The Morning News

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Currently: July 30, 2011: Weekend http://tmne.ws/d9YZF
663 days ago

November 4, 2008, 10:56 P.M.

John,

Bill Bennett apparently has somewhere more important to be at 11 PM. Is there a new Harry Potter book being released or something?

—Kevin

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November 4, 2008, 10:48 P.M.

John,

Noooooo! Will.I.Am hol.o.gram! My eyes!!!

Anderson Cooper watching his journalistic credibility go the way of the Apple Newton.

—Kevin

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November 4, 2008, 10:43 P.M.

Kevin,

CNN has not only a virtual capitol, but in Bill Bennett, a virtual human being, something lifelike, yet not quite human.

Bennett just took exception to the implication that the Republican Party is now made up exclusively of “old, white, confederate men,” but thus far, the results pretty much show it to be a truism.

Breaking: Will.I.Am hologram from grant park. He has a purple aura around his entire body.

Do you think they’ll get Obama for a holographic in-studio interview?

—John

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November 4, 2008, 10:37 P.M.

John,

Oh No, CNN! The virtual capitol!

Second most useless expensive television graphic ever.

Plus, Al Franken’s floating point head!

Forget about Sean Hannity, Edward Tufte just busted a nut.

UPDATE: Speaking of Tufte, here’s an electoral map from two years ago speculating about a possible McCain-Obama matchup in this election.

—Kevin

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November 4, 2008, 10:24 P.M.

Kevin,

Latest report form Grant Park is that there is “a shitload of people,” but as of this writing, fewer than were present for Red Hot Chili Peppers at Lollapalooza.

Flea for Secretary of Rocking Your Face!

—John

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November 4, 2008, 10:12 P.M.

John,

The way you describe the scene downtown, I’m almost hoping for Mayor Daley to order a reprise police beat down on your brother and that angry Obama mob. If there’s any damage at all to my favorite popcorn stores, I’m holding him responsible.

Do we dare turn our attention to the Minnesota Senate race, where they may be on the verge of electing the first satirist to Congress since Bill Frist?

(Frist was joking, right?)

—Kevin

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