Headlines: June 2006 - The Morning News

This sufficed until the Middle Ages, when Aquinas translated a number of menus into Latin and the first really good oyster bars opened. Woody Allen on the philosophers’ delights.

The 27 worst Family Feud answers ever.

Build your own Orgone Accumulator. (Your own what?)

Video: Scientology orientation video.

Headlines for Friday, June 23, 2006

New York’s currently: held together by ibuprofen

Thousands of financial records scanned for terrorism links in secret federal program.

House approves permanent tax cut on inherited estates, plus new pork-veto power for Bush.

Senate rejects Democrats’ call for withdrawal of U.S. troops from Iraq.

Mexico’s drug cartels “step up their game” with increased violence.

The search for Mandela’s buried gun.

Drugs found in Home Depot furniture five times in one week.

FBI arrests seven in Miami allegedly plotting to attack the Sears Tower.

Prison shoot-out after federal agents try to arrest guards on charges of drugs-for-sex swaps.

Japan’s baby shortage explained by lack of sex between adults.

Los Angeles overdue for major earthquake.

Despite protests and poisons, Brazilian insects are a part of life in the South.

Famous musicians on the sex-offenders list should not post erotic fiction about teenagers.

Superman transcends plot. We retell his tales because we wish he were here, real, to keep us safe.

Walking around in Europe without poles earns “a silly look.”

Kinko’s manager hopes child stays missing a little longer.

Today in TMN’s Digest, Sarah Hepola on the week in videos.

Strawberries bind families together.

Photos of a single brown dress worn daily for a year.

Amateur fight videos multiply on the web.

Extremely weird exercise videos. (See also, two zillion punk and hardcore videos.)

Operation Shockless and Awful: How much traction can intentionally bad movies gain on YouTube?

How to fold paper so it pops open as you unfold it, or build a diving helmet.

David Bowie expert relates 50 little-known “facts” about the singer.

What happens to Manhattan’s sewage.

The Hitler vs. Coulter quiz.

Headlines for Thursday, June 22, 2006

New York’s currently: trying to tan indoors

Congressmen making too much money too close to their earmarked projects have investigators sniffing for corruption.

Pentagon distributes 74-page briefing book to Congress offices to show them how to spin the war in Iraq. One way: Say WMDs have been found.

Iraq’s Interior Ministry reports dozens of factory workers—many thought to be Shiite—were abducted from buses north of Baghdad yesterday.

Seven Marines, Navy medical corpsman charged with murder of Iraqi civilian.

Teenagers with backpack air monitors prove going outside really is good for you.

Summer camp directors ask campers to not blog about sneaking out after lights-out.

How the Taliban reemerged, and what’s gone wrong in Afghanistan—a checklist.

A list of fictional expletives.

Photos: Before and after Katrina in southern Mississippi.

Ms. Sedaris lives in a small apartment in the West Village with a collection of plaster meats, a few stuffed squirrels, books on skin disorders, some plastic layer cakes…

Welcome to the Esther Mason Dinosaur Museum.

It’s been a messy business since Sneha Philip went missing Sept. 10, 2001 in Lower Manhattan.

Hollywood unhappy with 12-minute bootleg version of Oliver Stone’s World Trade Center.

Al Qaeda reveals identity of 20th hijacker, terrorism expert likens the move to a B-grade crime movie.

We’re at 450 gay animal species—and still counting.

Uncounted members of endangered giant panda species found living in wild, too cute for captivity.

“Earworms” are the songs you can’t get out of your head; here are the most infectious, and ways to eradicate them.

Radiohead fans smoke expensive smelling weed.

Home makeover shows would prefer you not display the Rodin.

Rowdy Roddy Piper finds out They Live… on the internet.

Headlines for Wednesday, June 21, 2006

New York’s currently: a wonderful place to lose kids

Iraqis say U.S. soldiers, found in “insurgent hotbed,” were tortured and beheaded, then booby-trapped.

Soldiers’ families upset to learn news first from media, not military.

Op: $135 million for Klimt’s “Adele Bloch-Bauer I” is a deal if you keep A-Rod in mind.

Story of the stolen Sidekick leads to arrest, humiliation, military reprimands.

Leading Saddam Hussein defense lawyer abducted and killed in Baghdad.

Kerry says he’s not under pressure to withdraw his exit proposal; over his shoulder, Dodd gives a wink.

Republicans shelve immigration in-fighting for the fall.

High-tech cheating devices injure competing Chinese students.

Clearance turf wars in D.C. hinge on dueling polygraph tests.

Arkansas Christians gradually adapt to Wal-Mart’s imported Jews.

The Devil Wears Prada: New York’s feel-good indictment of the summer and apparently Gay Talese’s new favorite film.

Beauty products for hot months in Manhattan.

Homeless children barred from checking out books from Indiana library.

Terrific before and after the Greenpoint warehouse fire, by Thomas Brodin.

Pressure-washing tips so you can avoid destroying your back deck. See also, top 10 coolest bbq grills.

International customs for traveling businesspeople.

In TMN’s Digest, Rosecrans Baldwin on this week’s Mp3s.

Weather across Georgia will be perfect. Absolutely perfect. You know why. The 700 Club does the weather report.

New progressive journal, Democracy, launches online and on newsstands.

One hundred awesome music videos available on YouTube.

Artist Dan Price, as seen on TMN, heads on world tour with a camera.

Khoi Vinh’s Blockwriter, for writers who paste too much.

Whales slap flatulent prey.

Headlines for Tuesday, June 20, 2006

New York’s currently: the Criterion edition of your city

American soldiers missing in Iraq discovered dead.

In Iraq, three U.S. soldiers are charged with murder of detainees, whom they reportedly released before killing them.

Japan will withdraw its troops from Iraq—the deployment was always unpopular, and many thought it unconstitutional.

Following violent weekend in which six were killed, National Guard sent to patrol New Orleans.

Supreme Court sticks to current wetlands protection, even in places that aren’t really wet.

Robert Birnbaum on the week in books.

A breakdown of popular supplements, their believed health benefits, and how effective they really are.

McDonald’s buys a way into the hearts of the French by using only French products—except for the cheese.

Nestle buys Jenny Craig; Lauder cosmetics king buys Klimt.

Getty Trust to return 21 disputed works to Italy.

The Pianolina tone “game”—addictive and confusing.

Angelina Jolie turning into cat lady but with babies instead of cats.

Under an unusual agreement, a pigeon-advocacy group has been allowed to scatter corn in a corner of the square for 10 minutes at 7:30 every morning, then leave.

Teddy bear U.S.B drive great for geeks, terrifying for children.

Technology can turn just about anything—plastics, animal parts, anything really—into oil.

Seatless car lets wheelchair users roll in the back and drive away.

After getting their free eye surgery, Naval cadets decide they want to fly planes rather than drive submarines. (Thanks Paul!)

Pentagon classifies homosexuality as a disorder, though that probably depends on how you’re doing it.

Mp3: Average Christian Against Satanic Temptations.

Headlines for Monday, June 19, 2006

New York’s currently: conditioning its lair

U.S. urges South American countries to keep Chavez out of the Security Council.

Huge bogs of Iraq’s “black oil” pumped into mountain valleys and reservoirs, then torched.

North Korea reported closer to missile test; Prosecutor demands death penalty for Hussein.

Toyota advertises its Scion to eight-year-olds.

Why do crocodiles cry when they encounter food? Questions from the entrance exam for Chinese civil servants.

New Suskind book says al-Qaeda was 45 days from attacking New York’s subways with lethal gas.

How to make a homemade air conditioner.

Stanford professor sues James Joyce’s estate.

Half of working illegal immigrants collect paychecks from mainstream companies, though work-site enforcement operations are rare.

The nation’s entertainment state, visually mapped.

What David Sedaris said and learned at Princeton.

Reality has become “too awesome” for astronomical artists overwhelmed by NASA’s progress.

Homosexuality not as an aberration, but as an evolutionary necessity.

Details behind Wikipedia’s “anyone can edit this story” policy when “anyone” means something else.

You can still call the New York Public Library with most any question, nine-to-six on weekdays.

Highlights from 10 years at Slate.

Questions answered now that, as of yesterday, Paul McCartney is 64.

One hundred reasons to love comics.

Mothers consistently rank their own babies’ feces as less revolting than others’.

Martha Stewart’s new magazine Blueprint picked apart for luscious fonts.

Want to overthrow your government with international aid? Get a good marketing plan.

TMN’s John Warner and Kevin Guilfoile on literary fame and famine.

Saudi female bloggers unveil opinions, draw attention of censors.

Probably not inspired by The Simpsons, Australian army called upon to fight toads.

The Impulsive Buy—putting the “ew” into product review.

Landscape architects as landscapes.

Video: Three-year-old chooses NewsHour with Jim Lehnrer theme for birthday party.

Headlines for Friday, June 16, 2006

New York’s currently: combining them in all kinds of different weird ways

Supreme Court reverses to give police raids more latitude, says evidence gathered in “no-knock” searches is allowable.

Yet Democrats don’t need as many House seats. In 1994, Republicans needed at least 40. The Democrats’ magic number is 15.

The ousting of William J. Jefferson—hoping to profit from G.O.P. scandals, Democrats must distance their own.

Shoe bomber attacks the same Baghdad mosque where 90 were killed in April bombing.

Justice official says Iraq’s prisons are run by Shiite militias, asks that prisoners not be transferred to their control.

As a joke, Williamsburg, Brooklyn, man puts treehouse up for rent, and receives more than 30 offers.

Photos show on-duty Compton School Police sleeping in squad cars.

School employees used an inch-square hole punch until each and every offending photo was gone, leaving an unmistakable hole in every yearbook.

A re-creation of the musical dialogue from Jeffrey Eugenides’s The Virgin Suicides.

Soccer balls that represent every country in the World Cup.

He was “going to look for Lieutenant Onoda, a panda, and the abominable snowman, in that order.”

U.S. Catholic bishops vote to reword mass to better match the original Latin.

DNA testing available for Chinese who want to prove Confucius as an ancestor.

Edible bioplastic made from cornstarch and the dreams of Australian hippies.

Starter-interrupt device reminds your car when its payment is due.

Sarah Hepola on the week in videos.

Following unexpected surgery, designer Joe Kral needs your help.

“Unwelcome attention” remark by Economist writer prompts Jay-Z to boycott Cristal, advocate Krug and Dom.

Jacob the Jeweler arrested in connection to Detroit gang’s money laundering scheme.

Video: Three instructional videos, spliced together.

Headlines for Thursday, June 15, 2006

New York’s currently: a good year for the roses

Your tax dollars at work: House G.O.P. forces fake debate, the result of which will be a non-amendable resolution that the U.S. won’t waver in the war on terror.

Bush to turn 140,000 square miles of the Pacific Ocean into the world’s largest marine sanctuary.

Iraqi government will offer amnesty to insurgents, including those who’ve only attacked U.S. troops.

Key documents seized in Zarqawi raid provide the “upper hand” against al Qaeda, says Iraq’s national security advisor.

Bus attack in Sri Lanka leaves 61 dead; Tamil Tigers deny responsibility, government responds with air strikes.

Following rash of violence, Hamas wants restoration of Israel cease-fire.

Katrina frauders milk FEMA for $1.4 billion in champagne, Girls Gone Wild dvds, and diamonds.

Local cabbies make good, help collar Manhattan stabber.

Matthew Baldwin explains the history of jokes.

The luckiest boy in the world is the one whose mother argues in court for his circumcision because it hurts when he wears jeans.

You might want to sit down. I wouldn’t sit like that. You’re going to develop a real nice case of lumbosacral strain, and it’s going to hurt for the rest of your life.

Pentagon tastes revamped meals-ready-to-eat; chicken pesto pasta proves a favorite.

Video: Mentos and Diet Coke, the symphony.

Sushi supply in Portland, Ore., Chicago, and other cities controlled by cult leader Sun Myung Moon.

Your parents are tattooed too: New study shows rebellious personalities may be genetic.

Cats to compete in reality TV show in New York.

Andrew Womack on the week in mp3s.

Heroin additive that shuts down respiratory system blamed for 130 deaths in Detroit and Chicago.

Buying the smallpox genome through mail order isn’t as difficult as you might think.

The newest piece of equipment in the fight against bird flu is the T-shirt mask.

Achievements in creative science: 1) evolution; 2) string theory; 3) the World’s Fair ScienceBlog.

Video: Henry Rollins’s love letter to Ann Coulter.

Headlines for Wednesday, June 14, 2006

New York’s currently: unable to tell the difference between the commercials and the real songs

Israeli missile strike kills two Islamic militants, eight civilians.

Israel denies responsibility for Palestinian picnicker deaths—Human Rights Watch finds evidence to the contrary.

The first day of the Baghdad security crackdown: clashes between security forces and gunmen (no casualties), a pair of car bombs (two dead).

After arrest for footage that appeared to show her shaking a baby, nanny sues hidden-camera maker.

Tourist from Texas stabbed on Manhattan C train.

Inventor unveils flag that can wave itself.

The founding fathers were such pomosexuals: an argument for the American flag as work of modern art.

What the Williamsburgh Savings Bank meant to Brooklyn’s children: dentist appointments and superheroes.

South America’s indigenous Aymara give new meaning to the term “backwards culture.”

Stephen Hawking seeks to freak us out, says we must leave Earth as soon as possible—or face being wiped out.

“I see that commercial and I realize that I can catch cancer.” Hole-in-throat guy freaks out New York smokers—especially wrinkly ones.

New study indicates coffee may protect alcohol drinkers from liver damage.

It reads: “This Is America. When Ordering Please Speak English.” Philadelphia restaurant in trouble over sign.

Nascar gets nutritional.

What’s wrong with “best doctor” lists.

Video: Fall-Out Boy does “Love Will Tear Us Apart,” many will be upset.

Applying literary “stylometry” to works of art.

Donald Hall, American poet noted for “deceptively simple” style, to be Library of Congress’s 14th poet laureate.

How Stephen Joyce is defending his grandfather’s works from literary scholars.

Steinbeck family wins back control of 10 books.

Game: Tron lightcycles; kiss productivity goodbye.

Headlines for Tuesday, June 13, 2006

New York’s currently: learning how to lie with statistics

Following Hamas’s attack on Fatah Gaza headquarters, hundreds of Abbas loyalists swarm, set fire to Hamas-controlled parliament, cabinet buildings.

Though 2005 statistics show violent crime nationwide at its highest in 15 years, NYC’s crime rate “bucked the trend,” excepting the 15 percent rise in murders so far this year.

Jordanian intelligence department reveals its crucial role in discerning Zarqawi’s whereabouts.

Jihadist web site names Zarqawi’s replacement—Abu Hamza al-Muhajir—who many believe is a foreign fighter, like Zarqawi.

Series of car bombs explode in northern Iraq, killing 20.

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Three arrested in beating of Kevin Aviance, who has been released from the hospital.

The Hard Rock Cafe and Casino, where altars and other items from closed churches meet their final resting place.

Developers plan to toss antique fire trucks and space shuttle replicas into a man-made lake in Clute, Tex.—to the delight of scuba divers.

Video: Danny Nutter needs a job. (But what will potential employers think?)

Canine companions are finding everything from cancer to cows in heat.

How to bring Bill Clinton back to the White House.

Fitzmas is cancelled: Karl Rove won’t be charged in the Plame leak case.

World Cup death watch now stands at nine.

Media research project on the World Cup in the era of globalization.

Video: Massive meteor collision simulation rivals anything Al Gore will tell you about the greenhouse effect.

Girl, 16, sneaks off to meet Palestinian MySpace boyfriend, but can’t make past Jordan.

Flying without an I.D. is easier than it would seem.

Gibby Haynes: “The funny thing about regret is that it’s better to regret something you have done than to regret something you haven’t.” Lots more regrets here.

Design Observer redesigns, joins the Deck.