New York’s currently: one week from a whole bag of nuts

 Senate Intelligence Committee urges dismantling the CIA, exceeding the 9/11 Committee’s (or Bush or Kerry’s) suggestions.

 Hollywood stunt pilots to snag hunk of Sun falling to the Earth.

 Hillary says: Give New York the fricking money it deserves to prevent terrorism, you self-important, grandstanding jerks. (Don’t worry, Bloomberg’s pissed too.)

 Dole says Kerry didn’t bleed enough in Vietnam, while Podesta reminds us Bush got his teeth cleaned in the Guard.

 TMN’s Choire Sicha says Pam Anderson is the Jean-Paul Sartre of the US Weekly set, though she’s only one of many deadly women writing.

 British celebrities compose notes-to-self.

 Despite legacy of accepting suffering, Japanese learn to want happy all the time, while Americans still resent knowing they’re going to die.

 Central Park Film Festival begins this week. Almost as important, J.Crew now hand-delivers preppy goods to the Hamptons.

 Op: Whatever we’re doing in Iraq, it’s a mess, people are dying, and it’s certainly not to be called war.

 Details behind the snatching of Munch’s “Scream.” (See also, history of famous art thefts.)

 Italian cuisine guru Marcella Hazan eats at Olive Garden, leaves very disappointed.

 3.3 million people dead from war in the Congo over the last decade: great multimedia reader’s guide to a long story. (See also, recent history.)

 Game: Scarecrows and nasty flappy things.

 Trials begin for suspected terrorists in Guantanamo, and Abu Ghraib’s Graner.

 How did George W. Bush pronounce the name of Abu Ghraib prison? Quiz on the administration’s 1300 days.

 Many bows, flutterings, beer-sotted notes to the weekend’s two beautiful people who supported TMN with a few dollars.