New York’s currently: got the President somewhere

 UN deadline comes and goes, and still in Darfur homes are burned, women raped, villagers killed.

 Russian authorities say they won’t use force to rescue hundreds held hostage. (See photos.)

 500,000 in Florida told to evacuate before Hurricane Frances arrives on Charley’s heels.

 More than 16,000 New Wave photos.

 Democrat Zell Miller straw-mans Kerry at Republican Convention, and lives to see himself fact-checked.

 Bush sues to stop 527 campaigns from helping Kerry, accusing campaign of complicity.

 We’re all so uptight that when we let loose, it’s the best sex you’ve ever had. TMN’s Choire Sicha discovers what, precisely, makes gay Republicans so darn hot.

 Some caviars banned for export to protect sturgeon populations.

 We want the truth: Did George W. Bush actually win a varsity letter in cheerleading from Yale?

 Do countries spy on their allies? Yes. Does anyone care? No, not really.

 Tell him I curse his prostate. Roger Ebert and Vincent Gallo join hands to hash out The Brown Bunny.

 Don’t blame al Qaeda for the Russian hostage situation; blame Putin.

 If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat? Quotes by comedians and humorists, including John Cleese.

 Photos of Olympic ping-pong players.

 Matthew Baldwin’s “Tricks of the Trade” now has a site where you can submit your own insider’s knowledge.

 Plan to rebuild Penn Station goes off the rails.

 Attention David Hasselhoff: You are nothing without your robot car! Nothing!

 And we are grateful for the person yesterday who donated to TMN.