Headlines from May 6, 2014

National Climate Change Assessment says climate change has moved from the distant future to the immediate now.
Credit Suisse to pay a $1.6 billion penalty for helping wealthy Americans evade US taxes.
Central African Republic’s bloody battleground makes the Darfur conflict look like “a model of simplicity.”
Boko Haram leader says Allah wants him to sell the 200-plus Nigerian girls he kidnapped.
Remnick: By banning four little words, Putin again shows his determination to “turn back the clock on the vast society under his rule.”
Tuesday poem: “To My Flowers” by Eileen Myles.
Up to the mid-90s, shorty referred to female, male, and child equally (~30% each). But by 2002, the female bit rose to 70%.
The world’s quietest place is a man-made chamber in Minnesota that makes the human body sound like a rock concert.
Netherlands Bach Society and guest musicians release a new recording online each week.
Funeral directors prefer “semi-spiritual” ambient music over silence. #tmn
Los Angeles Times finds the Donald J. Sterling Charitable Foundation to perform more self-promotion than charity.
If Sterling is forced to sell the Clippers, his profits may be entirely tax-free.
African park rangers fear that geotagged tourist photos will lead poachers to endangered animals.
UPS accidentally delivers a Federal wildlife monitoring drone to a college student.
The New Yorker spends a weekend on Soylent, the food substitute that tastes like “watered-down pancake batter.”
Alexander Chee undertakes a rich man’s spring cleanse of Himalayan moss shakes. #tmn