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Sunday, March 21, 2010

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Andrew Womack

Andrew Womack
Andrew Womack is a founding editor of The Morning News. He is always working on the next installment of the Albums of the Year series at TMN. You can and follow his Twitter updates here.

The 2010 Tournament of Books

Six years and growing, this year’s TOURNAMENT OF BOOKS will debut in March. Until then, we’ve got judges, the shortlist, and your shot at picking Zombies. (The Rooster | January 12, 2010)

The Top 10 Albums of 2009

The past 10 years have upturned the music world, and we’re all better for it. Closing the book on 2009, ANDREW WOMACK counts down the year’s best music, and names the artist of the decade. (Albums of the Year | December 21, 2009)

The 2010 Tournament of Books Long List

Now is not the time to look backward over a decade. Now, say THE ROOSTER STAFF, is the moment to look forward: to the 2010 Tournament of Books. (The Rooster | December 9, 2009)

Cloud of Atlases

Maps without legends may not be immediately informative, but determining what they represent is extremely fun. If you’re into that kind of thing, THE EDITORS have a game for you. (Diversions | November 5, 2009)

Is Rapper Kanye West Dead?

Suspicious lyrics and other clues suggest something may be amiss among the hip-hop royalty. Collecting evidence, ANDREW WOMACK uncovers a familiar case. (Spoofs & Satire | October 27, 2009)

Superpowers, Revealed

It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s…someone who can divide a dinner bill five ways! Sometimes the best abilities are the ones the world can’t see. Our STAFF AND READERS share their talents. (Of Recent Note | September 2, 2009)

When the Lights Went Out

At 4:15 p.m. on Aug. 14, 2003, tens of millions of people across the Northeast and Midwest U.S. and Ontario were suddenly without power. Our STAFF AND READERS tell us what happened next. (Of Recent Note | August 14, 2009)

Favorite Worst Movies

Summer movies tend to crush box-office records, dumbfound critics, and be terrible. Our STAFF AND READERS tell us about the movies they know they shouldn’t love. (Of Recent Note | July 2, 2009)

Viva Print

As the industry stands ready to pulp entire newsstands, devotees of periodicals refuse to give up on their first love. Our READERS AND WRITERS extol their favorite ink-based publications. (Of Recent Note | May 1, 2009)

One Spring Day

As winter wanes, everyone grows tired of the cold and damp, whether they live in San Francisco, Austin, or London. A day in the life of TMN’S EDITORS & WRITERS on the first day of spring. (Profiles | March 23, 2009)

People I Wish I Knew

We asked: “Who are your would-be acquaintances, your potential best friends, your maybe-someday muses?” With hopeful associates living and dead, renown and unknown, the TMN READERS AND WRITERS respond. (Of Recent Note | February 24, 2009)

Rooster Shirts, Judges, and Brackets, Oh My!

The FIFTH ANNUAL TOURNAMENT OF BOOKS is preparing to launch in a few weeks. Here are this year’s brackets for your office-gambling pleasure, as well as information about the 2009 judges and our brand new Rooster tees. (The Rooster | February 19, 2009)

The 2009 Tournament of Books

We interrupt our regular publishing schedule to bring you news of one feisty Rooster. Enjoying its fifth year, THE 2009 TOURNAMENT OF BOOKS is coming soon, and we’ve got the nominees to prove it. (The Rooster | January 13, 2009)

The Top 10 Albums of 2008

The best albums are those you want to listen to, over and over, never skipping a beat. After 12 months of listening, only 10 records remain. ANDREW WOMACK counts them down. (Albums of the Year | December 24, 2008)

2008

From unearthed media to otherworldly technology to reflection on a personal and economic level, the year was filled with things of every shape, size, and significance. THE WRITERS give us the best of what they noted. (Of Recent Note | December 19, 2008)

Boats We Missed

From acclaimed television series to all-over-your-radar bands to the web site even your grandmother knows about, here are the phenomena that the TMN READERS AND WRITERS, until recently, missed out on. (Of Recent Note | October 1, 2008)

The Hot ______ of the Summer

In times of respite, the mind settles, focusing on what’s really relevant. Here are the TMN READERS’ AND WRITERS’ hot picks: the jam that fueled parties all summer long, the show we turned down the A/C to hear, and more. (Of Recent Note | August 28, 2008)

Staycations

When vacating isn’t an option, you could always consider a holiday in your own vicinity. The TMN READERS AND WRITERS offer travel tales from lands closer to home. (Of Recent Note | July 29, 2008)

The Top 10 Albums of 1989

Because album lists shouldn’t happen only once a year: ANDREW WOMACK selects the best albums from every year. Rounding out the ’80s, music from the year America chose wrong. (Albums of the Year | July 9, 2008)

Ways We’re Saving Money

As the price of everything hikes higher and higher, thrift is fast becoming an essential life skill. The TMN READERS AND WRITERS tell us how they’re beating the high cost of living. (Of Recent Note | June 27, 2008)

2008 Editors’ Awards for Online Excellence

The internet: There sure is a lot of stuff on it. In the course of a year of browsing, we’ve discovered some favorites that deserve some sort of award—in fact, this sort of award. Presenting the 2008 Eddys. (Awards | May 23, 2008)

The Top 10 Albums of 1988

Because album lists shouldn’t happen only once a year: ANDREW WOMACK continues his rundown of the finest records from every year, now arriving within two decades of the present day. (Albums of the Year | May 1, 2008)

Things We’re Denying Ourselves

A recession looms at the door—before it arrives, we have an opportunity to improve our minds, bodies, and wallets. Though we may soon be denying ourselves more than pleasures, this is what we’re omitting right now. (Of Recent Note | April 30, 2008)

Movies for What Ails You

It’s winter, and chances are you’re sick or you’re about to be. Even though you may feel like you’d rather curl up and die, we recommend curling up with a good movie instead—and THE WRITERS’ answer to most ailments is Jimmy Stewart. (Of Recent Note | February 22, 2008)

The 2008 Tournament of Books

We interrupt our normal publishing schedule to bring you news of the following sponsored event: now in its fourth installation, THE 2008 TOURNAMENT OF BOOKS is coming soon, and we’ve got the nominee list to prove it. (The Rooster | February 21, 2008)

The Top 10 Albums of 1987

Because year-end album lists shouldn’t happen just once a year, ANDREW WOMACK recounts his favorite albums from every year, year after year, from as far back as he can remember. In this installment: The lists and timeline converge. (Albums of the Year | February 20, 2008)

Exercise Gear

How many fitness-inspired New Year’s resolutions does it take to beat down the average individual? How many recommended items of exercise paraphernalia from THE WRITERS does it take to rebuild one’s spirit? The answer is: never enough. (Of Recent Note | January 24, 2008)

The Top 10 Albums of 2007

In the past 12 months thousands of albums were released, but there are only 10 you’ll need to remember. ANDREW WOMACK brings us the best of the year. (Albums of the Year | December 19, 2007)

Hangover Cures

Robert Benchley once quipped, “The only cure for a real hangover is death.” Though ultimately true, right now there are holiday parties to attend. THE WRITERS offer solutions for the morning after. (Of Recent Note | December 13, 2007)

Online Merchants

‘Tis the season of Amazon and Zappos, but what about those web merchants with more rare offerings, or services you didn’t know were available online? THE WRITERS offer a few of their current favorites. (Of Recent Note | November 27, 2007)

Nonfiction Books

You’ve stocked up on bookmarks, ordered the bookplates, and now you’re ready to fill the shelves. Next time you’re shopping, pass over the fiction and pick up something with an index. THE WRITERS offer a selection. (Of Recent Note | October 23, 2007)

One Day on the Internet

In a world that revolves around email addresses and instant messages, much human interaction comes in bits and bytes. THE STAFF spends a day keeping track of their keystrokes around the globe. (Profiles | September 26, 2007)

The Top 10 Albums of 1986

Emptying out a storage space in Houston means judging sentimental value against what fits in the car. ANDREW WOMACK continues counting down his favorite albums, year by year. (Albums of the Year | September 20, 2007)

Fall Fashion

You’ve heard from Marc Jacobs, Proenza Schouler, and Chloe Sevigny on what to wear this season. Now it’s our turn. The monthly round-up from THE WRITERS on what appeals, this time from their closets. (Of Recent Note | September 18, 2007)

The Top 10 Albums of 1985

Even though it wasn’t an election year, in 1985 Alex P. Keaton could have run for president—and won. In a continuing series, ANDREW WOMACK goes back in time to rank his favorite albums, year by year. (Albums of the Year | August 30, 2007)

Bottled Drinks

With Labor Day gaining fast, summer is almost over. Rather than mourn its demise with a sack of hooch, we should toast our memories with a bottle of something special. THE WRITERS have some suggestions. (Of Recent Note | August 28, 2007)

The Top 10 Albums of 1984

It was no Orwellian nightmare; to have nightmares you need to sleep, and you can’t sleep when you lay awake terrified about nuclear war. ANDREW WOMACK brings us 10 double-plus good records. (Albums of the Year | August 16, 2007)

The Top 10 Albums of 1983

The New Wave was drying up and the New Romantics were taking hold. But tell that to a Cub Scout in 1983 and you’ll get a blank stare. ANDREW WOMACK remembers the best music he didn’t know about. (Albums of the Year | July 12, 2007)

Sacrifice

From choosing a mousetrap to moving across the country, parenting requires tough decisions. ANDREW WOMACK on the hardest thing he and his wife have ever done. (Personal Essays | June 12, 2007)

2007 Editors’ Awards for Online Excellence

We read and see a lot of web sites, and though most are terrible, some are extraordinary. Presenting the 2007 edition of TMN’s annual Editors’ Awards for Online Excellence. (Awards | May 24, 2007)

The Top 10 Albums of 1982

MTV was shaking up the airwaves, but if it was happening during an episode of Diff’rent Strokes ANDREW WOMACK didn’t notice. Ten favorite albums from the year the ’80s really began. (Albums of the Year | May 15, 2007)

The Top 10 Albums of 1981

Iran’s taking hostages, Pat Sajak’s still on the air, and all of a sudden 1981 doesn’t feel like so long ago. ANDREW WOMACK recounts the best albums from every year, as far back as he can remember. (Albums of the Year | April 4, 2007)

The Top 10 Albums of 1980

The dawn of a new decade saw punk rock fading away, or at least saving up to buy a synthesizer. In his continuing series on his favorite albums from every year, ANDREW WOMACK goes pre-MTV. (Albums of the Year | February 22, 2007)

Announcing TMN’s 2007 Tournament of Books

Ladies and gentlemen, book nerds and illiterates, here are this year’s candidates for the Rooster Award in the 2007 Tournament of Books, sponsored by Powells.com—and we need your help in setting up the brackets. A message from KEVIN GUILFOILE. (The Rooster | February 20, 2007)

The Top 10 Albums of 1979

Times were good: Every album came with a poster, disco was dying, and actors weren’t Presidents. Continuing his lists of the best albums from years past, ANDREW WOMACK revisits 1979. (Albums of the Year | February 8, 2007)

The Top 10 Albums of 1978

Year-end album lists shouldn’t happen only once a year. Inaugurating a new series, ANDREW WOMACK raids his music collection to rank his favorite albums from every year, year after year, starting with as far back as he can recollect. (Albums of the Year | January 23, 2007)

What’s Your Resolution?

The confetti’s been tossed, the funny hats are crumpled in the corner, and at least three of us had a little too much champagne. At the start of a new year, THE WRITERS offer an answer to the question everybody’s asking. (Spoofs & Satire | January 2, 2007)

The Top 10 Albums of 2006

The “record” industry is dead and 99-cent singles are now the rule, and yet terrific, cohesive rock LPs keep appearing every week. TMN founding editor ANDREW WOMACK picks his best albums of the year. (Reviews | December 20, 2006)

This Is Not a Eulogy

This is an appreciation. Our friend, writer, editor, and teacher LESLIE HARPOLD recently died. A memorial for a woman who was difficult to describe—and who couldn’t stand sentimental bullshit. (Profiles | December 18, 2006)

Our Favorite Gifts

The most meaningful gifts are so personal they cannot simply be plucked from the shelves of a store—but sometimes we need a little help. Turning holiday inspiration into shopping salvation, THE WRITERS recall their fondest gift memories. (Guides | December 15, 2006)

Name That Congress

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK tells us how George W. Bush will nickname every one of his new, non-Republican buddies in Congress. (The Non-Expert | November 10, 2006)

The Vanishing Date

Halloween: time for stories of headless horsemen, escaped psychos with hooks for hands, and ghosts other than the white-sheet variety. But the same stories year after year can get a little dull. THE WRITERS retell a scary tale. (Spoofs & Satire | October 31, 2006)

At-Home Halloween Costumes

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week THE EDITORS help a young woman work through a desperate situation: What to wear this year on Halloween? (The Non-Expert | October 20, 2006)

Employees Must Double-Wash Hands

The recent E. Coli scare sent many bags of spinach into the trashbin. Now that the FDA says the outbreak is over, how will restaurants assure us what they’re serving is safe to eat? ANDREW WOMACK has a solution. (Spoofs & Satire | September 29, 2006)

What About Blackberry?

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week THE EDITORS test whether therapy is conductable over portable email devices. (The Non-Expert | September 1, 2006)

Truth in Advertising

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK shows a reader concerned about television’s wasteland how advertisers could create more socially aware campaigns. (The Non-Expert | July 14, 2006)

Rachael Ray’s Secret Travel Tips

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK helps a reader combine travel and eating—with knowledge cribbed from the Food Network star. (The Non-Expert | June 16, 2006)

One Day in New York City

June 1 dawned humid and hot. The forecast: A high of 84 degrees and possible late-day thunderstorms west of town. But forecasts—for the temperature or for a busy day of work and play—aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. A day in the life of THE WRITERS. (New York, New York | June 14, 2006)

Am I a Hypochondriac?

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK introduces a paranoid reader to his personal physician, Dr. Google, who has induced paranoia in more patients than anyone. (The Non-Expert | June 2, 2006)

May 2006

It’s the last Wednesday of the month, so it’s time for another episode of what THE WRITERS have recently been loving: restaurants in California, television in Japan, vitamin-laced candy, and more. (Of Recent Note | May 31, 2006)

2006 Editors’ Awards for Online Excellence

Web Geeks Unite! was the original slogan when The Morning News launched in 1999, and though our mission has changed, the spirit is undiminished. Presenting TMN’s 2006 Editors’ Awards for Online Excellence. (Awards | May 25, 2006)

Sloppy Seconds With Opal Mehta

After dozens of entries and hundreds of footnotes—and the demise of the publishing industry—we’re pleased to publish the winner of our plagiarism contest, BONNIE FURLONG, and her story, “The Parlourmaid’s Tale, or, MS in a Dustbin.” (Contest | May 18, 2006)

Back Off, Man, I’m a Scientist

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK helps a forlorn scientist understand why his friend and co-worker chose to quit her job and leave the state. (The Non-Expert | May 12, 2006)

A Word of Advice

‘Tis the season of graduation ceremonies, when many will be told it’s the first day of the rest of their lives. THE WRITERS disagree, and offer the ultimate commencement speech. (Spoofs & Satire | May 4, 2006)

Steal This Book, and That Book, and That Book…

Announcing the TMN “Sloppy Seconds With Opal Mehta” Contest, where you, as “writer,” plagiarize as much as you want, for a sort-of original story. Start cribbing now—the entry deadline is in two weeks! (Contest | May 1, 2006)

Piping Hot

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK shows a tenant how to beat the heat that’s still pouring out of the radiator. (The Non-Expert | April 7, 2006)

For March 2006

A new month of what THE WRITERS have been watching, reading, eating, drinking, hearing, and enjoying. (Of Recent Note | March 29, 2006)

The Seven Veils of Self-Importance

The bets are in, the brackets are filled out, and the judges have sharpened their knives. Welcome to the 2006 Tournament of Books, sponsored by Powells.com. (The Rooster | March 20, 2006)

For February 2006

What THE WRITERS have been enjoying, watching, reading, hearing, eating, viewing, and digesting for the past 28 days. (Of Recent Note | February 28, 2006)

Way to Go

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK has your answer for the next time somebody asks you how, when your number is finally up, you want to go. (The Non-Expert | February 3, 2006)

Auld Lang Syne

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything—though some problems are so big, so perennial, that even the Non-Expert can’t tackle them alone. Edited by Intern BETH MILTON, six writers offer ways to avoid being kissless on New Year’s Eve. (The Non-Expert | December 23, 2005)

The Top 10 Albums of 2005

After a year of music, thousands of hours of listening time, and one worn-out iPod, ANDREW WOMACK brings us his picks for the very best music this year. (Reviews | December 21, 2005)

Holiday Travel Hell

It’s a toss-up for what’s worse about Thanksgiving: visiting the family homestead, or simply getting there. Travel stories by THE WRITERS, collected by intern Nicole Pasulka. (Personal Essays | November 22, 2005)

Troubleshooting Your Déjà Vu

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK explains how you can tell if what you’re experiencing is déjà vu or not, and how best to proceed when it is. (The Non-Expert | October 14, 2005)

How to Defuse an Atomic Bomb

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week a reader wants to know whether to clip the red wire or the blue, and ANDREW WOMACK is happy to report the answer is ready and waiting. So take one step further, veiled reader, before the clock stops ticking. (The Non-Expert | September 30, 2005)

Clear and Present Danger

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK helps a reader preparing for a trip to New York get over anxieties about terrorism, including tips on how to keep his Labor Day jihad-free. (The Non-Expert | August 26, 2005)

Our Faded Summers

It may be something in the sunscreen, but funny things happen during summer—dehydration, Lyme disease, brief romantic flings. Collected writings of love lost and won (but mostly lost), presented by TMN Summer Intern HEATHER RASLEY. (Personal Essays | August 17, 2005)

A Moving Story

Moving is backbreaking work that’s best done by somebody else, by professionals—or at least by people you can trust. If all else fails, hire movers. ANDREW WOMACK’S story of a journey across town. (New York, New York | August 16, 2005)

Fabled Again

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week: An overstuffed mailbag means a lot of questions are begging to be answered, and ANDREW WOMACK knows the only way to satisfy those hungry for knowledge—goats. (The Non-Expert | July 29, 2005)

The New American Music

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week: The Fourth of July is here, so let’s get singing. But instead of Yankee-Doodling all over again, ANDREW WOMACK has some melodies that are still patriotic, more fun to sing, and that we can finally remember the words to. (The Non-Expert | July 1, 2005)

The Non-Expert: Term Paper

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK heeds the call from a forlorn student and explains how any term paper can be stretched to meet its page quota. To meet its page quota. To meet its page quota. (How To | June 3, 2005)

2005 Editors’ Awards for Online Excellence

Web Geeks Unite! was our original slogan when we launched this site in 1999, and while the tagline has changed, the spirit is undiminished. Editors ANDREW WOMACK and ROSECRANS BALDWIN share their picks for this year’s Editors’ Awards. (Opinions | May 19, 2005)

The Non-Expert: Gentrify! Gentrify!

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK shows how you can fight New York’s soaring real-estate costs when you invade an unfamiliar neighborhood. Making friends will never be so hard. (How To | May 13, 2005)

The Non-Expert: Dreams and How to Dress for Them

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK helps analyze your dreams, or maybe just his own, and offers a handy chart that tells you what to wear depending on the temperature. Yes: “handy.” (How To | April 22, 2005)

The Non-Expert: Fabled

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK explains why it’s best to avoid serial threesomers, where the West Village begins and ends, how to build your résumé, and why you shouldn’t drive. All using goats. (How To | April 15, 2005)

The Non-Expert: Life Hacks for the Rest of Us

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK explains the well-traveled secrets and tricks that really can make your life a little bit easier, even while they fail to improve you in any way. (How To | April 8, 2005)

Of Recent Note: For Spring 2005

THE WRITERS spring on you the stuff they’re into right now—including what they’re reading, hearing, watching, finding, eating, using, installing, applying, and, yes, even scratching this season. (Opinions | March 22, 2005)

The Non-Expert: The Unwritten Code of Subway Performers, Written

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK reveals the unspoken rules that govern the work, relationships, and processes that take place every day amongst the city’s many subway musicians, ventriloquists, acrobats, and the like. (How To | February 18, 2005)

A New, Old House

It’s true: You can never go home again. ANDREW WOMACK remembers watching a construction team renovate the house he grew up in, and understands why his parents wanted a new place to live. (Stories | January 13, 2005)

The Top 10 Albums of 2004

There were thousands of albums released by thousands of artists in 2004, so it must be hard to determine which were the 10 greatest, right? No, not really. ANDREW WOMACK has his picks for the best of this year in music. (Opinions | December 20, 2004)

The Non-Expert: Many Miscellaneous Concerns

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK answers reader concerns, including the business with mattress tags and why, when in Greece, you might not want to signal to your waiter that you’re ready for the check. (How To | December 10, 2004)

The Non-Expert: Saying Grace

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK shows how saying grace before a holiday meal doesn’t have to be a chore, and how if you know what to say, your thoughtful words may make the holidays more special. And then sometimes not. (How To | November 19, 2004)

The Non-Expert: Roommate

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK shows a reader how to get even the most troublesome of roommates to move out. (How To | November 5, 2004)

The Plotlines Against America

Philip Roth’s bestselling new novel, The Plot Against America, depicts a U.S. that elects Charles Lindbergh over F.D.R. in the 1940 presidential election. Lindbergh’s documented anti-Semitic stance is put into action, and the book goes great distances to retain believability. How? As always—with top-notch editing. ANDREW WOMACK reports on a series of writer-editor correspondence. (Stories | November 2, 2004)

The Non-Expert: Dance

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK describes many of today’s most enduring and popular dance steps, and includes helpful illustrations that show you how to dance them. (How To | October 22, 2004)

Of Recent Note: For Fall 2004

Books, movies, shows, albums, artists, clothing, writing instruments, online “services,” ways to cook, things to eat, and more things to digest. What’s that? It’s what THE WRITERS have been very into lately, and think you might be too. Here are their Fall recommendations. (Opinions | October 13, 2004)

The Non-Expert: Fall

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK tells us how to recover after taking a really nasty spill in public. And yes, they’re all laughing at you. (How To | October 8, 2004)

The Non-Expert: Hipster

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK explains how being a hipster is not necessarily a bad thing, and shows how to determine if you are, in fact, really one of them. (How To | September 24, 2004)

The Non-Expert: Computers

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK explains what’s inside a computer and how it works, how you can determine if you need a laptop model or a desktop, and the true difference between PCs and Macs. (How To | September 10, 2004)

The Morning News Guide to the Republican National Convention

With New York overrun by delegates and helicopters, dragon-burning anarchists and the president’s twin daughters, THE EDITORS present a mid-week survival guide for Republicans confused by the city that never sleeps or says thank you. (New York, New York | August 31, 2004)

The Non-Expert: Diet

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK answers a reader’s question about how to find the right diet, and then makes it all up rather than doing his research. (How To | August 20, 2004)

The Non-Expert: Olympian

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK looks to this month’s Olympic Games and gives an overview of the athletic events involved and picks the sports you simply don’t want to miss. (How To | August 13, 2004)

Roundtable: Mp3 Bloggers

There exists in the internet a galaxy of passionate music fans sharing their favorite songs, for free, with as many people as can find them. THE EDITORS talk to six of our favorite mp3 bloggers to find out what makes them tick, what problems they face, and what, exactly, the record companies should do next. (Opinions | August 10, 2004)

The Non-Expert: IQ

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK answers a reader’s question about how to prove one’s intelligence to a world that needs to know. How? With the Non-Expert’s IQ test, of course. (How To | August 6, 2004)

If on a summer’s vacation…

Now past the halfway-mark for summer, we’ve all either taken our summer vacations or we’re still planning where to go. For those of us who fall into the latter camp, beware your choices. THE WRITERS remember ways summer vacations have gone so horribly wrong. (Stories | July 28, 2004)

The Non-Expert: More Miscellaneous Concerns

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK answers questions about how to avoid getting sick of and at the office, being sunburned while traveling at the speed of light, and the origins of the Spanish-American War. (How To | July 16, 2004)

Clear Cut Press

Editor Matthew Stadler and publisher Richard Jensen talk about turning books they love into beautiful publications, finding inspiration from distant sources, and how to recognize pomposity. (People | July 15, 2004)

The Non-Expert: Dogs

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK covers the many different kinds of canine companions you could choose to collar as “your best friend.” Except for schnauzers. (How To | July 9, 2004)

The Non-Expert: Removing

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK shows the proper way to dispose of a trashcan, then explains how to remove food smells that repel your significant other. Also: the problem with toaster ovens. (How To | June 25, 2004)

The Non-Expert: Zodiac

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK enters the astrological realm to reveal the meanings behind your birth sign, and explains why everyone finds Scorpios annoying. (How To | June 18, 2004)

The Non-Expert: Swim

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK instructs you on the basics of swimming, with many of the most popular strokes explained in detail. Except for the double-trudgen… because come on. (How To | June 11, 2004)

The Non-Expert: Home Surgery

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK shows you how to mend common household wounds with a handful of band-aids, a bottle of ipecac, and a healthy dose of resolve. (How To | June 4, 2004)

The Non-Expert: Online Loving & Andy Kaufman

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK shows how to turn online friendship into internet love, and exposes the truth behind Andy Kaufman’s return. (How To | May 21, 2004)

2004 Editors’ Awards for Online Excellence

The web is an awfully tangled place, but there are jewels in the strands. Presenting The Morning News 2004 Editors’ Awards for Online Excellence, where advanced technology, top-notch prose, and pictures of cats are equally admired. (Opinions | May 18, 2004)

The Non-Expert: Assorted Randomness

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK explains why it’s not a good idea to name your baby after a month, what the opposite of brown is, and exactly who that is wandering the bike path. (How To | May 14, 2004)

The Non-Expert: English

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK illustrates, exhibits, and displays how proper editing makes English all that more the understandable. (How To | May 7, 2004)

The Non-Expert: Houseplants

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK catalogs many popular houseplants, from bulbs to succulents, explaining which would be the best choices for your particular interior décor and style. (How To | April 23, 2004)

How to Walk in New York

Walk or don’t walk? In New York, there is rarely a choice. ANDREW WOMACK lays the ground rules for how you should maneuver the pavement, always showing your best side under special circumstances, and what to do when sidewalk rage hits. (How To | April 7, 2004)

The Non-Expert: Pet Names

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week THE EDITORS help couples understand how cute lover-names can become butt-quaking insults. (How To | March 5, 2004)

Roundtable: Children’s Music

We’ve seen their drawings of Radiohead songs, they tell us the Strokes make their heads hurt “like 100 dogs,” but how do we feel about their songs? LESLIE HARPOLD, SARAH HEPOLA, and CHOIRE SICHA listen to children’s music, weighing in on the state of the pint-sized. (Opinions | March 3, 2004)

The Non-Expert: Urban Furnishing

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK leads you on a safe shopping excursion through all that discarded furniture on the sidewalks of New York. (How To | February 27, 2004)

Happy Endings

With today’s final taping of Friends, fans across the country wonder what’s in store for TV’s six pals. Will Rachel and Ross finally find romance? Will Joey’s career take off? Ready with spoilers for the final episode in May is Andrew Womack. (Stories | January 22, 2004)

Rules for the Holidays

Surviving relatives, co-workers, and lovers drugged by cheer is easier when there are guidelines for action. THE EDITORS share some tips to help keep your step-dad’s paws off your Christmas sweater. (Stories | December 17, 2003)

The Top 10 Albums of 2003

The iPod got a lot of use this year. After hundreds of albums and thousands of hours of listening to music, ANDREW WOMACK narrows it all down to his top 10 albums of 2003. Here are his findings. (Opinions | December 15, 2003)

The Non-Expert: Snowmen

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK welcomes the beginning of winter with helpful advice for those who want their snowmen to survive into spring. (How To | December 12, 2003)

The Non-Expert: Rollercoaster

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK teaches you everything you’ll need to know when you finally build that rollercoaster in your backyard. (How To | November 21, 2003)

The Man Who Was Hook

Nothing says Halloween like a gutted teenager, or some other urban legend told around the candy bag. But hasn’t everyone already heard the ending? THE WRITERS band together for a dozen new ways to finish your story. (Stories | October 31, 2003)

How to Carve a Pumpkin

It’s nearly Halloween, time for ghosts, treats, and hours of time invested in what invariably winds up splattered down your block. Yes: the season-o-Jack. ANDREW WOMACK explains how to cut your gourd. (How To | October 29, 2003)

Carson Ellis

Illustrator, artist, and all-around winner Carson Ellis tells us about her work with the Decemberists, collapsed mining towns in Montana, and what’s stuck in her head. (People | October 16, 2003)

New York Do’s and Don’ts

With budget crises, unemployment, and wild animals on the loose, New York can be a difficult place to navigate. Luckily, THE EDITORS have some tips on how to make contemporary Gotham life more bearable. (New York, New York | October 7, 2003)

Makeover Madness!

Never fear: Television can change your life when there’s a makeover show specially designed to do just that. ANDREW WOMACK follows two guests and learns. (Stories | September 5, 2003)

The Non-Expert: Mascots

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK digs into some heavy research to tell you what your school mascot really says about you. (How To | August 1, 2003)

Al Burian

Musician and author of Burn Collector Al Burian talks about people’s preoccupation with occupation, a fantastical night of siege, and what happens when punk rock and sports injuries collide. (People | April 21, 2003)

The Non-Expert: Men’s Odor

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK covers the basics on choosing a cologne while everyone else covers their noses. (How To | April 11, 2003)

Men’s Fashion: Spring

Hail spring! May flowers are just around the corner, bringing new occasions to look dashing. THE EDITORS dole out their advice, on lightweight suits (nice), scuba gear (when underwater), and seersucker (not yet). (Opinions | April 9, 2003)

New York Inventions

Life in Gotham becomes so insular occasionally, we wonder why scientists aren’t working on special inventions to make our lives easier. Luckily, the TMN engineers are on the case; THE EDITORS explore their findings. (New York, New York | April 1, 2003)

The Non-Expert: Inspiration

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK explains why people are perpetually fascinated with inspirational quotes. Like that ‘Vince Lombardi shit.’ (How To | March 7, 2003)

The Non-Expert: Slush

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week, following the largest snowstorm ever, ANDREW WOMACK explains how to travel to work without ruining your shoes. (How To | February 21, 2003)

The Non-Expert: Party Jokes

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK offers some jokes for awkward moments at your next party, safe for children, drunks, and pets. (How To | January 31, 2003)

The Non-Expert: Freaking Cold

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week THE EDITORS gives you some tips on how to beat the $#@*ing cold weather. Get ready to greet some heat. (How To | January 24, 2003)

The Non-Expert: Hair Growth

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK explains how different hairs on the body grow at different speeds, i.e., get ahead of one another, all puns intended. (How To | January 17, 2003)

The Non-Expert: Santa Claus

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week THE WRITERS determine once and for all the existence of Santa Claus. (How To | December 20, 2002)

Roundtable: Academia

What happens when you put five academics together and talk about the future of higher learning, the intricacies of tenure, and whether or not American high-schoolers are really learning anything? THE EDITORS strap on their mortarboards and find out. (Personalities | December 9, 2002)

Holiday Gift Guide

Thanksgiving’s over, Chanukah’s in full swing, and Christmas is right around the corner. THE EDITORS throw in their recommendations for what to get that special someone, i.e., yourself. (Opinions | December 2, 2002)

The Non-Expert: Life

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK looks into the immortal question—what do I do with my life?—and finds the obvious answer. (How To | November 22, 2002)

The Non-Expert: Boys

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK, having already had the issue of girls settled for him, tackles boys and their puppy-dog tails. (How To | November 1, 2002)

Scary Stories

In celebration of Halloween, we’ve asked all the Contributing Writers to share a scary story. Here then, seven ways to get freaked out. (Stories | October 31, 2002)

The Non-Expert: Juice

Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. This week ANDREW WOMACK gives you a few pointers on how to embark on a three-day juice fast. Bottoms up. (How To | October 18, 2002)

Monkee Wives

Record companies build bands on trends, hoping their musicians will rise to the top of the newest! hottest! sound. Not every band, though, can have an exclamation mark. THE EDITORS inspect the rejects. (Stories | August 15, 2002)

Jamie Stewart

Jamie Stewart is the lead singer of the much-loved Xiu Xiu, whose new album, Knife Play, is one of the… (People | July 19, 2002)

Hotel Bars in the City

New Yorkers treat drinking like exercise: done frequently, in the company of friends, and one’s life becomes better. But where to go when you’re tired of the neighborhood dive? THE EDITORS seek out the best of the best: old hotels in Manhattan. (New York, New York | June 21, 2002)

Shy Child

New York City ‘Synth-rock’ duo Shy Child makes a unique type of music, an amalgam of synthesizer and live drums, with energy and precision. They spoke with ANDREW WOMACK about what’s happened, what’s next, and what’s in a genre. (Personalities | June 12, 2002)

John Vanderslice

John Vanderslice—Tiny Telephone studio and MP3 hub owner, ex-MK Ultra lead singer, current solo artist behind the very beautiful Life and Death of an American Fourtracker—answers our questions. (People | June 6, 2002)

Read the Fucking Manual

An anthology of new work from seventeen writers with Web sites, including many writers published here and in better places. Available for free as a downloadable PDF—it’s the book to be seen with this season. (Stories | May 27, 2002)

The Secret Machines

The very extraordinary Secret Machines, en masse, spoke to ANDREW WOMACK about scaring the audience, the recording of September 000, and potluck dinners. (Personalities | May 24, 2002)

Rules of the New Restroom

We’ve all seen the ‘Employees Must Wash Hands’ and ‘No Smoking’ signs in bathrooms. But what about other common sense rules? How are we to know what’s permissable, and what’s just plain wrong? THE EDITORS offer some suggestions. (Opinions | May 23, 2002)

The Secret Machines, September 000

The Secret Machines’ new EP, September 000, is magnificent: an inspiring work from what could be the best live band New York has seen in years. ANDREW WOMACK reviews. (Opinions | May 22, 2002)

Justin Sinkovich

The co-founder of the best MP3 site on the Internet, Epitonic, and member of bands Atombombpocketknife, Poison Arrows, Tranquil Eyes, and Thumbnail praises hard work and recalls getting electrocuted on stage. (People | May 16, 2002)

Guide to New York Jargon

You’re probably familiar with ‘Fugget about it,’ ‘Assa matta pa you,’ or the timeless ‘Fuck Off.’ But the Editors felt it was time to update New York’s jargon, and have compiled a list for the contemporary dweller. (New York, New York | May 13, 2002)

Men’s Fashion: Part 4, Conclusion

THE EDITORS conclude the Men’s Fashion series with a few tips of advice to how to wear a tie, hold an umbrella, and arrange your wallet to win when your lover goes a-spyin’. (Opinions | May 6, 2002)

Men’s Fashion: Part 3, Pants

They decorate your legs. They accentuate your form. They define your character. And the correct choice between wearing them or not can keep you out of jail. THE EDITORS present part three of their men’s fashion advice: pants. (Opinions | April 29, 2002)

Plants I Have Killed

Not all destruction is intentional. TMN editor ANDREW WOMACK has laid waste to some of this planet’s finest vegetation. Don’t let him visit the rainforest. (Stories | April 25, 2002)

Men’s Fashion: Part 2, Dress Shirts

Our second installment of men’s fashion advice, and our favorite topic: dress shirts. They can match any outfit, be worn in planes and malls alike, dress Miles Davis and Bill Gates in the same colors, and still say different things. THE EDITORS explain how. (Opinions | April 22, 2002)

Men’s Fashion: Part 1, Suits

It’s the one thing every man should own: a suit. THE EDITORS salute the suit’s ability to withstand expiration, bask in its enduring appeal, and offer advice on what to look for when you’re off to buy your own. If only we could be there to say, “Suits you, sir!” (Opinions | April 15, 2002)

Inside Looking Out

A new graduate knows everything. What could the real world teach that hasn’t already been learned in those four long, grueling years? Out of college, ANDREW WOMACK goes to Dallas, tries not to get a job, gets one anyway, and learns something new. And then quits his job. (Stories | April 8, 2002)

…And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead, Source Tags & Codes

…And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead have released their major-label debut, singularly their finest record to date and the most blistering, blissful album to be released by anyone in years. ANDREW WOMACK reviews. (Opinions | February 27, 2002)

Marceline Smith

The five questions for editor and music lover Marceline Smith. (People | February 17, 2002)

The Morning News Guide to Urban Etiquette: New York City

You’d be surprised at what you’ll see people do in New York. Or maybe you wouldn’t. But maybe you should. THE EDITORS offer a guide to everyone who lives in New York, whether there for an hour or for a lifetime. (New York, New York | February 8, 2002)

Dinty W. Moore

The five questions for professor, writer, and editor Dinty Moore, who cites Steve Martin as a hero. (People | February 8, 2002)

Neil Busch

…And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead member Neil Busch takes the five questions and mentions his friends’ troubled love lives. (People | January 28, 2002)

Roundtable: Writing on the Web

We have an obvious stake in the state of writing on the Web: it’s what we do, what we’re interested in, and something we care about. So when we began asking ourselves, ‘What is writing like on the Web, today?’ we decided that rather than answer the question ourselves, it would be a lot more fun to kidnap a bunch of people we like and respect, lock them in a garage with a few folding chairs, and make them answer our questions. THE EDITORS listen. (Personalities | December 5, 2001)

Claudia Brown

Fashion plate and all around artist Claudia Brown answers the five questions, liking Haruki Murkami and Thomas Friedman. (People | November 17, 2001)

Andrew Stockdale

Fashion, no, everything photographer Andrew Stockdale handles the five questions with ease, describing the horny dogs that live next door. (People | October 23, 2001)

Oof

This past summer Oof visited New York City from Osaka. Having never been here before, she spent her days exploring, camera in hand, recording a personal log of New York City with an eye to the everyday (but hardly ordinary) people and things that surround us. And at the end of the summer she stayed up all night covering a friend’s kitchen table in tiny strips of pink tape. ANDREW WOMACK interviews her. (New York, New York | October 3, 2001)

Investigating Tragedy

In the wake of the September 11 attacks and the responses they have instigated, we tried to read and learn as much as possible about the events that occurred and what they caused: herein are links to the information we found helpful. From The Editors. (Opinions | September 24, 2001)

Alain de Botton

Writer Alain de Botton answers the five questions, answering against pessimism, for Stendhal. (People | September 15, 2001)

The Day After The World Trade Center Was Attacked

There is a palpable sadness in Brooklyn today, seen in how people walk, then stop, as if they’ve just forgotten something, how they gather on street corners to talk, in those who cry on the sidewalk and the faces of the old people in my neighborhood who look up when the roar of jet planes starts again. THE EDITORS remember. (New York, New York | September 12, 2001)

The Morning News Guide to New York

Summer is tourist season in New York City and maybe you’re one of them, on a visit to the city, unsure of where to go. Maybe you have recommendations from friends, maybe relatives have ideas for where to go; don’t trust them. Trust us. THE EDITORS share their favorites. (New York, New York | August 1, 2001)

Petter Ringbom

Creating Public Service Announcements to the Web community, doing the work for the love of the craft, taking the fear out of facing reality: ANDREW WOMACK chatted with designer Petter Ringbom about his design, your design, and going berserk. (Personalities | June 27, 2001)


TODAY’S FEATURE

Go Climb a Tree

When all you want is get away from it all, just grab a branch, hoist yourself up, and leave your troubles below. RALPH GAMELLI guides you to a peaceful place.

OUR MAN IN BOSTON

Manguel on Reading

Alberto Manguel writes about his first love.

TMN MERCH

If a Bird Can’t Fly It Walks

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TMN TALKS

Star Black

Star Black is a poet, photographer, and collage artist living and working in New York City. She’s released five books of poems, has taught...