Reviews
Six-Word Reviews of 763 SXSW Mp3s
The South by Southwest music festival begins in Austin, Texas, today. Of the hundreds of acts hoping to break big, 763 have offered an mp3 of their still-unknown sound. PAUL FORD listened to them all, all the way through.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
- How to Say I Love You (The Non-Expert)
- Fall Fashion (Of Recent Note)
- Lawyering (The Non-Expert)
Also by Paul Ford
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- The Top 10 Albums of 2006 (December 20, 2006)
- This Modern Love (October 25, 2006)
- L.A. Figments (May 22, 2006)
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I recently downloaded the SXSW 2008 torrent file, which contains nearly 48 continuous hours of music from 763 acts appearing this week at the South by Southwest festival in Austin, Texas (these bands elected to give away MP3s; they represent less than half of the total number of acts). I found myself wondering how to locate the songs worth hearing, and imagined that others were having the same problem.
Thus, the 763 reviews you’ll find below. For brevity, I kept each to exactly six words. Clicking on a band’s name takes you to its web site; clicking on the ▶ button takes you to the SXSW page for the band where you can listen to or download the song.
I realize that I have potentially hurt the feelings of nearly 3,000 musicians, for which I apologize. By no means should you ever stop writing and recording music.
Thus, the 763 reviews you’ll find below. For brevity, I kept each to exactly six words. Clicking on a band’s name takes you to its web site; clicking on the ▶ button takes you to the SXSW page for the band where you can listen to or download the song.
I realize that I have potentially hurt the feelings of nearly 3,000 musicians, for which I apologize. By no means should you ever stop writing and recording music.
| No. | Time | Artist | Song | Review | Rating | ► |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 4:18 | A.A. Bondy Alt Country · NY |
American Hearts | Noble American hates war, loves guitar. | ●● | ► |
| 2 | 3:57 | A.J. Croce Singer-Songwriter · CA |
One And Only | Rhyming’s a tool, not a weapon. | ● | ► |
| 3 | 3:10 | Aberfeldy Pop · UK |
Come On, Claire | Theme for a grunge-era sitcom. | ●● | ► |
| 4 | 3:50 | Abigail Warchild Rock · NY |
Trash Can Fire | Mercury Lounge loves bands like this. | ●● | ► |
| 5 | 5:21 | Abra Moore Singer-Songwriter · TX |
Sorry | Soft pink vagina frosted jazz cupcakes. | ●● | ► |
| 6 | 2:45 | Activator Metal · NY |
shackle | METAPHORIC BROKEN HEARTZ ARE FUCKING HARDCORE. | ●●● | ► |
| 7 | 3:21 | Adam Kesher Rock · FRANCE |
P-Katherine | Thin white men, tight black pants? | ●● | ► |
| 8 | 4:08 | Air Traffic Rock · UK |
Shooting Star | Turn away, Coldplay’s raping Maroon 5. | ●● | ► |
| 9 | 3:59 | The Airborne Toxic Event Rock · CA |
Wishing Well - Final Mastered | Shit, Franz Ferdinand, you ruined everything. | ● | ► |
| 10 | 3:38 | Akala Hip Hop/Rap · UK |
electro livin (album version) | Brithop grime bigger than the garage. | ●●●●● | ► |
| 11 | 3:47 | Akron/Family Experimental · NY |
Phenomena | Not bad from 2:28 to 3:16. | ●●● | ► |
| 12 | 4:09 | Alabama3 Alt Country · UK |
Woke Up This Morning | So. You wrote the Sopranos theme. | ●●●● | ► |
| 13 | 3:45 | Album Alt. · MEXICO |
Stab You | How would I Google this band? | ●●●● | ► |
| 14 | 2:58 | Alex Cuba World · BC |
Tu Boca Lo Quita | Pretty-enough Cuban song, I guess. | ●● | ► |
| 15 | 3:05 | Alex Khoury Singer-Songwriter · TN |
Life in Brookfield | This guitarist has too many feelings. | ●● | ► |
| 16 | 5:24 | Alex Skolnick Trio Jazz · NY |
Western Sabbath Stomp | Slide guitar is too often abused. | ● | ► |
| 17 | 3:29 | Alina Simone Pop · NC |
Half My Kingdon | Promising Elephant Six-style Russian Folk. | ●●●●● | ► |
| 18 | 3:48 | AM Singer-Songwriter · LA |
Old Song | Someone’s been eating Hall and Oatesmeal. | ●● | ► |
| 19 | 4:20 | American Princes Rock · AR |
Real Love | Band name: Killer Stroke Monkey Chiefs. | ● | ► |
| 20 | 4:01 | Amy Cook Alt Country · TX |
Coming Home (The Eclipse) | You can love Neko Case too much. | ● | ► |
| 21 | 2:55 | Anamanaguchi Electronic · NY |
Power Supply | Music for your Donkey Kong lifestyle. | ● | ► |
| 22 | 2:07 | Anavan Avant-garde · CA |
TimeKiller | Barely 741 songs to go now. | ● | ► |
| 23 | 7:22 | aonami Electronic · JAPAN |
MISODISKO | 8-bit gunk; ten good seconds. | ● | ► |
| 24 | 3:07 | Apache Beat Rock · NY |
Apache Beat - Your Powers Are Magic | Baffled; can’t tell the singer’s gender. | ●● | ► |
CIRCLE DISTRIBUTION
1852 circles were assigned with an average rating of 2.42 circles. |
||||||
| No. | Time | Artist | Song | Review | Rating | ► |
| 25 | 3:48 | Apes Rock · DC |
Beat of the Double | Son, you’re damaging your vocal cords. | ● | ► |
| 26 | 3:14 | Ari Shine Rock · CA |
Cooler Than Me | Indeed, she’s way cooler than you. | ● | ► |
| 27 | 3:23 | Army Of Freshmen Punk · CA |
Juliet | Theme for cable show about douchebags. | ●●● | ► |
| 28 | 3:16 | Arrah and The Ferns Pop · IN |
Emo Phillips | Girl chirps about snow, suicide, MySpace. | ● | ► |
| 29 | 3:21 | Artifact Shore Experimental · MN |
Fun Is Near | Droning, but Pitchfork’ll give it “6.” | ●● | ► |
| 30 | 2:38 | Ash Grunwald Blues · AUSTRALIA |
Give Signs | “Lime in the Coconut” for 2008. | ● | ► |
| 31 | 3:43 | Astra Heights Rock · CA |
The March | Soundtrack for a safe-robbing movie. | ●●● | ► |
| 32 | 3:26 | At All Cost Metal · TX |
Circle of Demons | Goddam demons, get out my yard! | ● | ► |
| 33 | 3:18 | Attack in Black Rock · ON |
Young Leaves | Remarkably many boring influences at once. | ●● | ► |
| 34 | 3:44 | Audrye Sessions Rock · CA |
Julianna | The bitch is gone. Move on. | ●●● | ► |
| 35 | 2:29 | Avatar Metal · SWEDEN |
Schlacht | Death metal innovation is obviously impossible. | ● | ► |
| 36 | 3:50 | AZA World · CA |
Ushen | Who can hate a Berber gathering? | ●●●● | ► |
| 37 | 4:15 | Back Door Slam Blues · UK |
Come Home | Alas, George Thorogood remains at large. | ● | ► |
| 38 | 4:06 | Back Ted N-Ted Experimental · AZ |
999 Buttons | Crisp little synths; New Order chords. | ●●●●● | ► |
| 39 | 2:19 | The Bad Rackets Punk · TX |
Porno Magazines | Keeps bad company with Bad Company. | ● | ► |
| 40 | 6:35 | The Bad Trips Rock · CA |
First Priority | Trapped in a cave with Ummagumma. | ●●● | ► |
| 41 | 3:37 | Bad Veins Rock · OH |
Gold and Warm | I feel I’ve already heard this. | ● | ► |
| 42 | 3:12 | Bam Bam Rock · MEXICO |
Hi-Q | “Whoa ohhhh! Whoa!” Please shut it. | ● | ► |
| 43 | 3:51 | The Band of Heathens Americana · TX |
Jackson Station | Blues for cramming for your finals. | ● | ► |
| 44 | 3:06 | Barbara Mason R&B · PA |
Yes I’m Ready | Why is this 1960s classic here? | ●●●●● | ► |
| 45 | 3:17 | The Barker Band Country · UK |
No Matter How Bad It Gets | It’s very lonely in that swamp. | ●●● | ► |
| 46 | 3:03 | Basia Bulat Singer-Songwriter · ON |
In the Night | Neutral Milk Hotel with lady vocalist. | ●●●●● | ► |
| 47 | 2:06 | Be Your Own Pet Rock · TN |
Bicycle, Bicycle, You Are My Bicycle | Punky ladies sing goofy bicycle ditty. | ●●● | ► |
| 48 | 4:41 | Beangrowers Rock · MALTA |
Quaint Affarir | Girls with herpes love this song. | ● | ► |
| 49 | 5:52 | Bear in Heaven Rock · NY |
Bag of Bags | That’s how to rob Pink Floyd. | ●●●● | ► |
GHOST BANDSWhite Ghost Shivers · Television Ghost · The Black Ghosts · Ghosthustler · Holy Ghost! |
||||||
| No. | Time | Artist | Song | Review | Rating | ► |
| 50 | 3:54 | Bearsuit Pop · UK |
Steven Fucking Spielberg | Disneyesque noodling spoiled by indie rambling. | ●● | ► |
| 51 | 4:34 | Beasts and Superbeasts Alt. · BC |
If I was a house | Any house this pretentious must burn. | ● | ► |
| 52 | 3:34 | Bedroom Walls Alt. · CA |
No Weddiing Cake | Not a single original idea here. | ● | ► |
| 53 | 3:26 | Bella Pop · BC |
Give It A Night | Perfect for a Trainspotting sequel soundtrack. | ● | ► |
| 54 | 4:02 | Ben’s Brother Pop · UK |
Let Me Out | Music for Lutheran youth-group hayrides. | ● | ► |
| 55 | 4:38 | Bible of the Devil Metal · IL |
Judas Ships | Satan laughs cuz you eternally suck. | ● | ► |
| 56 | 1:59 | The Big Bang Rock · UK |
Give The Man The Money Honey | Quick-moving, well-crafted horror rock. | ●●●● | ► |
| 57 | 3:21 | Big Red Rooster Pop · TX |
How U Like That | Yes—sounds like swollen infected cock. | ● | ► |
| 58 | 4:34 | The Big Sleep Rock · NY |
Pinkies | Big, cool guitar sound, fresh vocals. | ●●●● | ► |
| 59 | 10:00 | The Bildmeister Rock · PORTUGAL |
Tenx | Five seconds of music 120 times. | ● | ► |
| 60 | 4:44 | Bird Peterson DJ · TX |
Twurk Central | Enthusiastic knob twiddling without much effect. | ● | ► |
| 61 | 3:26 | Birds of Wales Pop · ON |
Cinderella (Has Nothing on You) | Corn syrup and carbonated goat jism. | ● | ► |
| 62 | 3:21 | Bitter:Sweet Electronic · CA |
Dirty Laundry | Jazzy trip-hop with singing lady, again. | ●● | ► |
| 63 | 4:35 | The Black & White Years Rock · TX |
Power to Change | Their poor singer has a cold. | ●●● | ► |
| 64 | 5:35 | Black Diamond Heavies Blues · KY |
Fever in My Blood | I’d rather stick with Tom Waits. | ●● | ► |
| 65 | 4:04 | Black Earth Rock · TX |
Black Angel | Trash the 7"s and start again. | ● | ► |
| 66 | 3:38 | The Black Ghosts Electronic · UK |
Any Way You Choose To Give It | Does ProTools do instant MSTRKRFT remixes? | ●● | ► |
| 67 | 4:12 | Black Helicopter Rock · MA |
Buick Electra | Like Guided by Drive By Truckers. | ●●●● | ► |
| 68 | 3:29 | The Black Hollies Rock · NJ |
Paisley Pattern Ground | The garage-rock style WFMU loves. | ●●● | ► |
| 69 | 2:08 | Black Joe Lewis & the Honey Bears R&B · TX |
Gunpowder | I welcome the horns. But otherwise... | ●● | ► |
| 70 | 3:16 | Black Moth Super Rainbow Experimental · PA |
sun lips | Reasonably snazzy psychedelica update with vocoder. | ●●● | ► |
| 71 | 3:48 | Black Mountain Rock · BC |
Druganaut | Okay for bonfires and nowhere else. | ●● | ► |
| 72 | 3:38 | Black Tide Metal · FL |
Shockwave | I remember: fringe jackets, fringe boots. | ●● | ► |
| 73 | 3:42 | Black Tie Dynasty Rock · TX |
Tender | Shamelessly attractive 1980s electropop production. A-ha! | ●●●●● | ► |
| 74 | 3:34 | Black Top Demon Rock · WA |
BlackTopDemon Anthem | The pinnacle of cock-rock horseshit. | ●● | ► |
ANTHEMThis song by Born in the Flood is inexcusable. Consider: (1) It is called “Anthem,” and it is an anthem. (2) It sounds like Bono and the Edge riding around on Sparklehorses. (3) I can’t understand the lyrics but there’s a crown mentioned. It was heretofore considered impossible for any singer to overcome these cognitive challenges in order to create a distinct and memorable song. And yet this man does exactly that. Or to put it another way: When you were 23 and living alone without many friends and definitely no girlfriends, did you ever jerk off and cry at the same time? This is your song. |
||||||
| No. | Time | Artist | Song | Review | Rating | ► |
| 75 | 3:42 | Blacklist Rock · NY |
Blue Shifted | 1980s moaning mixed inside a dumpster. | ● | ► |
| 76 | 2:38 | Blaggards Celtic · TX |
Drunken Sailor | You guys do punk-rock weddings? | ●●● | ► |
| 77 | 4:58 | The Blood Lines Pop · SK |
Modern Science | Those are not actually lyrics. Right? | ● | ► |
| 78 | 4:40 | Blue Mountain Alt Country · MS |
Blue Canoe | What’s the present tense of “Blue”? | ● | ► |
| 79 | 3:48 | Blue Rodeo & Friends Rock · ON |
This Town | You’ll pay for this, Steve Perry. | ● | ► |
| 80 | 4:29 | Blue Scholars Hip Hop/Rap · WA |
North By Northwest | Good sampling, okay emcee. Weird mix. | ●●●● | ► |
| 81 | 6:09 | Blues Control Experimental · NY |
Always On Time (excerpt) | This 6:09 excerpt—more than enough. | ● | ► |
| 82 | 2:44 | Blunt Force Trauma Metal · TX |
Uncommon Heroes | Dear Moloch, no more hardcore bands. | ●● | ► |
| 83 | 2:32 | Bo Pepper Pop · UK |
Blinkand- you’llmiss- it! | Unexpectedly tapping my foot, so. Okay. | ●●●● | ► |
| 84 | 3:49 | Bob Lind Singer-Songwriter · FL |
Wearing You | We will hug now, Elusive Butterfly. | ●● | ► |
| 85 | 3:18 | Bobby Bare Jr. Rock · TN |
The Heart Bionic | Refreshingly dumb with some great sax. | ●●●● | ► |
| 86 | 3:58 | The BoDeans Rock · WI |
Everyday | Good song from some old pros. | ●●●●● | ► |
| 87 | 5:41 | Bodies of Water Rock · CA |
I Guess I’ll Forget the Sound, I Guess, I Guess | Goofy chanting but grew on me. | ●●●●● | ► |
| 88 | 4:19 | The Bo-Keys R&B · TN |
The Back End | This porn soundtrack badly needs visuals. | ●● | ► |
| 89 | 3:22 | Born in the Flood Rock · CO |
Anthem | Wait, is today Sunday? Bloody Sunday? | ●●●●● | ► |
| 90 | 4:24 | Boubacar Diebate World · SENEGAL |
Badima | Afropop with warm vocals, bright guitars. | ●●● | ► |
| 91 | 3:54 | Bowerbirds Rock · NC |
In Our Talons | Brisk choral/accordion Raleigh nufolk dirge. | ●●●● | ► |
| 92 | 3:40 | Brazos Rock · TX |
Mary Jo | Nice lite-rock arrangement, relaxed vocals. | ●●●● | ► |
| 93 | 3:48 | The Breakup Society Rock · AZ |
13th Angry Man | You know what? Enough organ already. | ●● | ► |
| 94 | 3:50 | Brendan James Singer-Songwriter · NY |
Green | Fills a Billy-Joel shaped chasm. | ●●● | ► |
| 95 | 4:08 | British Sea Power Rock · UK |
Waving Flags | Quite catchy. But likely precious live. | ●●●● | ► |
| 96 | 4:18 | Brooke Waggoner Singer-Songwriter · TN |
Hush If You Must | Big piano pop sound, with strings. | ●●●●● | ► |
| 97 | 2:54 | Brooklyn Rock · FRANCE |
CLANDESTINE | Do not name your band “Brooklyn.” | ● | ► |
| 98 | 4:01 | The Brother Kite Rock · RI |
Get On, Me | Here’s a Bloody Valentine, for you. | ●●● | ► |
| 99 | 4:03 | Bryan Scary & The Shredding Tears Psychedelic/Pop · NY |
Imitation of the Sky | Enjoy this unabashedly cheesy prog foolishness. | ●●●● | ► |
FISH BANDSCatfish Haven · Fishboy · Lou Lou and the Guitarfish · Rupa and the April Fishes |
||||||
| No. | Time | Artist | Song | Review | Rating | ► |
| 100 | 3:09 | Bud Melvin Experimental · NM |
62 Miles | Tortuous lover’s lament with Gameboy, banjo. | ● | ► |
| 101 | 5:04 | The Builders and The Butchers Alt Country · OR |
Bottom of the Lake | Unsurprising yet cool gothic rock arrangement. | ●●●● | ► |
| 102 | 4:01 | Buttercup Rock · TX |
In Love | A warm, soft cup of butt! | ●●● | ► |
| 103 | 4:31 | c rayz walz + kosha dillz Hip Hop/Rap · NJ |
childhood ft. Matisyahu +Kosha Dillz | Fun party until Matisyahu shows up. | ●●●● | ► |
| 104 | 4:14 | The Cab Rock · NV |
I’ll Run | Rhymes tears/fears. End the show. | ● | ► |
| 105 | 3:28 | Caleb Engstrom Singer-Songwriter · IA |
The Happiest | Cowboys moping along—call it “bootgazer.” | ● | ► |
| 106 | 3:19 | Call Me Lightning Punk · WI |
Billion Eyes | Way they sing “denied” is cool. | ●● | ► |
| 107 | 3:59 | CAMP LO Hip Hop/Rap · NY |
Luchini | Rap with solid samples, baffling lyrics. | ●●●● | ► |
| 108 | 2:40 | Camp X-Ray Punk · TX |
Quicksand | In this band I’d scream too. | ● | ► |
| 109 | 4:33 | Canada Rock · MI |
Beige Stationwagon | Pretty enough, but they’re called “Canada.” | ●●● | ► |
| 110 | 4:10 | Canadians Alt. · ITALY |
Summer Teenage Girl | Big guitar and cheap vocal harmony. | ● | ► |
| 111 | 4:26 | The Cansecos Electronic · ON |
Raised By Wolves | Good disco. TURN DOWN SYNTH SNARE. | ●●● | ► |
| 112 | 4:33 | Cap D Hip Hop/Rap · IL |
Uncle Sam (feat Slug) | Metaphoric rap about big evil America. | ●●●● | ► |
| 113 | 3:30 | Capgun Coup Rock · NE |
A Liar in Texas in a Green Room in Memphis | A life sentence in indie prison. | ● | ► |
| 114 | 3:17 | Capitol K Electronic · UK |
Drum St Song | Acceptable—if they dress as wizards. | ● | ► |
| 115 | 3:39 | Capsula Rock · ARGENTINA |
Voices Underground | We’re obviously exporting cliches to Argentina. | ● | ► |
| 116 | 4:32 | Captain Ahab Electronic · CA |
I Can’t Wait For Summer | Come, sail away with Weezer’s Nintendo. | ●●● | ► |
| 117 | 1:56 | Career Criminal Punk · TX |
City Life | Confidential to vocalist: get some lozenges. | ● | ► |
| 118 | 2:47 | Carlis Star Rock · UK |
Hereby No One | Chunka, synth, sing. Chunka, synth, sing. | ● | ► |
| 119 | 4:31 | Caroline Herring Singer-Songwriter · GA |
Paper Gown | Bad things happen in small towns. | ●● | ► |
| 120 | 3:57 | Caroline Keating Singer-Songwriter · QC |
Ghosts | Hypermegasupercute lo-fi sleepytime cooing. Missing? Harp. | ● | ► |
| 121 | 4:23 | Carolyn Mark Country · BC |
The 1 That Got Away (With It) | My favorite wafers are Neko wafers. | ● | ► |
| 122 | 3:38 | Cary Brothers Rock · TN |
Who You Are | This guy really loves his girlfriend. | ● | ► |
| 123 | 4:13 | Cassettes Won’t Listen Rock · NY |
Paper Float | If cassettes won’t listen, who will? | ●●● | ► |
| 124 | 2:09 | Cassius Khan World · AB |
bhooli bisri | Persindian jazzery, hello there flute action. | ●●● | ► |
EXPLAINING THE ARBITRARY RATING SYSTEM●●●●● Worthy of five circles. |
||||||
| No. | Time | Artist | Song | Review | Rating | ► |
| 125 | 3:12 | Castanets Experimental · OR |
This Is The Early Game | That guy singing backup? Kill him. | ● | ► |
| 126 | 5:10 | Catherine MacLellan Singer-Songwriter · NS |
church bell blues | She’s tragically imprisoned behind twelve bars. | ● | ► |
| 127 | 3:56 | Ceci Bastida Latin Rock · MEXICO |
Canta El Rio | Tijuana singer. Subtle mix, fine vocals. | ●●●●● | ► |
| 128 | 3:15 | Centro-matic Rock · TX |
Triggers and Trash Heaps | Undistinguished. Although intelligent use of keyboards. | ●● | ► |
| 129 | 2:30 | Channel 3 Punk · CA |
One More For All My True Friends | 13th level of guitar-solo hell. | ● | ► |
| 130 | 3:52 | Charanga Cakewalk World · TX |
Dirty Cumbia | Tex-Mex sound but not spicy. | ●●● | ► |
| 131 | 3:54 | Cherine Anderson Reggae · JAMAICA |
Kingston State of Mind | Weird-ass spiritual dub about Kingston. | ●●●● | ► |
| 132 | 3:26 | The Chevelles Rock · AUSTRALIA |
Get It On | Rawking most effectively twenty years late. | ●●● | ► |
| 133 | 2:38 | Cheveu Rock · FRANCE |
hello friend | Experimentation never excuses sloppiness, dear Parisians. | ●● | ► |
| 134 | 3:34 | Chikita Violenta Rock · MEXICO |
Laydown | Completely undifferentiated indie rock from Mexico. | ● | ► |
| 135 | 2:43 | Child Bite Punk · MI |
Ape Along | A truly great band name wasted. | ● | ► |
| 136 | 3:57 | Chingo Bling Hip Hop/Rap · TX |
Do it | Chingo’s shit here is utterly ridiculous. | ●●●● | ► |
| 137 | 5:33 | Chiwoniso World · ZIMBABWE |
Kurima | I’m a sucker for thumb-piano. | ●●●● | ► |
| 138 | 4:02 | The Chocolate Horse Rock · OH |
The Caribbean | Captain Stubing’s favorite jazzy little number. | ●● | ► |
| 139 | 2:08 | The Choir Practice Pop · BC |
Red Fox | College kids in capes’ll love em! | ●● | ► |
| 140 | 4:05 | Choklate Singer-Songwriter · WA |
Waitin Feat. Chali2na of Jurassic 5 | She’s sexy and loves horn hits. | ●●●●● | ► |
| 141 | 4:06 | Chris Bathgate Alt Country · MI |
Serpentine | Piano, vocals, cello, kind of mushy. | ●●● | ► |
| 142 | 2:55 | Chris Mills Rock · NY |
Chris Mills Is Living The Dream | Don’t ever wake up, Chris Mills. | ●●●● | ► |
| 143 | 3:42 | Chris Pickering Singer/Songwriter · AUSTRALIA |
Ruby Ruby | Chorus reminds me of Elliott Smith. | ●● | ► |
| 144 | 1:10 | Chris Vestre Group Jazz · TX |
Brunette Ambition | Jazz that is fully OSHA compliant. | ●● | ► |
| 145 | 1:44 | Christian Kiefer Singer-Songwriter · CA |
Afterglow | Crawls along like a drunken sloth. | ●● | ► |
| 146 | 3:41 | Christopher Rees Singer-Songwriter · UK |
Bottom Dollar | Was there a special on orchestras? | ●● | ► |
| 147 | 3:39 | Chuck Prophet Rock · CA |
Freckle Song | Highly professional. Guitar-driven, and chatty. | ●●● | ► |
| 148 | 6:43 | Citay Rock · CA |
First Fantasy | Open wide for this, NPR listener! | ●● | ► |
| 149 | 3:30 | Clare & The Reasons Rock · NY |
Pluto | Small, puckered red lips blowing smoke. | ●●●● | ► |
MUSICAL GENRES
Based on what I believe to be a complete list of 1,955 bands. Some outliers removed. |
||||||
| No. | Time | Artist | Song | Review | Rating | ► |
| 150 | 3:16 | Cliff Eberhardt Singer-Songwriter · MA |
The Next Big Thing | Grumpy old folkie fusses about society. | ●●● | ► |
| 151 | 3:19 | The Cliks Pop · ON |
Eyes In The Back Of My Head | Extremely disturbing Bryan Adams guitar sound. | ● | ► |
| 152 | 3:40 | Clipd Beaks Experimental · CA |
Melter | Distortion does not hide the truth. | ● | ► |
| 153 | 4:29 | Cloud Cult Rock · MN |
Chain Reaction | Self-indulgent production, some fine moments. | ●●●● | ► |
| 154 | 3:09 | The Clutters Punk · TN |
9999 (Ways to Hate Us) | I just found one more way. | ●●● | ► |
| 155 | 3:32 | C-Mon & Kypski Pop · THE NETHERLANDS |
Bumpy Road | Mix of garage, 60s pop, scratching. | ●●●● | ► |
| 156 | 4:54 | Cobra Krames DJ · NY |
What More Time! | Apparently DJing means hitting “play” hard. | ● | ► |
| 157 | 3:59 | Colin Gilmore Rock · TX |
Black Vines (Master 5/8) | Cup of coffee with fifty sugarcubes. | ●● | ► |
| 158 | 2:55 | COLISEUM Punk · KY |
Fall Of The Pigs | C’mon. “Fall of the pigs?” YHTBFKM. | ● | ► |
| 159 | 11:03 | Collections of Colonies of Bees Rock · WI |
Flocks III | More hypothetical than experimental. Never arrives. | ●●● | ► |
| 160 | 3:49 | Colour Revolt Rock · MS |
Naked and Red | Postrock is getting so damn tiring. | ●●● | ► |
| 161 | 2:12 | Coma in Algiers Punk · TX |
House on Fire | I don’t buy this vocalist’s anxiety. | ●● | ► |
| 162 | 2:27 | The Cops (WA) Rock · WA |
It’s Epidemic | They’re definitely not po-lice, just cops. | ● | ► |
| 163 | 2:38 | Copter Blues · UK |
Evil | Clearly just an excuse to drink. | ●● | ► |
| 164 | 2:05 | Corn Mo and the .357 Lover Rock · NY |
Hava Nagila Monster | All that’s missing is some umlauts. | ●●●●● | ► |
| 165 | 3:38 | Correatown Singer-Songwriter · CA |
Fascination | Nothing particularly new, but pleasingly simple. | ●●● | ► |
| 166 | 4:58 | Cougar Den Rock · WI |
Sirens Off Mute | With big cats, I prefer Panthers. | ● | ► |
| 167 | 4:48 | Creature (CAN) Pop · QC |
Brigitte Bardot | Super pep rally in sexy heaven. | ●●●●● | ► |
| 168 | 3:26 | Cruiserweight Rock · TX |
Balboa | I found it rocky. Zing! Rimshot! | ● | ► |
| 169 | 1:55 | Cryptacize Pop · CA |
Cosmic Sing-a-long | Bone-simple, very vulnerable song writing. | ●●●● | ► |
| 170 | 3:55 | The Cuban Cowboys Latin Rock · CA |
El Capitan | They sound like their band name. | ●●● | ► |
| 171 | 4:56 | Cunnin- Lynguists Hip Hop/Rap · KY |
Yellow Lines featuring Witchdoctor and Phonte | Emcee should work a bit harder. | ●●● | ► |
| 172 | 3:09 | Curumin World · BRAZIL |
Esperanca | “Why yes, ladies. I am Brazilian.” | ●●●●● | ► |
| 173 | 3:01 | The Cynics Rock · PA |
What She Said | Garage fuzzier than an old sweater. | ●●●●● | ► |
| 174 | 4:28 | D Folmer Pop · TX |
Serotonin | Jandek has some serious competition here. | ● | ► |
YELLINGYelled choruses are very common. Singers should always have a reason before they yell; “our song is boring and lacks hooks” is not reason enough. |
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| No. | Time | Artist | Song | Review | Rating | ► |
| 175 | 4:29 | DA C.O.D Hip Hop/Rap · TX |
Like Eww | These rappers revel in material goods. | ● | ► |
| 176 | 4:55 | Dandi Wind Electronic · BC |
Mafu Cage | Sounds like Skinny Diamanda Peaches Puppy. | ●●●●● | ► |
| 177 | 3:08 | Danger Radio Pop · NY |
Party Foul | Fun, but they’re just not Creature. | ●●● | ► |
| 178 | 7:22 | Dark Meat Rock · GA |
Freedom Ritual | The official band of unshaven legs. | ●● | ► |
| 179 | 3:21 | Darker My Love Rock · CA |
Summer Is Here | Makes me wish I could drive. | ●●●● | ► |
| 180 | 3:52 | David Banner Hip Hop/Rap · MS |
Play | He’s quite partial to damp ladies. | ●● | ► |
| 181 | 3:29 | David Ford Singer-Songwriter · UK |
Go To Hell | Sadly, never actually arrives at hell. | ●● | ► |
| 182 | 4:07 | David Garza Rock · TX |
Dead French Dudes | His snotty girlfriend makes him anxious. | ●●●● | ► |
| 183 | 3:11 | Dead to Fall Rock · IL |
Major Rager | The song title speaks loud volumes. | ● | ► |
| 184 | 3:06 | The Deadbeat Poets Rock · OH |
Ernest T. | “Dear Wes Anderson, here we are.” | ● | ► |
| 185 | 3:29 | Deadstring Brothers Rock · MI |
Heavy Load | The Cripple Creek steamboat’s house band. | ●● | ► |
| 186 | 3:10 | Deana Carter Alt Country · CA |
The Story Of My Life | Perfect for drinking cold iced tea. | ●●●● | ► |
| 187 | 2:05 | TheDeathSet Punk · MD |
Negative Thinking | The beat just repeats and repeats. | ● | ► |
| 188 | 2:21 | Debate Rock · BRAZIL |
Desperdicio | Crabby, inharmonious Brazilian guitar-rock whinging. | ●● | ► |
| 189 | 4:54 | Delorean Rock · SPAIN |
As Time Breaks Off | Echoes of “Echoes.” Of “Echoes.” Of. | ●●●●● | ► |
| 190 | 3:52 | Delorentos Rock · IRELAND |
Stop | Unfair to review this after Delorean. | ●● | ► |
| 191 | 3:37 | Delta Spirit Rock · CA |
Trashcan | He’s really excited about that girl. | ●●●● | ► |
| 192 | 4:47 | Deluka Rock · UK |
Sleep Is Impossibe | All of Britain issued synthesizers, apparently. | ●● | ► |
| 193 | 2:06 | Descartes a Kant Rock · MEXICO |
My Sweetest Headache Waltz | They might be awesome. Or not. | ●●● | ► |
| 194 | 2:51 | Devon Williams Rock · CA |
A Truce | Song mauled to death by violins. | ● | ► |
| 195 | 3:33 | The Dexateens Rock · AL |
caption | Please don’t smack guitars for percussion. | ● | ► |
| 196 | 4:32 | Die! Die! Die! Rock · NEW ZEALAND |
Sideways Here We Come | Yes, please. Never, ever stop dying. | ● | ► |
| 197 | 3:57 | The Dimes Rock · TX |
Delilah | Definitely the most original song title. | ● | ► |
| 198 | 3:39 | Dirty Sweet Rock · CA |
Delilah | Definitely the most original song title. | ● | ► |
| 199 | 3:54 | Dirty Wormz Hip Hop/Rap · TX |
Right Now | Perfect for certain skateboarding videos. | ●● | ► |
VERY COMMON WORDS IN ARTIST NAMESBlack · DJ · Band · White · David · Little · King · Paul · Out · Me · Matt · Man · Kid · Joe · James · Dan · Brothers · Williams · Smith · Radio · Project |
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| No. | Time | Artist | Song | Review | Rating | ► |
| 200 | 1:14 | DJ Jester the Filipino Fist DJ · TX |
LiveKingRemix | Neutral Milk Hotel plus drumtrack? Seriously? | ● | ► |
| 201 | 4:16 | DJ Rekha Electronic · NY |
Basement Bhangra Anthem | Behold, wheels of hardened Punjabi steel. | ●●●●● | ► |
| 202 | 4:43 | The Dodos Rock · CA |
Fools | Moves along cheerfully with studied yelling. | ●●●● | ► |
| 203 | 5:20 | Dokkebi Q Reggae · JAPAN |
Hardcore Cherry BonBon | Confounding glitchy dubstep Japanese sex reggae. | ●●●●● | ► |
| 204 | 3:55 | domingoSiete Latin Rock · CA |
I don’t know about that | A baby starts singing at :50. | ●● | ► |
| 205 | 5:57 | Doug Burr Alt Country · TX |
In the Garden | Nothing good happens in the garden. | ●●●● | ► |
| 206 | 3:58 | Doug Walker Singer-Songwriter · UK |
Obstacles (Demo) | Doug is a sincere young man. | ● | ► |
| 207 | 3:37 | Doujah Raze Hip Hop/Rap · VA |
Where You Are | Hip-hop that’s prepared to cuddle. | ●●● | ► |
| 208 | 3:54 | Dr. Delay DJ · NY |
Reigny Daze | Dr. Dr. Dr. Delay lay lay. | ●●●● | ► |
| 209 | 3:29 | Dr. Dog Rock · PA |
The Girl | The Beatles show up without warning. | ●●●●● | ► |
| 210 | 3:04 | Dreamend Rock · IL |
are you waking | A twee soporofic that meanders unoffendingly. | ●●●● | ► |
| 211 | 3:18 | Driving By Night Rock · IRELAND |
Fears Of Men | They could have called it “arrhenphobia.” | ●● | ► |
| 212 | 3:49 | Droids Attack Metal · WI |
Dope Smuggler | You can smell the beer sweat. | ●● | ► |
| 213 | 4:02 | Drojo Hip Hop/Rap · TX |
Bring It Back | Does he really sing “slanted eye”? | ● | ► |
| 214 | 3:32 | Drop Dead, Gorgeous Rock · CO |
They’ll Never Get Me (Word With You) | “Not again. Not again.” Yes—exactly. | ● | ► |
| 215 | 3:12 | Drug Rug Rock · MA |
Day I Die | As their name suggests, a drag. | ● | ► |
| 216 | 3:21 | Dub Trio Punk · NY |
Jack Bauer | That riff gets old very fast. | ● | ► |
| 217 | 4:02 | Duchess Says Rock · QC |
Black Flag | Canadian. Notable, even, but not Creature. | ●●●● | ► |
| 218 | 3:01 | The Duke Spirit Rock · UK |
Lassoo | Fully deserves 15 minutes of fame. | ●●●● | ► |
| 219 | 4:54 | Eagle Seagull Rock · NE |
I’m Sorry But I’m Beginning To Hate Your Face | This vocal style’s like the plague. | ● | ► |
| 220 | 1:47 | Eat Skull Punk · OR |
Seeing Things | But I’m not hungry for skull. | ● | ► |
| 221 | 4:20 | Edison Glass Rock · NY |
All Our Memories | You too grew up on U2? | ●●● | ► |
| 222 | 2:35 | El Jesus De Magico Punk · OH |
LGNO | I have just become an agnostic. | ● | ► |
| 223 | 4:34 | Eldar Jazz · NY |
I Remember When | Jesus Christ, somebody stop this elevator. | ●● | ► |
| 224 | 2:52 | Electric Touch Pop · TX |
Lines | Take away “touch”; add “Light Orchestra.” | ●● | ► |
ORGANI never had this problem before, but the more organ in a song, the more I was likely to hate it. By the end of this experiment the simple peal of rock organ caused me to squint and hunch in my seat, bracing myself for the next three minutes of music. It’s a crutch; when there is an uncertain patch, a musical problem to solve, the band thinks, “I know. We’ll use organ.” Now they have two problems. |
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| No. | Time | Artist | Song | Review | Rating | ► |
| 225 | 5:28 | Elephone Alt. · CA |
The Camera Behind The Camera Behind The Camera | My review: shorter than the title. | ●● | ► |
| 226 | 5:56 | Elias Haslanger Jazz · TX |
Eternal & Absolute | Jazz; starts to shine halfway through. | ●●●●● | ► |
| 227 | 3:02 | Elis Paprika Rock · MEXICO |
No Me Vas a Callar | There’s little particularly wrong with this. | ●●● | ► |
| 228 | 2:49 | Elizabeth Wills Singer-Songwriter · TX |
Sweet | And I’d hate picking on this. | ●●● | ► |
| 229 | 3:14 | The Emeralds Punk · JAPAN |
ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU | They’re Japanese and sing very fast. | ●● | ► |
| 230 | 3:17 | Emmy the Great Singer-Songwriter · UK |
Easter Parade | Emmy’ | ||
