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Headlines for Friday, March 30, 2007

Afternoon Edition

Saudi Arabia assumes its relationship with the U.S. “can withstand a gentle whack or two.”

Model U.N. behaving remarkably like real U.N.

“He is like a demigod on campus.” The star of Georgetown’s N.C.A.A. run has a drooling problem.

Growing trend of “bracketology” excites math professors, scares addiction counselors.

Something to crow about: It’s the 2007 Tournament of Books Championship Match, and a winner has been crowned.

Facebook is the new chocolate for Lenten abstention.

The Miss America pageant—drawing less than 1/40th of the viewers it once did—is now homeless.

Slate’s guide to avoiding April Fools news stories; Wired’s guide to nerdy April Fools pranks.

Astronaut plans to compete in Boston Marathon via treadmill and bungee cords.

The implications of granting “personhood” to apes.

In today’s Video Digest, Sarah Hepola has instructional videos for what you always wished you could do, but were afraid to ask.

Student suspended for wearing pirate outfit in full and complete accordance with the principles of Pastafarianism.

Live fish fingers swim close to oily death.

Why governments won’t admit organics are healthier: farm politics.

Power of prayer to kill your loved ones now confirmed.

Photos: Elementary school in the far Falklands is a strange affair.

Morning Edition

For the first time, Bush invites his party caucus to hang at the White House—a tactic we haven’t seen since the day Clinton was impeached.

Yesterday in Iraq, insurgent attacks targeting Shiites left more than 100 people dead.

Keeping it classy: Iran airs a second U.K. sailor’s confession and apology.

In Senate hearing, former Gonazles aide testifies that the attorney general was very involved with the firings.

France’s presidential race is coming to a single point: Who is the most French of the candidates? And: French politics invade Second Life.

Foresters understand your final wishes, and still don’t want your ashes spread in their nature.

LAPD to get brighter, smaller flashlights—that can’t be used as weapons.

Dana Spiotta, Jenny Offill, Rick Moody, and Christopher Sorrentino grace Writers’ Week at Moistworks.

Six weeks late for Valentine’s Day, but here’s your 6-foot dark chocolate Jesus.

Evolution, schmevolution: Blind spiders that may die if exposed to light thrive—sort of—in caves.

Researchers go wild for lab animals—though once therapies make the jump to humans, the results can be unpredictable.

The concept was simple enough: Get nerds together at a bar and watch nerds give PowerPoint presentations to other nerds while drinking beer. (Also from emcee Wasowski.)

David Lynch hates product placement; we love that the second season of Twin Peaks is finally being released on DVD.

Video: Noel Gallagher covers “There Is a Light That Never Goes Out.”

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