The Morning News Tournament of Books, sponsored by Powell’s Books, is an annual battle royale amongst the top novels in “literary fiction” published throughout the year. Read more about this year’s tournament »
Against the Dayby THOMAS PYNCHON
Pride of Baghdadby BRIAN K. VAUGHAN & NIKO HENRICHON
WARNER: This oddball match-up is a true testament to the absurdity and wonder that is the Tournament of Books. At a shipping weight of 3.31 pounds versus 1.15 for Pride of Baghdad, Against the Day literally triples the graphic novel in size. This is like asking Elizabeth Hasselbeck to face off against Michael Moore in celebrity sumo wrestling.
Mega-props to Judge Anthony Doerr for sorting this one out. It seems like a tougher job than the guy who’s charged with licking all of the color off the plain M&Ms backstage at an Avril Lavigne concert.
GUILFOILE: Speaking of musicians licking each other, haven’t all the white female contestants on American Idol this year looked exactly alike to you? That is, don’t they all look exactly like they’re leaving El Jardin at about 2:00 a.m. with my friend Scott even though I bought, like, three pitchers of margaritas, knew every single move from the Shiny Happy People video, and cracked everyone up with my impression of Bull from Night Court?
WARNER: I’d like to know why conservative commentators aren’t blasting away at the obvious reverse affirmative action practiced by American Idol, ensuring that six male singers make the final 12 despite there being, at max, two males who could even remotely hang with the women in a straight up sing-off. Where’s Bill Bennett when you need him?
GUILFOILE: Bill Bennett has already lost five large on Sundance Head and he has another 15 down on Cormac McCarthy. Also, I think he would say that this year’s American Idol is all about Title IX chickens coming home to roost.
What were we talking about again? Against the Day? Yeah, haven’t read that.
But I am glad that we included a graphic novel in the tourney this year, even if it got crushed like a stripped Pinto in the fiery jaws of the Pynchon Bookasaurus.