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Headlines for Thursday, January 11, 2007

Evening Edition

Artists to console Canadians by memorializing the 26 victims of a notorious serial killer.

It’s about time for Muslims to laugh at themselves. Little Mosque on the Prairie debuts in Canada.

Cheap nosejobs should probably be avoided in Cairo.

Eleven-thousand Indian constables soon to be trained by prostitutes.

World growth to slow in 2007.

Repressive dictatorships around the globe, beware: Wikileaks coming soon.

What does it take to get Beckham to hop the pond? $250 million.

Sammy Hagar now available for hire ever since he heard Dylan could be bought for your birthday.

Montana company uses mangled truck to tell drivers that death will be dealt with most harshly.

Old rumors about New Coke.

The carbon footprint of a cheeseburger.

Video of he who claims to be the World Freehand Circle Drawing Champion.

Need stickers? Wallspankers 3 now available, also, the Coffee Pot Alarm Clock.

Afternoon Edition

University of Michigan drops affirmative action in the middle of the admissions process for next year’s freshmen.

The road to college football starts at the U.S. Army National Combine.

D.C. construction worker fell four stories to his death. Authorities unclear on why he was naked.

When there’s scorpions on a plane, the jokes are just too easy.

And Jenna asked, “But what about Mary Cheney? Since lesbians can’t get married, how can they have premarital sex?”

Skiing in Dubai, it’s possible to crash through a T.G.I. Friday’s window.

The case for Beijing as the city that never sleeps.

China really unhappy about the “political farce” of Saddam’s execution; Japan not particularly pleased, either.

Xtreme Everest expedition to study genetic predisposition to hypoxia not sponsored by Mountain Dew

Unsatisfying deal reached on Brooklyn’s Broken Angel.

European porpoises starving, dying of hypothermia as their food sources are killed by rising ocean temperatures.

Commuters in London Fog raincoats actively fight for their drinking rites on New York trains.

British women finally allowed to eat meat.

Morning Edition

Bush to boost troops in Iraq by 20,000 for a fight that’s not “open-ended,” yet not a sign of “stepping back.”

Bush on Iraq is either resolute or delusional, but he only has one new idea.

One small note: Bush vows to stop the “flow of support” from Iran and Syria; does that mean strikes?

“Gated communities” planned for Baghdad, a technique used in Vietnam that failed “spectacularly.”

Iraq says the U.S. can keep its new troops, thanks anyway; most Americans agree.

Democrats united in opposition to Bush’s plans.

Only John Edwards, at this point, is selling a foreign-policy position his party wants to hear.

Sen. Christopher Dodd would like you to know, amidst the Bush coverage, that he’s running for President, too.

North Korea to alleviate food shortages with giant bunnies.

Cisco sues Apple, claiming ownership of the “iPhone”. Japan looks at the iPhone and says, “eh.”

Hamas accepts existence of Israel as “reality,” doesn’t seek its destruction in its charter.

Year after year they are pleasantly surprised to find that not everything is getting more rotten in the state of Denmark.

State of emergency declared in Bangladesh after weeks of political crisis.

Hard-up news producers can now turn home movies quickly into media events, ala “TiggerGate.”

Op: Don’t blame the media for Iraq! Whatever our shortcomings, look at our first-rate coverage!

TODAY’S FEATURE

Bright Inaugural Day, Washington

The U.S. presidential inauguration in January will be one for the ages. LAUREN FREY concludes her series of election-related verse with a hat tip to Langston Hughes.

DIGEST

Lincoln Logorrhea

In his cabinet choices, as in his home state, our president-elect mirrors our 16th president. Gore Vidal’s historical novel about Lincoln helps to balance the dozens of more rigid bios.

My Incredulous Face

Holiday Travel Hell

Nicole Pasulka compiles tales of horror from the TMN writers.

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Tuesday, December 2, 2008