Spoofs & Satire
Googling for Trouble
The search company has asked that people tread lightly when verbing its name—but can it turn away history’s momentum? ERIC FEEZELL googles some answers.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
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“Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be googling it.”
—Henry David Thoreau
“Man googleth in society comfort, use, and protection.”
—Sir Francis Bacon
“The only people who find what they are googling in life are the fault finders.”
—Foster’s Law
“I am googling a lot of men who have an infinite capacity to not know what can’t be done.”
—Henry Ford
“Politics is the art of googling trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.”
—Ernest Benn
“Googalin’ nub in all da wrong pwaces…”
—Eddie Murphy as Buckwheat
“To google backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it the more fit for its prime function of googling forward.”
—Margaret Fairless Barber
“I’ve always followed my father’s advice: He told me, first to always keep my word and, second, to never insult anybody unintentionally. If I insult you, you can be goddamn sure I intend to. And, third, he told me not to go around googling trouble.”
—John Wayne
“Women who google to be equal with men lack ambition.”
—Timothy Leary
“What the superior man googles is in himself. What the mean man googles is in others.”
—Confucius
“Before beginning a hunt, it is wise to ask someone what you are googling before you begin googling it.”
—Winnie the Pooh
“I still haven’t found what I’m googling.”
—Bono
“Ask, and it shall be given you; google, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.”
—Matthew 7:7
“When one is trying to do something beyond his known powers it is useless to google the approval of friends. Friends are at their best in moments of defeat.”
—Henry Miller
“It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been googling evidence which could support this.”
—Bertrand Russell
“Google not to follow in the footsteps of men of old; google what they googled.”
—Matsuo Basho
“You’ve got to google yourself one question: ‘Am I feeling lucky?’ Well, are ya, punk?”
—Dirty Harry
—Henry David Thoreau
“Man googleth in society comfort, use, and protection.”
—Sir Francis Bacon
“The only people who find what they are googling in life are the fault finders.”
—Foster’s Law
“I am googling a lot of men who have an infinite capacity to not know what can’t be done.”
—Henry Ford
“Politics is the art of googling trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.”
—Ernest Benn
“Googalin’ nub in all da wrong pwaces…”
—Eddie Murphy as Buckwheat
“To google backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it the more fit for its prime function of googling forward.”
—Margaret Fairless Barber
“I’ve always followed my father’s advice: He told me, first to always keep my word and, second, to never insult anybody unintentionally. If I insult you, you can be goddamn sure I intend to. And, third, he told me not to go around googling trouble.”
—John Wayne
“Women who google to be equal with men lack ambition.”
—Timothy Leary
“What the superior man googles is in himself. What the mean man googles is in others.”
—Confucius
“Before beginning a hunt, it is wise to ask someone what you are googling before you begin googling it.”
—Winnie the Pooh
“I still haven’t found what I’m googling.”
—Bono
“Ask, and it shall be given you; google, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.”
—Matthew 7:7
“When one is trying to do something beyond his known powers it is useless to google the approval of friends. Friends are at their best in moments of defeat.”
—Henry Miller
“It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been googling evidence which could support this.”
—Bertrand Russell
“Google not to follow in the footsteps of men of old; google what they googled.”
—Matsuo Basho
“You’ve got to google yourself one question: ‘Am I feeling lucky?’ Well, are ya, punk?”
—Dirty Harry
—Published October 30, 2006
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