here is a message: No one is listening, least of all Luther Vandross.
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Spoofs & Satire
Everyone Must Go
You’ve seen the billboards and the banner ads: Judgment Day is coming on May 21. But just because you’re saved doesn’t mean you’re home-free. Brimstone Barney’s Apocalypse Surplus has just the deal for you.