Not sure how to explain the internet to your young ones? Presenting a series of nursery rhymes to teach children how to comport themselves on the online.
Do not stop to think or edit:
You must be the first who said it.
You heard a brand-new band? What luck!
You’ll be the first to say they suck.
In order to increase renown,
add “bacon” to most any noun.
It’s not your job to right a wrong,
just mark it FAIL and move along.
Rather than felicitations,
send your friend an application.
To be an expert’s no great tax:
Write common sense and call it “hacks.”
Your friends won’t like it, on the real,
but you must Flickr every meal.
In disagreements, all your readers
must be branded Nazi leaders.
It doesn’t matter what you say,
just publish it twelve times per day.
* * *
Kean Soo is a cartoonist and the creator of Jellaby, a graphic novel that was first serialized as a web comic at The Secret Friend Society. An assistant editor and regular contributor to the Flight series of anthologies, he occasionally daydreams about updating his personal web site with something meaningful.