Two Observations While Grocery Shopping
1. Two police officers are riding the train with me between Union Square and 6th Avenue. I’m sitting down; one cop, standing next to me, keeps her radio on her belt, right next to me ear. While we’re waiting to leave the station, it squaks ‘Anonymous caller reports a bomb in the station.’
Crrrchchhch. There’s a long pause. I look up, but she doesn’t seem to have listened, or cared, and neither does anyone else. It goes off again: ‘Anonymous caller reports a bomb in the station
Crrrchchchhch
of the Empire State Building.’
Relieved, I resume scanning
The Onion.
2. The butcher at
Ottomanelli & Sons Meat Market, after selling me 3 lbs. of beef and a pound of venison sausages they make onsite and are relatively notorious for, asks me how old I am. ‘25,’ I say. ‘Why?’
‘Well, there’s some liquor in these sausages; I thought I’d have to card you.’
A few minutes later,
Murray’s Cheese Shop is happy to sell me two illegal (raw milk) French cheeses (
1, 2.)
Union Square Wine & Spirits rings up three bottles of Barbera wine and never asks for my I.D.
My plan tonight is to get boozed up on sausages and wreck my grill into a bus full of children.
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TMN TALKS
RoseLee Goldberg is an art historian, curator, and author of Performance Art: From Futurism to the Present. In 2004, she founded PERFORMA, a non-profit arts...