Files Are Not for Sharing
My son just turned two, and we have begun to teach him the foundations of ethical behavior. To aid us in this endeavor, we purchased a number of books by Elizabeth Verdick:
Teeth Are Not for Biting,
Hands Are Not for Hitting,
Feet Are Not for Kicking, and
Words Are Not for Hurting.
Those four volumes might have been enough for the 20th century child. But these days there is at least one more fundamental tenet of ethical behavior that must be drilled into our nation’s youth as early as possible. And so I have taken it upon myself to pen the latest installment in the
X Are Not for Ying series.
TMN Contributing Writer
Matthew Baldwin is a programmer from Seattle who lives with the Best Wife Ever and a handful of good-for-nothing cats. He runs the Web site
defective yeti, loves to play board games, and once convinced 30 sober adults to run the 100-meter dash with their pants around their ankles. Once the patent for his combination Bagpipes/Breathalizer is approved, Matthew Baldwin will become obscenely wealthy and move to Belize.
Goopymart is a one-man (Will Guy) design studio specializing in bright, colorful, lumpy things. A wide variety of artwork, comics, and animations are made for the delight and confusion of the world’s population.
Visit goopymart.com.
» More by Matthew Baldwin & Goopymart
TODAY’S FEATURE
Those who can’t do, learn. As part of our series in which the clueless apprentice with the experts,
NICOLE PASULKA visits a funeral home in New Jersey to learn, hands-on, how to prepare someone for an eternal rest.
COOL HAND/PLANT
Non-Expert Andrew Womack reveals President Bush’s nicknames for each member of the Democratic House and Senate.
NEWSLETTER
More addictive than heroin, more challenging than Sudoku:
the TMN Map Quiz, delivered hot, fresh, and diabolical to your inbox every Friday.
» SIGN UP
DIGEST
Rescue packages are exciting, bailouts are greedy, but foreclosures are more ambiguous. Those profiting from repossessions paint an unhappy picture—and the grass.
