Giles Turnbull

TMN Contributing Writer Giles Turnbull finds it hard to write a meaningful bio, despite being a professional writer for some 15 years now. That’s horrifying. It’s frightening. You can visit him online at gilest.org.

The Hot Jam of Forever

Each summer, certain songs are unofficially recognized as those that fill dance floors, roll down windows, and in general get this party started. Our STAFF AND READERS recall the best music from their best summers. (Of Recent Note | September 2, 2010)

Where Secrets Harden

Accompanied by a nervous, loudmouth dog, GILES TURNBULL sneaks into a hidden, underground city where Britain hides thousands of extremely dull documents. (Letters from Bath | August 6, 2010)

Stiff Upper Lip Meets Sword of Truth

David Cameron explained his plan yesterday to build a “big society” and no one understood a word of it. GILES TURNBULL translates, with help from droid Margaret Thatcher. (Letters From London | July 20, 2010)

Fantasy Road Trips

If gas was free, vacation days were unlimited, and your schedule was as open as the road ahead, where would you go? Our STAFF AND READERS unfold their maps. (Of Recent Note | July 1, 2010)

Bad Trips

We asked our STAFF AND READERS to rewrite the end of Lost. Spoiler alert! But not really, when you consider you’d have to flash-sideways to experience the alternative realities ahead. (Of Recent Note | May 28, 2010)

The Passing of the Commons Plate

The British electoral system can be confusing for outsiders. GILES TURNBULL explains its rituals and inner workings—e.g., the role of the Chief Whife—to make things clear. (Letters From London | May 7, 2010)

Travel Tips We Learned the Hard Way

As we carve out weekends for summer vacations and welcome loved ones home from across the volcanic ash-strewn pond, our STAFF AND READERS share their hard-earned trip advice. (Of Recent Note | April 29, 2010)

About Time

Britain’s national superhero has alternately worn a scarf, a leather jacket, and lots of question marks. No longer. GILES TURNBULL celebrates the newest Doctor Who. (Opinions | April 8, 2010)

Preferred Patio Beverages

As the weather warms and we retreat to our patios, roofdecks, and lanais, our thirst increases. Our STAFF AND READERS share their favorite outdoor drinks. (Of Recent Note | March 31, 2010)

Come On, Sugar, Let Me Know

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week, GILES TURNBULL reaches out to the masses on Chatroulette for advice on sexiness, with horrifying consequences. (The Non-Expert | February 26, 2010)

Songs My Mother Never Taught Me

TMN contributor GILES TURNBULL has an incredibly filthy mouth. Turns out he’s simply British and a fan of pop music. A swear-laden review of some glorious cursing. (Op-Ed | January 28, 2010)

Cures for the Common Cold

As we spelunk into the depths of winter, we felt the time was ripe to rearm our medicine cabinets. Our STAFF AND READERS share their remedies for colds, flus, and related maladies. (Of Recent Note | January 27, 2010)

From Cover to Cover

Music connects to memories, and so do album sleeves. From ELO’s spaceship to Róisín Murphy’s see-through top, GILES TURNBULL recounts the covers that made him a fan. (Personal Essays | December 15, 2009)

Untraditional Traditions

Year after year, it’s the unique ways we celebrate the holidays that make them worth celebrating. Our STAFF AND READERS share their uncommon customs. (Of Recent Note | November 25, 2009)

A Common Nomenclature for Lego Families

Thousands of different Lego exist, yet when your seven-year-old asks for “a clippy bit,” you know exactly what to hand him. GILES TURNBULL surveys a caucus of children. (Opinions | November 4, 2009)

The Babysitter

The kids are asleep upstairs, and the sitter waits alone in a darkened house—and then the phone rings. If you think you know what happens next, think again. THE WRITERS finish the story. (Spoofs & Satire | October 30, 2009)

First Scary Movies

You can sleep with the closet light on, you can crawl into your parents’ bed, but you can never forget your first truly frightening horror movie. Our STAFF AND READERS agree. (Of Recent Note | October 29, 2009)

OK Genius

Apple’s iTunes software claims to be a Genius at making mixes. GILES TURNBULL begs to differ, knowing how mixes should be made, and proposes a duel of “Fingertips.” (Opinions | September 18, 2009)

Superpowers, Revealed

It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s…someone who can divide a dinner bill five ways! Sometimes the best abilities are the ones the world can’t see. Our STAFF AND READERS share their talents. (Of Recent Note | September 2, 2009)

When the Lights Went Out

At 4:15 p.m. on Aug. 14, 2003, tens of millions of people across the Northeast and Midwest U.S. and Ontario were suddenly without power. Our STAFF AND READERS tell us what happened next. (Of Recent Note | August 14, 2009)

The Present Sound of London

A big city creates a unique din and racket as recognizable as its skyline. Presenting a day in the sounds of London, with GILES TURNBULL and his recording device. (Letters From London | July 8, 2009)

Favorite Worst Movies

Summer movies tend to crush box-office records, dumbfound critics, and be terrible. Our STAFF AND READERS tell us about the movies they know they shouldn’t love. (Of Recent Note | July 2, 2009)

The Pride of the Bernard-Barnards of West Wickingham Is Wounded

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week, GILES TURNBULL receives a letter from a student in distress and does absolutely nothing to assist her. (The Non-Expert | June 12, 2009)

When the Going Was Good

British elites have been caught using public money to clean their moats, and a nation seethes. GILES TURNBULL offers a primer on Parliament and the latest controversy sweeping Great Britain. (Letters From London | May 14, 2009)

Wait a Minute, Mr. Postman

The U.S. and the U.K. have much in common, but not postage. ROSECRANS BALDWIN and GILES TURNBULL account for the mysteries of two very different mail systems. (Spoofs & Satire | May 5, 2009)

Viva Print

As the industry stands ready to pulp entire newsstands, devotees of periodicals refuse to give up on their first love. Our READERS AND WRITERS extol their favorite ink-based publications. (Of Recent Note | May 1, 2009)

Attractive With Glasses

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week, GILES TURNBULL, a man who’s more attractive with his glasses on, counsels a reader on the beauty of frames. (The Non-Expert | April 10, 2009)

Your Favorite Thing About the Recession

Times are tight—but must they necessarily be bad? We asked our READERS AND WRITERS to find the upside to the downturn. (Of Recent Note | April 2, 2009)

One Spring Day

As winter wanes, everyone grows tired of the cold and damp, whether they live in San Francisco, Austin, or London. A day in the life of TMN’S EDITORS & WRITERS on the first day of spring. (Profiles | March 23, 2009)

Love Sic

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. Our mailbag is stuffed with questions about love, often oddly phrased. GILES TURNBULL addresses one of the more curious examples. (The Non-Expert | February 27, 2009)

People I Wish I Knew

We asked: “Who are your would-be acquaintances, your potential best friends, your maybe-someday muses?” With hopeful associates living and dead, renown and unknown, the TMN READERS AND WRITERS respond. (Of Recent Note | February 24, 2009)

The Crippling Fear of Corriearklet

Pity the English. Not only are they cursed with bad weather, and the habit of talking about it all the time, they also fear eye contact with strangers in long corridors. GILES TURNBULL explains one nation’s syndrome. (Op-Ed | January 21, 2009)

Mr. Bowyer’s Fantastic Machine

Lots of machines can manufacture things. What about one that could produce everything, including itself? GILES TURNBULL visits the man who taught a machine to replicate. (Profiles | November 12, 2008)

A Writer by Any Other Name

Describing a character over 300 pages is one thing—reducing yourself to three lines is another. GILES TURNBULL struggles with a writer’s greatest challenge: the byline. (Personal Essays | February 13, 2008)

Please Spool to End of Tape Before Playing Other Side

For music listeners of every era, our audio formats define us—until we grow up and upgrade. GILES TURNBULL remembers the sweet squeak of cassettes. (Personal Essays | January 17, 2008)

Murder and the Masseuse

Many of us imagine killing our bosses; some people actually take it a little further. GILES TURNBULL meets a woman who got into the massage business to avoid a homicide rap. (Profiles | October 9, 2007)

Monday, September 6, 2010

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