Files Are Not for Sharing
My son just turned two, and we have begun to teach him the foundations of ethical behavior. To aid us in this endeavor, we purchased a number of books by Elizabeth Verdick:
Teeth Are Not for Biting,
Hands Are Not for Hitting,
Feet Are Not for Kicking, and
Words Are Not for Hurting.
Those four volumes might have been enough for the 20th century child. But these days there is at least one more fundamental tenet of ethical behavior that must be drilled into our nation’s youth as early as possible. And so I have taken it upon myself to pen the latest installment in the
X Are Not for Ying series.
TMN Contributing Writer
Matthew Baldwin is a programmer from Seattle who lives with the Best Wife Ever and a handful of good-for-nothing cats. He runs the Web site
defective yeti, loves to play board games, and once convinced 30 sober adults to run the 100-meter dash with their pants around their ankles. Once the patent for his combination Bagpipes/Breathalizer is approved, Matthew Baldwin will become obscenely wealthy and move to Belize.
Goopymart is a one-man (Will Guy) design studio specializing in bright, colorful, lumpy things. A wide variety of artwork, comics, and animations are made for the delight and confusion of the world’s population.
Visit goopymart.com.
» More by Matthew Baldwin & Goopymart
TODAY’S FEATURE
Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week, Englishman
JONATHAN BELL defends his nation against a cursing student of Anglo-Saxons.
out-mothered
Non-Expert Jessica Francis Kane leads her followers into the battle of the playground.
THE FOOTNOTES TOO
All summer long, take part in an endurance read of
Infinite Jest, sponsored by TMN.
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DIGEST
Recently unmasked producer Burial joins his old schoolmate Four Tet on a cryptically released 12-inch. The result is two post-rock peregrinations sure to set your perceptions on edge.
