Have a question? Need some advice? Ignored by everyone else? Send us your questions via email. The Non-Expert handles all subjects and is updated on Fridays, and is written by a member of The Morning News staff.
Question: How are you supposed to choose between the candidates when all the news reports only talk about HOW the races are GOING, not WHAT they’re ABOUT? I am not looking for poetry, but some straight facts on the candidates’ policy ideas or beliefs. Come on I would think you guys would be equally upset or MORE about how America is being hijacked by BIG MEDIA and the PARTIES behind the politics. —Stephen Kanter
Answer: With thanks to E.E. Cummings’s “Buffalo Bill’s,” Robert Frost’s “The Road Not Taken,” and William Carlos Williams’s “The Red Wheelbarrow”
Michigan Mitt’s
Michigan Mitt ’s
triumphed
who always
sports some stallionmane’s-silver
sideburns
and beats onetwothreefourfive republicansjustlikethat
Joseph Smith
he is a handsome man
and what I want to know is
how do you like your blackhaired boy
Mister Death Penalty
The Vote Not Shaken
Two votes diverged in a metal booth,
And sorry I could not stand for both
And be one voter, I became a sleuth
And Googled one to find the truth
About whether she’d spur economic growth;
Then Googled the other, just to be fair,
He had perhaps the better chance,
Because he was young, with hope and
flair;
Though also not that into prayer.
I suspect they shared that stance,
And both that primary equally blessed
One a woman and one black.
White male candidates must be stressed!
They couldn’t even take the Midwest.
I cast my vote and didn’t look back.
It was at least worth a try.
But honestly, I’m still kind of on the fence:
Two votes diverged in a metal booth, and I—
I picked the super charismatic guy,
And it didn’t make that much difference.
The Red Ohio
so much depends
upon
a red O
hio
crazed with vain
chatter
beside the right
talking heads
