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Headlines for 29 March 2006

New York’s currently: watching the wheels

 White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card resigns, replaced by longtime Bush aide Joshua Bolten, a “policy geek” who also plays in a band called Deficit Attention Disorder.

 [Bush] has also defined “the bolten” as a new unit of Washington measurement. It is the smallest staff change possible short of doing nothing at all.

 Israeli election wins—Kadima coming in first, Labor second—mean support for continued West Bank withdrawal.

 Today’s ToB action! Zadie Smith versus Uzodinma Iweala! Judged by Karl Iagnemma!

 Proposed German citizenship exam for foreigners is so difficult that many believe German university students might not pass it.

 Moussaoui offered to testify against himself in exchange for better prison conditions.

 All of a sudden, my girlfriend got really interested in college basketball. My mom started calling for updates. I got a stomachache.

 Total eclipse of the sun prompts tourists to flock to Africa, the rest of us to hum that song.

 Nanny hit by truck on Upper East Side while trying to save choking baby.

 European video game executive has trouble holding on to his exotic car collection.

 Reagan Sec. of Defense Caspar Weinberger dies, age 88.

 Putin is a plagiarist, as is a 10-year-old Dutch girl.

 Grits are only as good as you make them, and here’s how to make them really well.

 When the EPA wanted the Defense Department to curb use of a toxic chemical that was seeping into the nation’s water supplies, it prompted a legal battle, but no action.

 Henry Rollins and Mark Twain are not so different.

 “Remember, these people are on hold. The fewer words the better.” Coaching the actors who voice prerecorded telephone announcements.

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Headlines for March 2006
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