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Spoofs & Satire

Trailers for Everyday Life

Ever wonder why your life’s not more like Mel Gibson’s? Ever think maybe it’s because he gets better narration? Pasha Malla and Mike Baker bring us a batch of movie trailers scripted for real-life scenarios.

In a far-off land.
Where nothing is as it seems.
One exchange student.
Will wander for hours in a supermarket.
Baffled.
By the lack of mayonnaise.

 

This spring.
One man.
Will risk everything he has.
To prove to the woman he loves.
That the simple act of shutting the back gate.
Will keep squirrels out of the goddamn woodpile.

 

In a time when nothing seemed to matter.
In a place where fantasy knew no bounds.
Specifically, yesterday.
Behind the ice rink.
Cigarettes.
Became a passport to popularity.
For yet another teenager.

 

This Halloween.
One woman.
Alone.
Will know exactly what’s up.
When she sells a dozen eggs.
To two 13-year-olds.
In ski masks and camouflage jackets.

 

Murder.
Suspicion.
Accusation.
Are all elements.
Of a good game of Clue.

 

This summer.
Two friends.
Pushed to the limit.
With time running out.
Can only blame themselves.
For not cleaning the lint trap.
Before putting their towels in the dryer.

 

This holiday season.
One family’s Christmas.
Will have little significance.
Due, largely.
To their Hindu faith.

 

When everything you believe in.
Is fading away.
When everyone you know.
Has disappeared.
It’s probably time.
To find your coat.
Apologize.
And leave the party.

Mike Baker is a postdoctoral fellow in the Centre for Cinema Studies at the University of British Columbia. His daughter is cuter than your daughter. Pasha Malla is a film school dropout who has worked as a camp counselor, elementary school teacher, and group home coordinator. His first novel, People Park, has just been published. More by Mike Baker & Pasha Malla