Guides
Tight Wine
We love high-dollar wine, but we don’t love panhandling for it. And while the savvy know a good bottle can be picked up for under 10 bucks, we are not savvy: We are cheapskates. Here, then, are seven reds, four whites, and a rosé—all cheap, all perfect for Solo-cupping.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
- Better Baby Names Bureau (The Non-Expert)
- This Is Not a Eulogy (Profiles)
- The Vanishing Date (Spoofs & Satire)
Also by Claire Miccio
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- 2007
HolidayChristmas Survival Guide forSlackersCultural Warriors (December 21, 2007) - Gift Subscriptions (December 20, 2007)
- The 2007 Good Gift Games (November 28, 2007)
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I work in a wine shop. And while I have learned a great deal about wine, I do not earn a great deal. I can afford to buy none of the wines I taste every week; still, in-store tastings and an occasional free bottle mean I don’t have to. But were I in need of a bottle and left to my last 10 dollars, I’d pick one of these—none of which will break the bank nor strike me blind.
You’re finally done with work and you swear, all you want, all you’ll ever want, is to take off your pants. But first you’d like to pick up a bottle of red to have with your supper. True Red Lot 17 is a fine choice for that. It’s a bright, casual table wine that’s affordable and goes down easy.
As good as it is, in order to discover what you like in wine you have to have some understanding of what’s in what you’re drinking. And so I would like Fenestra even more if its label disclosed which “Rhone style” varietals comprise the blend. Grenache and syrah are the basis of most Rhone reds, so even knowing that would be helpful in figuring out what to try next. Still, at this price it’s kinda hard to stress over the enigma.
Darien Tempranillo Rioja, Spain 2003 $9.99
“Tempranillo” is a grape grown in a few places around the world. It is, however, native to Spain and is usually the flagship varietal—or type of grape—found in most wines of Rioja, a small region in northwestern Spain. Darien is dry and tannic but it didn’t dry my tongue out or make me pucker. If you can, uncork the bottle and let it breathe for 20 minutes or so before drinking. Since you’ve always wondered why this is, here you go: When you let a wine breathe, much of the astringent stuff from the skins and oak melts away and the juice becomes that much more delightful to down.
Las Rocas 2003 Grenacha San Alejandro, Calatatayud, Spain $9.99
Las Rocas is a light, Spanish red best served slightly chilled, especially in the warm, waning hours of the summertime. The juice is straight-up Garnacha Tinta, also known as Grenache Noir, a pale grape that loves the hot sun and is commonly grown throughout France and Spain.
In general I prefer reds to whites. But come summertime this preference isn’t so hot, especially if you like to laze around outdoors. When red wine gets above room temperature it loses its structure and can taste as wrong as an unripe banana. But since Las Rocas is happy to hang out in the beer cooler, it’s a porch-sitter’s boon. Or if you have no porch, then maybe just a parking lot.
Secret de Campane Vin d’ Pays, France $6.99
If only one of the wines on here ever makes it home with you, make it Secret de Campane. This Grenache-Cinsault blend is just so soft and pleasing that even if you think that these wine recommendations are arriving directly out of from my ass (they’re not but I know that feeling—I recently read a review of an “ethereal” 2001 German Riesling that made reference to dewy underbrush), after a glass of this you won’t care what I said. Secret de Campane is light-bodied, pairs well with pizza, but is still lovely on its own.
Gnarly Head Old Vine Zinfandel, Lodi, California $9.99
This wine’s knotted, head-pruned vines date back to the early twentieth-century and produce a thick, dark, somewhat spicy wine with a scabby, dried blood hue. There is less of that fresh, ripe fruit taste common to zinfandels and instead more wood, dirt, and pepper.
For every one of you that’s turned off by a beverage review that boasts dirt and scabs, there’s a sommelier out there who’s writhing in ecstasy. Alllllriiiight.
Tinto Lena 2003 Spain $8.99
When making sangria there’s no reason to buy expensive wine, since you’re not really going to be able to taste it. However, buying shitty, boxed wine is an equally dumb move because that you will be able to taste. Tinto Lena is perfect for sangria because it’s an indistinct dry red sold in liters, a convenient volume when you consider you’ll be Solo-cupping it from a scrubbed wastebin later that evening.
Pomegranate Wine, Ararat Valley, Armenia $9.99
Even for wine, this stuff is intense. It basically tastes like that bottled pomegranate juice—but sweeter, more viscous, and, um, fortified. As for how easy it goes down, I can say somewhere between “young port” and “dessert wine.” But if you chill it awhile in the fridge, the wine tightens up and makes an awesomely tangy apertif.
What’s really cool about wine made from pomegranates—they do their thing differently than grapes, so it upends a lot of people’s expectations about what wine is supposed to be.
If there were a wine sports drink, this would be it: Vinho Verde, or “green wine,” is an absolute thirst quencher. It’s a young wine—usually white—from Portugal that doesn’t dry out your tongue and tastes like fresh grapes. Casa de Villa Verde cranes a bit toward sweetness but is not at all sugary—just light, fresh, and gulpable.
Feravino 2000 Pinot Blanc, Croatia $9.99
My boss at the shop once described Pinot Blanc as “the girl next door.” I had no idea what he was talking about, since at the time I had never tried a Pinot Blanc. So I masked my ignorance with a chuckle and continued to tinker with bottles in an effort to appear busy. Weeks later, though, I was given a bottle to take home.
It’s satisfying but I couldn’t really say why. There are no eccentricities; no citrus, grass, or olives to speak of. It’s dry but not bone-dry; crisp but only somewhat, and it isn’t a heavyweight nor is it necessarily light. Given how particular wines can get, pinot blanc is pretty non-descript but totally doable which, on some nights, is just fine by me.
Oh man. I think I just got what he meant.
Indaba Sauvignon Blanc 2004, South Africa $8.99
I tend to stay quiet during tastings. There are three reasons for this: 1) I don’t really know what I’m doing and I don’t want the wine reps to know that; 2) I’d rather try to enjoy the wine and figure out what’s good about it—for me; and 3) I’m drunk.
Still, when we were tasting Indaba I unleashed the lamest line ever: “Mmm…pineappley!” As silly as I felt, there was some truth in my exclamation. Indaba is, indeed, a mouthful of tropical fruit.
Pepi Chardonnay 2003, California $9.99
With a name like this, Pepi better be glad its wine doesn’t suck—otherwise they’d be out of business. (I like to accent the name differently each time I suggest it to a customer. “Oh but have you quaffed Peh-PEE yet? PEP-eee’s bouquet demands to be wafted. Trust me, you’ll swallow.”) This wine is a Chardonnay-Viognier blend that is stainless-steel fermented and only partially oaked, so it is actually possible to taste the grape’s characteristics rather than the intense oak flavor unfortunately common to the California chardonnays my hourly waged ass can afford.
I’m a sucker for rosés because, unlike reds, you can pretty much gauge their color through the bottle. Chances are if its got a gorgeous hue in the store—under thick glass and buzzing, fluorescent lights—it’s gonna be a total outdoor knockout, when it’s lit up by the sun. Cave de Rasteau certainly isn’t one of the best rosés I’ve tasted but since it’s pretty neutral—neither dry nor sweet—it’s a good one to start with. As for the color: Think of a Shirley Temple without the fizz. All that, and it tastes great with boxed macaroni and cheese.
The Reds
Fenestra True Red Lot 17, Red table wine, California $9.99You’re finally done with work and you swear, all you want, all you’ll ever want, is to take off your pants. But first you’d like to pick up a bottle of red to have with your supper. True Red Lot 17 is a fine choice for that. It’s a bright, casual table wine that’s affordable and goes down easy.
As good as it is, in order to discover what you like in wine you have to have some understanding of what’s in what you’re drinking. And so I would like Fenestra even more if its label disclosed which “Rhone style” varietals comprise the blend. Grenache and syrah are the basis of most Rhone reds, so even knowing that would be helpful in figuring out what to try next. Still, at this price it’s kinda hard to stress over the enigma.
Darien Tempranillo Rioja, Spain 2003 $9.99
“Tempranillo” is a grape grown in a few places around the world. It is, however, native to Spain and is usually the flagship varietal—or type of grape—found in most wines of Rioja, a small region in northwestern Spain. Darien is dry and tannic but it didn’t dry my tongue out or make me pucker. If you can, uncork the bottle and let it breathe for 20 minutes or so before drinking. Since you’ve always wondered why this is, here you go: When you let a wine breathe, much of the astringent stuff from the skins and oak melts away and the juice becomes that much more delightful to down.
Las Rocas 2003 Grenacha San Alejandro, Calatatayud, Spain $9.99
Las Rocas is a light, Spanish red best served slightly chilled, especially in the warm, waning hours of the summertime. The juice is straight-up Garnacha Tinta, also known as Grenache Noir, a pale grape that loves the hot sun and is commonly grown throughout France and Spain.
In general I prefer reds to whites. But come summertime this preference isn’t so hot, especially if you like to laze around outdoors. When red wine gets above room temperature it loses its structure and can taste as wrong as an unripe banana. But since Las Rocas is happy to hang out in the beer cooler, it’s a porch-sitter’s boon. Or if you have no porch, then maybe just a parking lot.
Secret de Campane Vin d’ Pays, France $6.99
If only one of the wines on here ever makes it home with you, make it Secret de Campane. This Grenache-Cinsault blend is just so soft and pleasing that even if you think that these wine recommendations are arriving directly out of from my ass (they’re not but I know that feeling—I recently read a review of an “ethereal” 2001 German Riesling that made reference to dewy underbrush), after a glass of this you won’t care what I said. Secret de Campane is light-bodied, pairs well with pizza, but is still lovely on its own.
Gnarly Head Old Vine Zinfandel, Lodi, California $9.99
This wine’s knotted, head-pruned vines date back to the early twentieth-century and produce a thick, dark, somewhat spicy wine with a scabby, dried blood hue. There is less of that fresh, ripe fruit taste common to zinfandels and instead more wood, dirt, and pepper.
For every one of you that’s turned off by a beverage review that boasts dirt and scabs, there’s a sommelier out there who’s writhing in ecstasy. Alllllriiiight.
Tinto Lena 2003 Spain $8.99
When making sangria there’s no reason to buy expensive wine, since you’re not really going to be able to taste it. However, buying shitty, boxed wine is an equally dumb move because that you will be able to taste. Tinto Lena is perfect for sangria because it’s an indistinct dry red sold in liters, a convenient volume when you consider you’ll be Solo-cupping it from a scrubbed wastebin later that evening.
Pomegranate Wine, Ararat Valley, Armenia $9.99
Even for wine, this stuff is intense. It basically tastes like that bottled pomegranate juice—but sweeter, more viscous, and, um, fortified. As for how easy it goes down, I can say somewhere between “young port” and “dessert wine.” But if you chill it awhile in the fridge, the wine tightens up and makes an awesomely tangy apertif.
What’s really cool about wine made from pomegranates—they do their thing differently than grapes, so it upends a lot of people’s expectations about what wine is supposed to be.
The Whites
Casa de Villa Verde 2004, Portugal $8.99If there were a wine sports drink, this would be it: Vinho Verde, or “green wine,” is an absolute thirst quencher. It’s a young wine—usually white—from Portugal that doesn’t dry out your tongue and tastes like fresh grapes. Casa de Villa Verde cranes a bit toward sweetness but is not at all sugary—just light, fresh, and gulpable.
Feravino 2000 Pinot Blanc, Croatia $9.99
My boss at the shop once described Pinot Blanc as “the girl next door.” I had no idea what he was talking about, since at the time I had never tried a Pinot Blanc. So I masked my ignorance with a chuckle and continued to tinker with bottles in an effort to appear busy. Weeks later, though, I was given a bottle to take home.
It’s satisfying but I couldn’t really say why. There are no eccentricities; no citrus, grass, or olives to speak of. It’s dry but not bone-dry; crisp but only somewhat, and it isn’t a heavyweight nor is it necessarily light. Given how particular wines can get, pinot blanc is pretty non-descript but totally doable which, on some nights, is just fine by me.
Oh man. I think I just got what he meant.
Indaba Sauvignon Blanc 2004, South Africa $8.99
I tend to stay quiet during tastings. There are three reasons for this: 1) I don’t really know what I’m doing and I don’t want the wine reps to know that; 2) I’d rather try to enjoy the wine and figure out what’s good about it—for me; and 3) I’m drunk.
Still, when we were tasting Indaba I unleashed the lamest line ever: “Mmm…pineappley!” As silly as I felt, there was some truth in my exclamation. Indaba is, indeed, a mouthful of tropical fruit.
Pepi Chardonnay 2003, California $9.99
With a name like this, Pepi better be glad its wine doesn’t suck—otherwise they’d be out of business. (I like to accent the name differently each time I suggest it to a customer. “Oh but have you quaffed Peh-PEE yet? PEP-eee’s bouquet demands to be wafted. Trust me, you’ll swallow.”) This wine is a Chardonnay-Viognier blend that is stainless-steel fermented and only partially oaked, so it is actually possible to taste the grape’s characteristics rather than the intense oak flavor unfortunately common to the California chardonnays my hourly waged ass can afford.
The Rosé
Cave de Rasteau 2003 Cotes du Rhône, France $9.99I’m a sucker for rosés because, unlike reds, you can pretty much gauge their color through the bottle. Chances are if its got a gorgeous hue in the store—under thick glass and buzzing, fluorescent lights—it’s gonna be a total outdoor knockout, when it’s lit up by the sun. Cave de Rasteau certainly isn’t one of the best rosés I’ve tasted but since it’s pretty neutral—neither dry nor sweet—it’s a good one to start with. As for the color: Think of a Shirley Temple without the fizz. All that, and it tastes great with boxed macaroni and cheese.
—Published October 12, 2005
