The Morning News

Friday, March 19, 2010

Currently: "I am old-fashioned and think that reading books is the most glorious pastime that humankind has yet devised." http://tmne.ws/14845
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Archives

Ralph Gamelli

Ralph Gamelli has been published in The Big Jewel, McSweeney’s, Monkeybicycle, and Yankee Pot Roast. This is the part where he’s supposed to put down some little joke, but as always he refuses to bow to societal expectations. Email him here.

Go Climb a Tree

When all you want is get away from it all, just grab a branch, hoist yourself up, and leave your troubles below. RALPH GAMELLI guides you to a peaceful place. (Spoofs & Satire | March 19, 2010)

Pushing Your Buttons

Introducing iBox 2G, the fastest, most powerful way to satisfy your greed and simultaneously kill a complete stranger. RALPH GAMELLI attends the keynote. (Spoofs & Satire | December 11, 2009)

Don’t Be a Statistic

While H1N1 dominates the headlines, other equally worrisome conditions get lost in the panic. RALPH GAMELLI has tips to survive spontaneous human combustion. (Spoofs & Satire | September 25, 2009)

Read My Body Language

When you fold your arms or cross your legs, you unconsciously send a message that reveals your true thoughts. RALPH GAMELLI shows us how to read his physical cues. (Spoofs & Satire | June 16, 2009)

How I Survived the Various Apocalypses

From zombies to aliens to zombie-aliens, RALPH GAMELLI recalls the times that, with civilization at its very brink, against all odds—you know the drill. (Spoofs & Satire | January 15, 2009)

A World Without Me

Assume all human life within an apartment suddenly and inexplicably vanishes, said human life consisting entirely of RALPH GAMELLI. What happens next? (Spoofs & Satire | March 26, 2008)

Three Simple Ways to Abandon Your Family

When enough is enough, when federal investigators are on your trail, or you’ve decided to marry that cocktail waitress after all—it’s time to leave. RALPH GAMELLI has a guide for deadbeats. (Spoofs & Satire | November 16, 2007)

We’re Looking Out for You

With slo-mo commercials warning against fender benders, does your insurance company truly have your well-being in mind? RALPH GAMELLI introduces us to a firm that has you in good hands; that is, if they hadn’t just been digging through your trash. (Spoofs & Satire | November 29, 2006)

Golf Is a Highly Mental Game

A guide to the major techniques, strokes, and hazards you will encounter during an average day on the links. First: You should never forget that golf is a highly mental game. RALPH GAMELLI writes. (Spoofs & Satire | August 8, 2006)


TODAY’S FEATURE

Go Climb a Tree

When all you want is get away from it all, just grab a branch, hoist yourself up, and leave your troubles below. RALPH GAMELLI guides you to a peaceful place.

OUR MAN IN BOSTON

Manguel on Reading

Alberto Manguel writes about his first love.

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TMN TALKS

Star Black

Star Black is a poet, photographer, and collage artist living and working in New York City. She’s released five books of poems, has taught...