In which the saga is revealed that bred Gary Benchley; inspired a circus of half-loving, half-betrayed fans; landed a book deal; and even—truly—forced a trip to the hospital after Benchley almost gave PAUL FORD a heart attack. (New York, New York | September 28, 2005)
Some birds, like penguins, can’t fly. Others, like the majestic bald eagle, can. It’s a sentence we never expected to write, but here it is: this is the last column in the chronicles of our favorite wannabe rock star. Gary Benchley explains why. (New York, New York | May 11, 2005)
Ah, the glory of indie-rock touring: the drugs, the groupies, the rock. But are all those things negated when you’re forced to wear costumes? Singer, songwriter, fashion plate Gary Benchley prepares to take the country. (New York, New York | April 27, 2005)
You invest your aspirations and your savings account into recording an album, and then place it in someone else’s hands to finish, and perhaps ruin with a drum and bass remix. Correspondent and hopeful rocker Gary Benchley reports on an album received. (New York, New York | April 13, 2005)
Who would have guessed the rock dream involves lots of old-fashioned hard work? And why is it rarely a good idea to include a brass band on a rock album? Diarist and acoustic-guitar player Gary Benchley gives us an update from the studio. (New York, New York | March 30, 2005)
When you’re recording a few songs with friends, it’s OK to slack around. When you’re recording a few songs with very expensive engineers, you better not flub that G sharp. Rock star/diarist Gary Benchley heads into the studio and tries to find his voice. (New York, New York | March 16, 2005)
Are the acoustics to blame when some executive’s fancy stereo makes your demo sound like mush, or was it really mush in the first place? Can mush rule the world? Rock-star-to-be Gary Benchley hops in the hot seat and learns about synergy. (New York, New York | March 2, 2005)
When you know your band is the greatest that’s ever rocked, how do you convince the rest of the world? Are nine songs enough to change nine billion minds? Gary Benchley returns with a new letter about sending out the demo, sorting out your dreams, and eating cheeseburgers. (New York, New York | February 16, 2005)
There’s no one like your immediate family to make your shortcomings into dinner conversation. Our favorite dreamer Gary Benchley continues the saga by heading home to Albany, to confront a table of successful siblings. (New York, New York | February 2, 2005)
Trusting your instincts is tough; trusting others’ instincts can be a lot harder. Someday songbird Gary Benchley returns to Brooklyn chastened with a broken ankle, and puts his faith in his roommate’s healing hands, and his band’s ideas for their future. (New York, New York | January 19, 2005)
In the city of ambition, dreams are rarely packaged with paychecks, and everyone must do something to pay the billseven if it doesn’t involve rock. Hopeful LiveAID revivalist Gary Benchley escapes his bandmates’ ties to reality and runs to Vermont. (New York, New York | January 5, 2005)
On the heels of sudden successa good show, a potential managerarrives doubt, fear, and the means for everything to fall apart. Aspiring music god Gary Benchley discovers his dream of rock may not be everyone else’s dream too. (New York, New York | December 15, 2004)
How can a rock band plan for the unknown? What good are hours of practice and training when it only takes one bad microphone to ruin a show? Schizopolis lead vocalist and someday rock god Gary Benchley goes Bono-style and puts his faith in a higher power. (New York, New York | December 2, 2004)
Ruts can happen to anyone, even 23-year-olds, and the best response is a brand-new gym membership and a new girlfriend? Someday-maybe rock star Gary Benchley keeps his head down and tries not to worry too much about his gut. (New York, New York | November 17, 2004)
After a year of living in New York, he has acquired an apartment, a job, a rewarding hobby, and a meaningful, sexless relationshipall the tokens of an early middle age? Rock star hopeful Gary Benchley struggles with turning 23, and finds an epiphany. (New York, New York | November 3, 2004)
If a band plays a concert, and no one pays attention, can it still aspire to musical greatness? Is anything louder than the sound of no hands clapping? Aspiring rock star Gary Benchley meets pure failure and calls his mom, and finds love expressed in sculpture to be less than rock-solid. (New York, New York | October 20, 2004)
Who has better lyrics, the GOP or New York’s rockers? And can a romantic relationship survive hug therapy? Aspiring rock star Gary Benchley plays his first live show and survives, albeit a bit singed, to report on a hard day’s night. (New York, New York | October 6, 2004)
What name is good enough for a band meant to rock the world, and must it reference Elvis Costello somehow? Aspiring rock star Gary Benchley files a report on avant-garde art parties, a surprise visit from his sister, and the future of punk rock while Bush is in the White House. (New York, New York | September 22, 2004)
Is love different when it’s declared in the big apple, and if so, do you have to tell your co-workers about it? Aspiring rock star GARY BENCHLEY returns from summer vacation with a story about romance, patriotism, and sexual frustration. (New York, New York | September 8, 2004)
In his ninth dispatch for TMN, aspiring rock star Gary Benchley brings his band together for the first practice session, though it’s hard to stay focused when his girlfriend ignores him, his roommates are openly intimate, and his father calls with some unexpected advice. (New York, New York | July 27, 2004)
In his eighth dispatch for TMN, aspiring rock star Gary Benchley tries to complete his indie-prog band as a model of diversity, but runs into trouble when racial profiling turns out to be a less-than-sensitive method for recruiting a bass player. (New York, New York | July 7, 2004)
In his seventh dispatch for TMN, aspiring rock star Gary Benchley continues to assemble his band, though finding the perfect hot chick drummer turns out to be harder than he anticipated. That, and keeping his roommate from starting a taxidermy collection. (New York, New York | June 29, 2004)
In his sixth dispatch for TMN, aspiring rock star Gary Benchley begins to make his dreams come true: time to assemble the band. But the gap between buying a guitar and playing one proves wider than expected, and it may only be Depeche Mode who can save the day. (New York, New York | June 17, 2004)
In his fifth dispatch for TMN, aspiring rock star Gary Benchley learns it’s not easy to date older women, considers giving up rock for branding, and, in a dark hour, composes the first rock tribute to Abu Ghraib. (New York, New York | May 17, 2004)
In his fourth dispatch for TMN, aspiring rock star Gary Benchley moves to the epicenter of hipsters’ Brooklyn, gets to know his new neighborhood and roommates, enjoys burlesque, and accidentally attends an A-list blogging party. (New York, New York | April 28, 2004)
In his third dispatch for TMN, aspiring rock star Gary Benchley suffers Traina mental state of anti-rockand has to make a difficult decision in order to snag his own apartment. Luckily he has The Flaming Lips’ Wayne Coyne to help him with advice. (New York, New York | April 13, 2004)
In his long-anticipated second installment for TMN, aspiring rock star and Manhattanite Gary Benchley describes his search for a proper loft to rock in, the roommates who would love to see him fail, and a certain girl who falls for the Benchley charm. (New York, New York | March 30, 2004)
In his first installment for TMN, aspiring rock star and Manhattanite Gary Benchley details his recent move from Albany, his new roommates in the city, and the difficulties of being a drummer in New York. (New York, New York | September 23, 2003)