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Headlines from January 18, 2013

Al Qaeda is alive and fairly well in Africa, but the U.S. must pick its battles in pursuit. #opinions
The Onion is publishing a Biden biography—The President of Vice—whether he wants one or not.
Stories longer than 2,000 words are down 86% at the LAT since 2003, 50% at WaPo, 35% at WSJ.
In tribute to 56 up, four of TMN’s best stories about growing up, both physically and emotionally.
Related: TMN seeks a Spring 2013 intern.
Schopenhauer offers little to no practical advice when your fate’s being decided at an immigration desk. #tmn
Color perception research suggests Homer’s “wine-dark sea” may have not been a metaphor, but a literal reflection of what he saw.
Surviving “secret listener” explains how German POWs were lulled into divulging secrets of the Nazi war effort.
Taking the odd bit of mandy on a night out doesn’t make you the rap game Timothy Leary. Rave culture explained to Americans who may not know how to enjoy it.
Amy Poehler offers advice to girls via YouTube. via #video
January is certifiably the worst movie-release month of the year, and the very worst month for movies was January 1989.
Literary tribute to Raphael Nadal’s tennis racquet as replacement to sticks of old.
Rather than redesign the cartridge, Fisher redesigned the ink. History of the Fisher space pen.
Even if Tom Brady again looks devastating in a beanie, here’s everything you need to know so you can skip this weekend’s NFL Conference Championships. #tmn
See also: NFL Championship picks written as villanelles.
Poll finds wide support, even among gun owners, for several of Obama’s specific gun-control measures.
Inventory of the clothes and equipment you throw on before going out to kill Osama bin Laden.
Round-up, with fact-checking, of Armstrong’s confessions, plus online reactions from the cycling community.
He didn’t wallow in regret; instead there was an electric hostility toward remorse. There was also, as always with Lance, a passion for himself.
Longform guide to Internet hoaxes. #longreads
Swiss artists send Julian Assange a self-photographing package. #photography
Donald Trump compliments Deadspin for its reporting on the Manti Te’o story; Deadspin responds. via
White House officially replies to petition to secure resources and funding, and destroy the Matrix by 2019. #tmn
Various product placements—shoes, cheese, bubbly—to be used at Obama’s presidential inauguration.
Souvenir program from McKinley’s 1901 inauguration.
Comedian who recently came out says gay and straight relationships are the exact same—judging by laughs he’d get when he switched pronouns.
Acid attack on director of the Bolshoi Ballet attributed to infighting among dancers.
Tips from a data analyst who posed as 10 different male archetypes on Jdate in order to study women—and then found the perfect husband of her own.
Travel diary of a long-distance skateboarder kicking his way through outer Tibet.
Interactive timeline covers legacy left by the Eames epoch.
Vote in the 2013 Tournament of Books Zombie Poll to help your favorite title do better.
Very good collection, with many liner notes, of the best classical releases from last year.