Articles Written By Tobias Seamon
Tobias Seamon is author of The Magician’s Study and The Emperor’s Toy Chest. A fabulist novella, The Fair Grounds, about the world’s greatest cemetery architect, is forthcoming this fall from PS Publishing (UK). He lives in Albany, NY, and here as well
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Stories
The Six Wives of Henry LaGrange
Henry LaGrange has a very big problem. And when he isn’t struggling with his dissertation, bribing his thesis advisor, or marrying multiple women, his problem only gets bigger and bigger. Fiction by Tobias Seamon.
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Opinions
Any Given Election
What’s a devout gambler supposed to do when the sports landscape looks so bleak? Why, turn to the current presidential race, naturally. A state-by-state rundown on your best bets.
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Stories
Sentences of Discontent
Someone has to write the next Da Vinci Code, why shouldn’t it be you? To kick-start the writing process, Tobias Seamon brings us a batch of great first lines guaranteed to get your blockbuster off to a best-selling start.
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Opinions
Following My First Mind
If pop music can change lives, then the process must begin someplace in the mind, and more likely in images than words. Our writer sends us a postcard from the backyard of his brain, where Sinead O’Connor shares time with the Talking Heads.
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Personalities
Pinstriped Portraits
We know our bombers like the backs of our hands—Jeter, Matsui, now the almighty A-Rod—but who exactly are the Yankees’ fans? And is there more to life than hating the Red Sox? Our man in Albany TOBIAS SEAMON finds out what ticks for a few diehard New York fans.
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Opinions
A Reasonable Guide to Scum Rock
Let the strippers go unpaid, let the motel rooms burn—rock’s only as good as its most depraved leaders are terrible.
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The Non-Expert
All the President’s Martians
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we look into the recent hoopla over Mars, with an explanation for Dub-Dub’s motives in space.
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The Non-Expert
Bacon
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we enumerate many new ways you can prepare your favorite breakfast meat. Look out, because we’re makin’ bacon.
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Stories
Sunlit Pictures: A War Album
Conflict is an unchanging part of our society, and only seems in remission when it’s not at our own doorstep. Tobias Seamon offers a collection of vignettes about war and its constant presence in our lives.
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The Non-Expert
Krazy Kittens
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we ruffle some whiskers when we investigate the truth behind feline insanity. We may also get scratched pretty bad.
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The Non-Expert
Historical Re-Enactors
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week we show how to live in the past, bedecked in ancient garb, profound in dead languages. Yes, how to become a historical re-enactor.
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Opinions
Crowning the Action
Mel Gibson’s forthcoming movie, The Passion, has come under a great deal of fire, especially for something that nobody’s even seen yet.