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The LiveJournal of Zachary Marsh

An awfully different young man graduates from high school and quickly learns more than he bargained about snack foods, ducks, and a secret family history. MATTHEW BALDWIN discovers an online record of some mysterious goings-on.

This morning the authorities entered the home on Babson and found it deserted, the floors slick with mud and seaweed. On the computer was the LiveJournal of Zachary Marsh, with a notice reading “Update Successful.”


zacharymarsh [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
zacharymarsh

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

[May. 18th, 2004|06:04 pm]
[mood | cranky]

Went to the store today, the cashier asked if I had any coupons but pronounced it like "QUEUE-pons." There's no "q" in "coupons" people!!

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[May. 19th, 2004|05:24 pm]
[mood | ecstatic]
[music |Outkast, "Speakerboxxx"]

GRADUATION DAY!!!!! Goodbye Jefferson High -- hello Miskatonic University (and coeds -- w00t)!!

Dumbasses of the day: Childless couple told to try sex. Yeah, I'll have to try that too when I get to college >;-)

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[May. 23rd, 2004|01:52 pm]
[mood | excited]
[music |Blink 182, "Enema Of The State"]

Whoa, big news today. I got an email from my dad, which is crazy because I haven't really heard from him in like ten years. My parents got divorced when I was two and he moved to Seattle. (He's not supposed to contact me, but, hey, that's the beauty of the Internet: no one can control it.)

He heard about my swimming scholarship and wants to help out. It turns out he owns a house in a town near Miskatonic -- it's where he and mom lived before the divorce, he says, which is news to me because I thought mom always lived here in Boston. Anyhow, he says I can stay there for free over the summer. Plus, he got me a job (!!). He didn't say what it was but it sounds like it pays pretty well, (which is cool because I need to start saving beer money). Best of all, no more living with the parental unit! My mom's is going to be shittin' kittens when I tell her but, fuck that noise, I'm an adult now.

Now that I have a job I guess I won't be spending the whole summer playing Zookeeper like I'd planned. (Thanks Lilliah for sending me that link -- that game is mad addictive!)

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[Jun. 2nd, 2004|03:55 pm]
[mood | busy]
[music |Staind, "Break The Cycle"]

Sorry I haven't posted recently -- I know my readers must have been bummed (all three of them). A lot of stuff has been going on. I moved out of my mom's house -- I totally pussed out on telling my her about dad, though, and said I was renting an apartment with my buddy Elliot in Arkham, near the Miskatonic campus.

My dad's old house is a total dump, but free is free. It's this big house with all the windows boarded up and full of old furniture. Looks like it's been abandoned for years. Dad isn't here but he sent me another email saying that he'd come and visit soon.

One good thing about the place, though: it has a blazing fast Internet connection! It's kind of amazing that this shithole has DSL, but that's because of my "job." There were like 40 boxes of new-agey jewelry in the living room, and dad said all I have to do is list the stuff on Ebay. I"M GETTING PAID TO SURF THE WEB -- LOL, it's like some spam come true.

Some of this jewelry is actually pretty cool, gold with all these trippy patterns all over it. (Well, fake gold -- I'm guessing dad didn't leave me with 40 boxes of REAL gold jewelry). This one crown thingy has a really bizarre design on it, sort of a curvy spiral with straight lines and corners. It's kind of hard to describe. I'm going to take it to a tattoo parlor in Arkham and have them put the design around my bicep. I'll upload a pic when it's done.

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[Jun. 3rd, 2004|08:12 pm]
[mood | thoughtful]
[music |Linkin Park, "Hybrid Theory"]

I never thought of myself as a really good hugger, but a lot of people tell me that I am so I must be.

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[Jun. 4th, 2004|04:31 pm]
[mood | apathetic]

Watched the DVD of Firefly today. I don't see what the big deal is -- it's just like Star Trek.

/me shrugs.

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[Jun. 5th, 2004|12:51 pm]
[mood | bored]
[music |Hoobastank, "The Reason"]

When my dad said the house was in a suburb of Arkham I figured it would at least have movie theaters and bookstores and stuff. But it has like one bar and a bunch of freaky-looking churches and that's it. All the houses are rundown and you never see ANYONE on the streets except for grimy kids right out of some U.N.ICEF commercial. And I thought living by the ocean would be cool, but the whole town smells like low tide all the time, and the only thing the restaurants (correction: the ONE restaurant) serve is fish. It's like a ghetto or something (but I guess that makes me a gangsta! Not.)

I go to the Miskatonic campus a few times a week to practice my swimming (there's no public pool here, surprise), so I usually do laps for an hour and then go hang out with Elliot at his dorm. Elliot's cool but his roommate Chris is kind of an asshole. Like, he started calling me "The Lizard King" because of my eye problem. When I told him where I lived he said he wanted to come visit because he heard we have a Loch Ness monster or leprechauns or some shit. I couldn't really follow what he was saying because he was totally stoned.

Oh yea, that was the one cool thing about Chris -- he totally had the stash. While we were smoking and chowing down on some chips Elliot noticed the bag said they were "Baked Potato Chips" and we thought that was pretty ironic since we're were all totally BAKED while eating them. Seriously, I could NOT stop laughing.

Bad news about the tattoo, though. I took the crown to Inky Depths but when the tattooist tried to copy the design onto a sheet of paper (for practice) he couldn't do it. He tried six or seven times. He even had the other tattooist guy try, but they couldn't get it to come our right, said the angles were all wrong. Oh well, I really couldn't afford it anyhow.

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[Jun. 6th, 2004|09:09 am]
[mood | worried]



OMG that's so sad. I hope those ducks are okay.

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[Jun. 10th, 2004|11:53 am]
[mood | irritated]
[music |Nirvana, "Nevermind"]

Sorry I haven't updated in a while, not a whole lot going on since my car died and I'm stuck here, now. I was going to go to Elliot's Tueday but when I turned the key in the ignition: nothing. I guess I know where my first paycheck is going. Fuck. :(

More bad news: Creed Calls It Quits. It's totally bummed. No, psyche, I'm just kidding. Creed sucks.

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[Jun. 11th, 2004|11:42 pm]
[mood | disappointed]
[music |Puddle of Mudd, "Come Clean"]

Signs of the impending apocalypse: Garfield opens today. Worst. Movie. Ever.

Since I can't get to the Miskatonic pool anymore I've started swimming in the ocean to stay in practice. Late this afternoion, when I got to the beach, I could see like campfires and people dancing out on Devil's Reef. I figured it must be a kegger or something, so I figured out swim out and join the party, maybe meet some of the other guys from around here. Anyway, it didn't take me long to get out there (I'm a very fast swimmer), but when I arrived the party was over. I don't know what happened. About halfway out there I saw people diving off the reef into the water, but I don't know where they could have gone unless they had boats on the other side or something. Anyhow, everyone had cleared out by the time I arrived.

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[Jun. 13th, 2004|01:33 pm]
[mood | mellow]
[music |12 Stones, "12 Stones"]

Wow, my dad IM'd me today!

oldmanmarsh: Hello, son

zachattack86: who is this?

oldmanmarsh: It's your father

zachattack86: no way where atre you?

oldmanmarsh: Here in town. I've always been here.

zachattack86: serious??!

zachattack86: mom said you we re in seattle

oldmanmarsh: That doesn't surprise me. Your mother didn't want you to know I lived nearby. We've never exactly seen eye-to-eye on how to raise you

oldmanmarsh: Just a sec, brb

oldmanmarsh: Back. sorry

zachattack86: np

zachattack86: why haven't you come visit yet?

oldmanmarsh: I'm coming next week. I'll introduce you to the whole family

zachattack86: whole faimly?

zachattack86: did you remarry?/??

oldmanmarsh: No, it's your family. Your uncle Simon and your aunt Helga, your great-aunt Miriam, along with many of your cousins. Grandfather Marsh is here too, btw. And his father, and his father, and HIS father.

zachattack86: my great great grandpa??

zachattack86: i mean great greate GREAT grandpa???

zachattack86: wtf he must be 100 years old

oldmanmarsh: He's quite a bit older than that

zachattack86: so we're having like a family reunion?

oldmanmarsh: You could say that

oldmanmarsh: g2g Zachary. cya soon

zachattack86: k. bye.

oldmanmarsh: iicf

zachattack86: ?? whats iicf?

oldmanmarsh: Oh, "I'a I'a Cthulhu fhtagn." I'll explain when I see you.
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[Jun. 15th, 2004|11:45 am]
[mood | hopeful]

It looks like Yahoo! is taking on Gmail head-to-head -- now they're offering a gig of storage too. I'd still love a gmail account, so if anyone wants to invite me, feel free. (I'm looking at YOU darknyte.)

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[Jun. 16th, 2004|10:34 am]
[mood | exhausted]
[music |311, "Greatest Hits"]

Elliot and Chris came out to visit last night. I wasn't expecting them, but I guess Chris really wanted to come because of the crazy stuff he's heard about this place. Supposedly there are devils that live in the water and people here used to make human sacrifices to them in exchange for money or trinkets or something. It was a pretty convoluted story.

We walked around and looked at all the rundown houses until even Chris admitted there wasn't anything to see. Finally we just went to the bar and hung out there for a while (they don't check ID which is cool). There were actually some guys our age and in thier 20s -- the oldest people I've ever seen here. Right away Chris started acting like a dick again, saying I could probably score with the girls there since most of them had my bulging eyes / narrow face problem.

I guess Wednesdays are karaoke nights there, so after we got pretty drunk Elliot got up there and sang "Faith" (it was the old George Michael version but he sang it like Limp Bizkit, which was funny) and I sang "Hey Ya." We were the only people singing songs, though -- everyone else was doing these creepy chants in Chinese or Russian and the host would play this background music that sounded like those "ocean waves" subliminal hypnosis tapes my mom used to listen to when she was trying to quit smoking. Chris got up there and just sort of yodeled a bunch, like making fun of the other people, and everyone started to look pissed. Then Chris wanted me to go up there and do a fake chant too and I didn't want to, but he kept goading me so finally I agreed. I didn't want to make anyone angry so I tried to make mine sound good and I actually did a pretty good job. It was like I knew all the words. Afterwards Chris was a little weirded out so we went back to my place.

Elliot and Chris crashed on my couches last night but had taken off before I got up this morning. It looks like we tracked water and mud all over the floor when we came home last night, but that doesn't surprise me because we were pretty wasted. Man, I'm totally hung over.

In other news: Truck hauling bees crashes in Montana. I guess it must have been a STING operation :-p

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[Jun. 16th, 2004|12:52 pm]
[mood | confused]
[music |Kid Rock, "Cocky"]

WTF? I just got back from the store and noticed Elliot's car is still in front of my house. Chris probably talked him into going exploring around town or something.

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[Jun. 17th, 2004|03:11 am]
[mood | awake]
[music |Rage Against The Machine, "Battle of Los Angeles"]

It's 3:00 in the morning, and I guess those people out of the reef are having another party because I can see fires out there and I keep hearing drums and whooping and hollering (some of it even sounds like screaming -- must be pretty wild). Anyway, they woke me up and I can't get back to sleep, so I guess I'll just surf the web for a while. BTW, Elliot and Chris aren't back yet -- they must be on a bender. I hope they're not out at that reef party without me, that would be totally lame.

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[Jun. 18th, 2004|01:23 pm]
[mood | amused]
[music |Incubus, "Fungus Amongus"]



Hehehehe that is *so* true.

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[Jun. 19th, 2004|05:44 pm]
[mood | depressed]
[music |Uncle Kracker, "Double Wide"]

Still no Elliot or Chris. Went back to the bar to ask if anyone had seen them, but the bartender said no. Then outside I got waylaid by some old drunk guy who said he knew what happened to them. I kept trying to get him to tell me where they were, but first he insisted on telling me this wild story about how the people here are satanists and in the old days a lot of them had sex with these sea demons so now everyone has kids that start out looking normal but then slowly turn into these immortal frogpeople as they get older. It was actually a lot like the stuff Chris has been saying. Then the guy totally switches gears and goes on and on about how I should get out of town before tomorrow because the summer solstice is "homecoming," which doesn't make any sense because I don't even think there's a high school here. Finally I told him to shut up and tell me where Elliot was, and all he did was point out to that reef. I knew those assholes went to that party!

Other than that, not much to write about. Sorry this blog is so boring.

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[Jun. 20th, 2004|04:33 am]
[mood | tired]
[music |P.O.D., "The Fundamental Elements of Southtown"]

Can you still buy Otter Pops? Those were the best. I liked all the flavors, except "Little Orphin Orange" because that one kinda made me sad.

After talking to that crazy drunk guy yesterday I started to think maybe I SHOULD get out of town for a few days. I dunno, that stuff he was saying kind of freaked me out a little. So even though I don't know dick about cars, I looked up auto repair on the Internet and learned some of the basics, so I could figure out what was wrong with my ride.

But then when I opened the hood of my car I discovered THE WHOLE ENGINE IS MISSING! Then I check Elliot's car and find out his engine is gone too. What kind of fucked of thieves steal a guy's engine?

Guess I'm stuck here another day at least. Oh well, dad's coming tomorrow anyhow. I hope he brings my PAYCHECK, since I guess I have to buy a new car now.

I figured I'd sleep like a log since I went for a really long swim yesterday afternoon, but I guess that was a mistake because all night I was having this super freaky dream about swimming underwater in this big city. Seriously, it was a total trip. So now here it is, 4:00 in the morning, and I'm wide awake. Oh well, that's why God made Warcraft III!

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[Jun. 20th, 2004|08:52 am]
[mood | scared]
[music |The Music of Erich Zann]

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!! there was just a knock at the door and i figured it was probably my dad so i went to answer it but when i looked through the peephole i saw there was this fucking monster outside, with like a hunded more on the street, and they all look like the things that old drunk guy was talking about. i locked the deadbolt but the knokcign got louder and louder and now i think they are trying to break down the door!!!

at firsyt i thought they were attacking, but the more i think about it the more i think i recognized the monster that was knocking. i think it's my dad. and i dfon't think they're here to kill me i think they are here to WELCOME ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the door is breaking there coming inside.. i have to hit post, no time to spellcheck. if anyone is reding this send help to 1465 babson street, innsmouth

also, chekc out subservient chicken its hilarious lol

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TMN Contributing Writer Matthew Baldwin has haphazardly updated his site defective yeti for more than a decade. He is also responsible for Infinite Summer (an internet-wide reading of David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest), A Month of Son (a blog about raising his autistic son), and Seattle Gamenight (a monthly tabletop gaming group). More by Matthew Baldwin