Headlines: August 2003 - The Morning News

When people ask us what the album’s going to sound like, before we’ve even recorded it, we have absolutely no idea. For us, it has to be completely finished before we can tell them: It sounds exactly like the last one. Hilarious interview with Mogwai.

Neal Pollack, truthfully?

The Martian encounter, in photos. Also, Mars rising behind Elephant Rock.

The wonderful comic-book legacy of Jack Kirby thrives.

Photos of a Great White breaching. Also, movies of a Great White breaching: 1, 2.

Michael Jackson to open Neverland Ranch for a party ‘complete with dinner, magicians, games, and a tractor-trailer full of stuffed animals.’

Invention time: Rocking-Horse Toilet, ‘O’ Tissue Ring.

FAQ on Chilean Sea Bass.

An introduction to the strange fiction of Harry Stephen Keeler.

Headlines for Tuesday, August 26, 2003

New York’s currently: the essential conclusion of most good arguments

U.S. postwar deaths now equal Iraq war fatalities: 138 on both sides of May 1st.

Mafiosi are nearly asexual, have rare 40-second quickies, says Mafia-sex psychoanalyst.

U.S. North Korea envoy Jack Pritchard resigned Friday, days before six-party talks (which start tomorrow) in Beijing.

Burmese Prime Minister resigns, hopefully paving way for Aung San Suu Kyi to be freed. Related: Paul Kagame voted President in Rwanda, first democratic elections since 1994.

Gallery of New York City rooftops in use.

I think it sounds bad. It hurts my head like a hundred dogs. Third-graders review indie rock albums.

Adam Gopnik on anti-anti-Americans in France, and embarrassing George Washington’s mother.

TMN’s Dennis Mahoney composes Robert Frost Greeting Cards.

For modern living, and modern driving: EphemeraNow.

Contemplation of Letterman’s retirement.

Yom Kippur is not a reason to party, and we apologize.

Why pay for cooking classes when you can bone up on your knife skills, learn all about stocks and sauces, or roast a pig in an open pit, for free!

Overheard conversations in New York.

Americans eat 30 pounds of cheese a year, and why the weather matters when forecasting dairy prices.

The robin, cute and harmless, becomes a pelican, one of man’s greatest foes.

Jack Handey on sex-changes and tattoos.

Headlines for Monday, August 25, 2003

New York’s currently: cooling down

Defrocked priest convicted of sexual abuse killed in prison.

Newsweek poll says most Americans do not want Bush elected to a second term.

U.S. crime rate lowest since 1973.

Jack Beatty, ‘The War After the War.’

Pete Sampras to officially retire at U.S. Open – at age 32.

Australia: Will ‘sex’ lose all meaning? Related: Blair intervened?

New research: Drink red wine to live forever. Closer, anyway.

The Showering Dragons, an opera by The Badger King, showing in Portland, Oregon. Very highly recommended.

Don’t miss Mars on Wednesday, when it’s its closest to Earth in 60,000 years.

Bonus: a magazine about love, music, fashion, croissants, and life in the city.

Marimekko and its beautiful textiles. Worth a weekend project.

Cows bred with human genes used in research to develop human antibodies for anthrax, smallpox, and botulism.

The welcome return of iceberg lettuce.

Fonzie’s Guide to Being Cool.

Headlines for Friday, August 22, 2003

New York’s currently: home for the pony girl

White House to exempt thousands of old plants and refineries from installing new anti-pollution devices.

10,000 French ‘most probably’ dead from heat stroke, says government.

Remembrance of Kirk Varnedoe by Blake Gopnik.

Taco Bell runs voting-poll in California with, yes, tacos. Related: Campaign begins to recall Bush.

James T. Downey wants J.K. Rowling to win the Nobel Prize.

Alabama Supreme Court overrules Chief Justice Roy Moore, orders his 5,280-pound rock removed; Moore tells supporters (who that morning were blowing rams’ horns), ‘To do my duty, I must obey God!’

How to recognize corked wines.

Malkovich knows squat about terry cloth, Ripert likes The Restaurant, and Baldwin don’t know diddly about Chechnya.

Schedule for the Howl! festival of East Village arts. Related: Tales of sexual devotion: A Shield of Paris.

National Geographic’s slice of underground-New York.

‘The Books that Made the Writers,’ with excellent response by Tom Wolfe. Related: Play interactive story, or see what your writing says about your genitals.

Ice climbing photography.

Interview with Carl Elliott on bioethics and Walker Percy.

Don’t interrupt me when I am at the machine!

Video: Models stand in front of camera, and do nothing. Game: The Office Space.

Headlines for Thursday, August 21, 2003

New York’s currently: gonna make me sweat

U.S. warned a week ago of Baghdad U.N. bombing.

Former radical fugitive Kathy Boudin, convicted for her role the 1981 armored-car robbery in Rockland County, N.Y., granted parole.

Domino sugar factory on East River to cease much of its operations.

The Internet Museum of Flexi/Cardboard/Oddity Records, including the Sassy Magazine flexi-disc of R.E.M.’s version of Syd Barrett’s ‘Dark Globe.’

‘And my dark side, my shadow, my lower companion is now in the back room blowing up balloons for kids’ parties.’ Quotes from Gary Busey, with accompanying commentary. Related: Quigley, the movie. [via tt]

David Bowie previews new album in Poughkeepsie, N.Y.

The headline you never wanted to see: ‘Schwarzenegger Vows Not To Raise Taxes.’

‘When the Lebanese frontrunner was eliminated in the semifinals last week, angry fans in the audience pelted each other with chairs or anything else they could find, and the two remaining contestants fainted. Scores of people took to the streets in Lebanon to protest.’ American Idol in the Middle East.

Laura Mill viciously rips Chuck Palahniuk’s head off, finds very little.

The boys from Seattle recommend getting high and ending up with a hangover on the appropriately titled ‘Dumb.’ Family.org’s review of Nirvana’s In Utero. More here.

Random Interest: Places in New York that need bathrooms. Ham and Cheese Bar? Chicken Rings? The school lunch menu in Hampshire County. Interview with Campbell Scott. Waiting for Godot: The Interactive Adventure. The secret In-N-Out Burger menu. ‘The Fucking Potato.’ How to lie in Iraq, by Brian Eno. How to levitate. Good reads at the Land-Grant College Review. Happy Anniversary to Heather. Rock stars with their parents in 1971. Will Sergeant of Echo & the Bunnymen is a brilliant eBayer. The Food Section. Magnetbox is chock full of good things.

Headlines for Wednesday, August 20, 2003

New York’s currently: ready for the Nets in Brooklyn

18 killed in Jerusalem suicide bombing; 17 dead in Baghdad U.N. headquarters attack.

Lucky number sold for $280,000 in China.

Bacon-and-egg economics: America’s pork, egg, and beef producers prefer to think the Atkins Diet is not a fad. Related: Christopher Hitchens does not diet.

Like Berlusconi, Italy garners more attention than respect in Western politics.

Renee Zellweger to receive $225,000 for every kilo she gains to star in the Bridget Jones sequel.

How Purdue Pharma spent more than $500 million to make OxyContin the nation’s top-selling narcotic.

Nocturnal urban darkness has been the norm in history (ask the International Dark-Sky Association). [ via wl ]

Pirates are very scurvy and very mean and they also drink lots of rum. Things We Have Learned (About Pirates).

When a man lives in your backyard, it’s reassuring to remember how much you liked The Afghan Whigs.

Library of Ragtime sheet music.

The Lie: You are dumb and weird. The Truth: You are weird and dyslexic. Lies perpetuated by public education.

Portraits by Jason Tlush.

Though short fiction is American literature’s bloated tyrant, in the U.K. the short story needs saving.

Interview with music video directors Spike Jonze, Michel Gondry, and the great Chris Cunningham.

Wonderful essay on Coleridge by Barbara Everett.

Headlines for Tuesday, August 19, 2003

New York’s currently: the William Golding Girls

Explosion rocks U.N. headquarters in Baghdad.

Liberian government and rebels sign peace deal.

14 European hostages freed after six months in Sahara.

Downing Street authorized ‘substantial rewrite’ of Iraqi weapons dossier.

Senior French health official resigns following reports that heat wave death toll has reached 5,000.

The U.S. has the highest incarceration rate in the world.

‘Wee didde receive youre prettye Verses goode Masterre William through the hands of oure Lorde Chamberlayne ande wee doe complemente thee onne theyre greate excellence.’ ‘Fakes, Forgeries, and Facsimiles’ exhibition opens at the Folger Shakespeare Library.

Officials working on free insurance for $70 MetroCards.

Ontario power consumption nears red zone on Monday. Related: Blackout to cost NYC over $1 billion. Related: Make a blackout/disaster safety kit. (Add to this a regular, corded telephone.)

Smallpox vaccinations from 25 to 75 years ago probably still effective.

Real-life S&M librarian.

Leper in the Backfield, The Boatjacking of Supership 79, and other such movies you may remember Troy McClure from.

First Segway thief gets busted.

Paul Newman, he’s still HUD.

‘Thanks for caring. I mean that sincerely, bro’.’ Journey, now.

David Mason: site design by Agnieszka Gasparska.

Headlines for Monday, August 18, 2003

New York’s currently: squeezing juice

U.S. abandons plans to control Iraq’s oil industry.

Naval exercises scheduled in the Coral Sea, including ‘nonpermissive boarding,’ to send signal to North Korea

Liberian peace deal expected for today.

Michelin-starred Irish chef survived Brooklyn jail by cooking for the mob.

In 1962, Vatican instructed Catholic bishops worldwide to cover up cases of sexual abuse or risk being booted from the Church.

In the darkness we could have speculated aloud on what was going on, but New Yorkers are not that vulgar. Blackouts, a Rite of New York, by Frank McCourt.

Free journalism training courses, provided by the BBC.

American boys and girls drink twice as much soda pop as milk.

Paintings by Masaru Shichinohe.

91 percent of Christians believe in the Virgin Birth.

The Guardian launches Kick A(ll) A(gricultural) S(ubsidies).

Brightness in North America before and after the blackout.

Countries that no longer exist.

Of course it makes sense to have the exhumed skeleton of your infant twin brother for company in your swamp grotto. Review of Nick Cave’s republished novel And The Ass Saw The Angel.

The Unh! Project: A collection of guttural moans.

Headlines for Thursday, August 14, 2003

New York’s currently: pinch-hitting

FRIDAY NOTE: Due to blackout, we are unable to publish today, but service should return on Monday, with Max Power.

Man shoved onto tracks at Union Square yesterday evades oncoming train by rolling into a gully.

Amiri Baraka’s daughter and her friend murdered.

Arms dealer discussed downing U.S. airliners with missiles.

We’ve got advisors: Davis goes with Clinton, Schwarzenegger goes with Buffett.

Upset they didn’t coin metrosexual, the Observer gives us shmomosexuals, somewhat like bears.

Scans from a 1938 Homes & Gardens visit to Hilter’s country home. [ via things ]

Games to join the Spy Academy.

Excellent backgrounders on hot topics, provided by the Economist.

Great video for Mad Lib’s ‘Slim’s Return,’ by one9ine.

You Are Beautiful.

Stills from The Elephant Vanishes, adapted from Haruki Murakami’s book by the astounding Theatre de Complicite.

Frank Prial on the many types of annoying sommeliers.

Choice cuts of online fiction, selected by Oblivio.

Calculating shrews like TLC are the reason many heterosexual men wish they were gay.

The 1911 encyclopedia, now currently out-of-date online.

Movie of interview ruined by cat.

Shabby Classicist on ‘dhoti-style ankle cuffs,’ ‘shurring,’ and other examples of ancient couture.

Headlines for Wednesday, August 13, 2003

New York’s currently: a haunted carnival

Heat wave in Paris has killed 100 in the past eight days. Related: Bodies left unburied in heat-stricken Paris, while a quarter of France’s nuclear power stations are shut down.

Julie Powell, Julia Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking, and where it’s all been recorded.

Bloomberg denies trash pileup, says he will clean it up anyway.

Rebuilding Iraq to require ‘staggering’ sums, says L. Paul Bremer, American administrator.

Gigli pulled in three people per theater this past weekend.

Mel Gibson gets an apology.

Fascinating: Jesus Jones frontman Mike Edwards on the myth of ‘selling out.’

Unabomber wants U.S. government to return pipe bomb and other materials it seized from his cabin.

The obesity epidemic: Nearly one-million overweight U.S. teenagers suffer from a ‘metabolic syndrome’ that makes them unusually prone to diabetes and heart disease.

What’s more, Kathy thinks the CDs belong to a man in his mid- to late-thirties who might live around the neighborhood. Hank Stuever, ‘The Case of the Found CDs’

Florida millionaire leads double life.

Three lost boaters wander onto runway at JFK.

How insects walk on water.

‘This skipping and all that stuff – I’m not used to seeing that stuff,’ he said. Flash mobs start in Austin.

Japan’s best-paid masturbator.

Google has a calculator that can figure out some pretty difficult numbers.

Hong Kong clothing chain removes Nazi-themed clothing from its stores, Coca-Cola comes under fire for swastika-adorned robot.

Brilliant, full-screen Quicktime VRs of New York City.

Random Interest: The Will Smiths, The Beat is Murder. Choosing the right pasta shape. Floral radiographs. [via you grow girl] Contact lenses cannot really go behind your eye. Small Wonder clips. Vaudeville slang. Countries that no longer exist.

Petition to stop God.

Headlines for Tuesday, August 12, 2003

New York’s currently: planning to recall Dana Tyler

Four killed, dozens injured in two suicide bombings in Israel and the West Bank.

California scrambling to manage recall, an election that includes an ad campaign as a candidate and may cost $66 million.

Charles Taylor resigns, leaving behind war-ruined shell.

According to the Daily News, ‘homo’ is not beyond the pale of print.

Weeki Wachee mermaids face dwindling audiences, algae.

New David Sedaris: The Girl Next Door.

The Different Methods of Defending Oneself with a Walking-Stick or Umbrella when Attacked under Unequal Conditions (Part I)

Notes from a roadie, touring with Sugar Ray.

Photos from the weekend’s Condiment War in ~~Red Hook~~ DUMBO, Brooklyn.

Book Rate, for readers who are averse to reading reviews. Related: DeLillo doesn’t sign copies of Amazons, a sex-comedy he wrote as Cleo Birdwell.

Video of man solving Rubik’s cube in 18 seconds.

Contest of ownership, feuds, and money when the North Carolina Bill of Rights falls into the hands of Connecticut Yankees.

High Noon is the favorite film of U.S. presidents.

Parents ask for advice on baby names, are mocked.

Hera was a little more green than Venus, but only by a little. Athena was very green. They looked cute together. An open letter to the avocado industry.

Headlines for Monday, August 11, 2003

New York’s currently: buttered and creamed

London hits 100 degrees for the first time.

Reduced NYC trash pickup schedules mean garbage is piling up.

Air France pilot says he has a bomb in his shoe, is arrested, flight canceled.

Liberia: The wait for Taylor to step down.

Gregory Hines dies at 57.

Kartoo: Graphical search engine.

G.W. Bush aviator action figure.

Blacklisting judges.

Hubble Telescope sees larger galaxy eating a smaller one.

‘Too much reverence for the founding fathers is unhealthy.’

Cosmonaut marries Texas wife – while in space.

Beware! Beware! The Blob!

NYT’s ‘What They Were Thinking,’ at Lollapalooza.

SoHo lofts in Houston, Texas.

Carrot air with mandarin concentrate and its creator, Ferran Adrià.

Headlines for Friday, August 8, 2003

New York’s currently: margueriffic

Halliburton benefits from close relationship with the Army Corps of Engineers.

California Supreme Court clears the way for recall-madness to sink the golden state.

Bush twists science to push agendas, scientists mad!, report says.

Words that sound dirty, but aren’t.

TMN’s Paul Ford on NPR, talking about Web standards.

Explicit video of Jack White’s finger surgery.

Self-elected Dems senior strategist Gore makes good speech at NYU.

The obese are stronger than the non-obese think, but they are consistently told lies.

The advertising artwork of Dr. Seuss.

Freedom Tobacco offers free lifetime supply of cigarettes to celebrities.

Three days of letters about Evelyn Waugh.

Cop investigated for shooting down a flying chicken.

French rock star charged with French actress’s murder.

STD-ster tracks those nasty rashes in your social network.

Second edition of Everyone Who’s Anyone in Adult Trade Publishing, the be-all crazed-psycho list of literary agents and publishers.

Tibor Fischer really hates Martin Amis’s Yellow Dog.

Flowers for Trinitron. Not related: VR movies of Nebraska.

Headlines for Thursday, August 7, 2003

New York’s currently: way past overcast

Bomb at Jordan embassy in Baghdad kills at least seven, wounds 28.

Schwarzenegger announces decision to run in California.

Did Bush order immunity for oil companies exploiting Iraqi oil?

‘This is the first horse that has been cloned from an adult cell. She has been carrying herself, so the newborn is the twin of the mother that carried the pregnancy.’ Italian scientists, a horse that gave birth to its own clone, and a difficult explanation.

Amputee wannabes, Extreme Makeover, and bioethics: an interview with Carl Elliott, the author of Better Than Well.

The U.S. Criminal Justice System in 360 degrees.

There is an atmosphere of stalemate: the Russians and the rebels can’t negotiate, and neither side can win. Chechnya: A War Russia Loses by Winning.

ASCII music videos, including Van Halen, ZZ Top. [via dominey] Related: Van Halen, reviewed by Julian Cope.

Photos of people scared by a man’s backfiring van.

I had discovered I had cancer and approached it alternatively… Interview with Dirk Benedict (Battlestar Galactica, The A-Team)

Mars coming its closest to Earth in 60,000 years.

Trailer for the new Sofia Coppola movie starring Bill Murray, Lost in Translation.

Vapors inspired the oracle at Delphi.

Not just McDonald’s: More come under fire for fatty menus.

Headlines for Wednesday, August 6, 2003

New York’s currently: so angry about Gigli!

Reverend v. Gene Robinson confirmed as first openly gay bishop in the Episcopal Church by a vote of 62 to 43.

Animated proof that Paul McCartney was replaced with a look-alike in 1966.

Bryant Park falcon gores chihuahua, pigeon-scaring program may be scrapped.

Smoke and dust from Sept. 11 linked to smaller babies born to women who were near the World Trade Center during or after the attack.

North Korea to jointly develop nuclear warheads with Iran, reports Japanese newspaper.

Second lawsuit in a week against the Patriot Act.

Cooking school now free and online at the eGCI.

The American West is no longer for conquerors, or even retirees as moving patterns change with Easterners staying East, and Californians getting out.

In New York it’s fluke, bluefish, porgy, and blackfish, because local fish are the best catch for summer.

Bill Maher has a blog.

Without the envy of non-members, membership ceases to matter. Private clubs boom in New York.

Society has no place for a whistler.

Remembering John Schlesinger, the only director to win Best Picture with an X-rated movie, Elvis Mitchell bemoans the lack of sex in American film.

Larry Flynt asks for a national prayer day, to pray for the death of Bill O’Reilly.

Hundreds of vintage radio shows available as free MP3s.

Magazines: Carter, and The High Hat.

Headlines for Tuesday, August 5, 2003

New York’s currently: a big puddle

Ten killed, 103 wounded in Jakarta hotel bombing.

Approval of gay Episcopalian bishop delayed for some last-minute allegations.

Terror alert issued for common personal devices that may conceal weapons.

Learjet down in Connecticut, two killed.

NASA selects new Mars lander. Related: New Space Show, The Search for Life: Are We Alone at the American Museum of Natural History is awe-inspiring. Narrator Harrison Ford does not appear in old Han Solo outfit.

Bulgari moves from novels to hotels.

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy guys to makeover Jay Leno.

Mick Jagger, Cat Stevens, Warren Beatty, and…ex-husband James Taylor have all been suggested as possibilities. Carly Simon to revel the inspiration behind ‘You’re So Vain’ – but only to one fan.

Film of Van Gogh surfaces?

Vintage Vespa ads. [via wdik]

From 1995 to 1997, he spent $9 million in legal fees, $230,000 on pagers and cellphones, $410,000 on a birthday party. In June 2002, he owed $8,100 to care for his tigers and $65,000 for limos. How Mike Tyson went bankrupt.

Pitchfork unveils new look, new updates!

When Marilyn Monroe died.

And the President goes fishing.