Federal health officials drop view that obesity is not an illness, open doors for Medicare to cover weight-loss treatments.

 Residents of northwest L.A. evacuated, fire grabs homes and more than 11,000 acres.

 I’m not an Iraqi citizen. Things President Bush is not, from the horse’s mouth.

 North Korea has produced six nuclear weapons in the last 20 months, analysts believe, and is possibly making more despite talks of shutting down.

 White New Yorkers more likely to live longer than blacks, have daughters who smoke, teenagers who booze.

 Cape Town residents fight prostitutes with ogling.

 New York Times apologizes for not protesting Bush’s WMD claims, though no sorries for Calvin Klein fluffjob.

 At least 75 children die in Indian school fire.

 Dreams crushed when Virginia judge rules teenagers must be accompanied by a parent or grandparent if attending teenage nudist camp.

 Photo: Van Halen takes care in taping his guitars.

 Their music was brutal, degenerate, loud—amplified by maximum distortion and feedback, and terribly, terribly bad. Model of obituary prose for New York Dolls’ Arthur Kane.

 Gerald Ford and Hubert Humphrey on why we actually need a Vice President.

 Friday game: Play with punctuation!

 Nobody is going to live forever. We’re all going to die. Interview with 15-year-old Palestinian who almost blew himself up.

 Part II of The New Republic’s excellent “The Case Against George W. Bush.”

 Video: Classic music videos rendered in text.

 Airport officials sneakily convinced to admit to gas problems over the intercom.

 Hand claps and Coldplay sample for the two who supported The Morning News yesterday. (And the one from this morning!)