The Morning News

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Currently: running for governor of Alaska
Today’s Feature: “The Hot ______ of the Summer” by The Writers
NEW!  Latest in Digest: King’s Lead Hat

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Baby’s First Internet

Text by Kevin Fanning

Not sure how to explain the internet to your young ones? Presenting a series of nursery rhymes to teach children how to comport themselves on the online.


* * *

Do not stop to think or edit:
You must be the first who said it.

You heard a brand-new band? What luck!
You’ll be the first to say they suck.

In order to increase renown,
add “bacon” to most any noun.

It’s not your job to right a wrong,
just mark it FAIL and move along.

Rather than felicitations,
send your friend an application.

To be an expert’s no great tax:
Write common sense and call it “hacks.”

Your friends won’t like it, on the real,
but you must Flickr every meal.

In disagreements, all your readers
must be branded Nazi leaders.

It doesn’t matter what you say,
just publish it twelve times per day.


* * *

Kean Soo is a cartoonist and the creator of Jellaby, a graphic novel that was first serialized as a web comic at The Secret Friend Society. An assistant editor and regular contributor to the Flight series of anthologies, he occasionally daydreams about updating his personal web site with something meaningful.

—Published July 21, 2008 » Email this » Save this » More TMN Galleries
Kevin Fanning
Kevin Fanning has been a TMN Contributing Writer since 2002. He is constantly starting new projects that never get finished. His favorite season is fall, but according to his color chart he is a winter. He keeps a strict account of his various websites and internet-based miscellanea at kevinfanning.com. He symbolizes hope.

» More by Kevin Fanning


TODAY’S FEATURE

The Hot ______ of the Summer

In times of respite, the mind settles, focusing on what’s really relevant. Here are the TMN READERS’ AND WRITERS’ hot picks: the jam that fueled parties all summer long, the show we turned down the A/C to hear, and more.

Secret Service

Give Me a Sign

Margaret Mason reports from 2004’s Democratic National Convention on giant paper cuts, political souvenirs, and how all those signs get together.

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DIGEST

King’s Lead Hat

David Byrne’s first collaboration with Brian Eno in 27 years: Eno calls it “electronic gospel”; we call it the sound of studio perfection.