No Yellow Jerseys Here The thighs may be as thick, the spandex just as tight, the stench of grease and melting energy bars just as rank—but the 2005 Cycle Messenger World Championships is a far cry from the Tour de France. A story and photo gallery from the race.

The Non-Expert: Fabled Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week Andrew Womack explains why it’s best to avoid serial threesomers, where the West Village begins and ends, how to build your résumé, and why you shouldn’t drive. All using goats.

Guide to New York Jargon You’re probably familiar with ‘Fugget about it,’ ‘Assa matta pa you,’ or the timeless ‘Fuck Off.’ But the Editors felt it was time to update New York’s jargon, and have compiled a list for the contemporary dweller.

The Guilfoile-Warner Papers: A Week Away In 2001 Kevin Guilfoile and John Warner lampooned the new president in their book, My First Presidentiary. Now, with the real possibility of four more Bush years, they discuss the issues facing today’s voters. This week: the possible effects of such last-minute topics as lesbians, pejoratives, and conservatives vs. conservatives.