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Death Means No Reversible Error

Whenever lethal injection drugs are unavailable, Utah will allow death-row prisoners to choose death by firing squad, citing it as the most “humane” option.

A BILL FOR AN ACT

Concerning Plush Dolls, a Bouncy House, and Other Alternative Death Penalty Techniques

Bill Summary

This bill provides that if the substances used to administer the death penalty are inevitably discontinued by pharmaceutical companies worried about the optics of their role in facilitating a wildly unpopular and outmoded practice that will negatively impact investor relations become unavailable, the method of execution for the defendant shall be a firing squad.

It is hereby agreed upon by the deciding parties involved that death by firing squad is the preferred method of execution for two reasons: (1) that it has been used as far back in the United States and its earlier colonies as 1608 and as recently in this great state of Utah as 1977 1996 2010 and (2) that of all the options outlined below, it risked the least amount of legislative pushback is the most humane.

Be It Enacted by the Senate and General Assembly of the State of Utah:

Section 1. Why We’re Bringing the Guns Back:

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Mar 27
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