Headlines from May 19, 2011

CDC inspects "Bizarre Bits" collection over the exhibit of a possible smallpox scab from 1876.
Now the most expensive art photo ever: Cindy Sherman's Untitled #96 auctions for $3.89 million.
Contrary to belief, private prisons cost more per inmate--and rarely take the infirm--aka the unprofitable.
"I saw dollar signs, because no one has more pets per capita and more rapture-believing Christians than the good old U.S.A."
A legacy for who? There's nobody left. There is no legacy. Q&A with the engineer-turned-theologian who predicts Judgment Day on Saturday.
TMN's Eric Feezell: When the rapture comes, will you have adequate protective gear to bust through your ceiling while ascending?
Controversial Chinese fertilizer creates watermelons so large they burst open, creating fields of fruity "land mines."
Over-the-counter genetic testing can match offspring to the right sport.
Health benefits, lack of regulation have spawned an unlikely--and booming--market for human breast milk.
Cannes bans Von Trier over Hitler remarks; the director says he just wanted to talk about this shit.
Times invites readers to play doctor, guess the diagnosis, feed their hypochondria.
Scotland Yard refuses to release unredacted Ripper files: revealing 19th-century informants could dissuade snitches today.
I regret to inform you that my wedding to Captain Von Trapp has been canceled.
2012 Olympic torch to pass within a one-hour journey of 95% of UK residents.
Muslims in France should fear their Socialist leaders being accused of rape because it benefits Le Pen.
Worst of the worst from the French press (note: in French).
Five short takes (in English): Are French women more tolerant of sexual misconduct?
"The paradox of power" shows power making people hypocrites--round-up of clever lab experiments.
Cohorts have long been awed by what teammate Janko Tipsarevic calls "the switch," Djokovic's ability to transition overnight from lighthearted to hyperfocused.
Long read: Iraq now is stable enough for hot-money cowboys to become very rich.
New Niemann: The EPA's logo shows a conspiracy to traumatize Tom Selleck.
Simic: Libraries' slow disappearance is a tragedy; the internet is not their replacement.
Mark Twain recalls writing a biography of Satan in Sunday school.
We need your guidance on world peace. Also I need a new girlfriend. Messages sent to Gliese 581d, nearest Earth-like planet.
Chart: Most common words in horoscopes.
Photos of tourists posing in the manner of other tourists taking photos.
Action Bronson is rap for adults and Ghostface fans--adults who eat capers, get stoned, stay fun.
Videos: Action Bronson's cooking show.
And for 2011's worst PowerPoint slide winner... (see also, odd trees).