Headlines from August 27, 2013

“While unceasingly observing and witnessing the heartbreaking bloodshed,” Syrian Comment explains why intervention isn’t viable.
One of America’s most respected bankruptcy lawyers moonlights as a new-age healer, claiming his “energy hand” works.
If you are what you do, what are you when you stop doing it and you still are? #longreads #diski
Man with synesthesia maps the London Underground according to what each station tastes like to him.
Interview with the artist who created the “poo printer”—a machine that produces letters using finch droppings.
Birds are notoriously hard to count. Bird-sighting, crowd-sourced.
Pictures of objects consumed and coveted by Americans turned into modern-day totem poles. #tmn
Rural Texas residents relate what it’s like to live without internet access and then discover YouTube.
Greatest YouTube hits from Good Neighbor, the new sketch group signed to Saturday Night Live. #video
For our student readers: Fifteenth-century college students at Leipzig University urged not to throw urine on freshmen.
At the University of Alabama, football fans and students are getting bored with all the winning.
Musicians urge fans to quit using phones during concerts—concerts just aren’t the same when attendees text the whole time.
Finally at 3:14am, Prince came onstage. Events recounted from last night’s secret Prince concert.
Today’s pop-culture theory: Miley Cyrus’s performance was actually a thought-out response to criticism of “Blurred Lines.”
CNN editor: “Let Me Explain Why Miley Cyrus’ VMA Performance Was Our Top Story This Morning.”
But is this really worth the time and energy? How to cook dinner in the dishwasher.
UK draws up contingency plans for military action in Syria; Russia warns of “catastrophic consequences.”
Kerry’s speech marked the harshest American condemnation of the slaughter in Syria to date; it didn’t mean we’re going to war. #opinions
Assad’s use of chemical weapons has been gradual—for internal reasons and to test Western reaction.
Zurich installs drive-in zone for prostitutes to move sex business away from the city center.
Related: Nordic hotel magnate replaces porn-on-demand with performance art videos in anti-trafficking campaign.
Report from Tokyo’s co-sleeping café, where ¥3,000 buys 40 minutes; add-ons include eye contact and head pats.
New cameras installed on Ford assembly lines can spot a single speck of dust on a new car.
Investigation into the big business of buying and selling blood after you’ve donated it at a local blood bank. #audio
Multiple buyers and sellers mean six liters of saltwater can cost $546 by the time you get an IV at the hospital.
See also: “Things They Don’t Tell You When You Check Yourself Into a Mental Hospital.” #tmn
Cartoon shows Bruce Wayne to be an irrational philanthropist prior to becoming Batman.
Madonna’s latest world tour made her 2013’s top-earning celebrity with $125 million.
Elements of a tennis ball used at Wimbledon stop at 11 countries and travel more than 50,000 miles before reaching a court.
Borg is a veritable atomic reactor in short pants. New York Times archive of tennis writing since 1928.
Reviewing Djokovic’s career, the New Yorker finds, among other things, “a much more polite Kanye West.” #longreads
Billie Jean King says ESPN report’s claim that the Battle of the Sexes was fixed is ridiculous.
Tracking down an overhead on opening day, Nadal may have already hit this year’s U.S. Open’s best shot. #video