Headlines from August 29, 2013

American and British lawmakers try to slow their countries’ increasingly fast march toward a strike on Syria.
From the Onion, “Syria Conflict Intensifies As Bears Enter War.”
South Korean paper reports Kim Jong Un’s ex-girlfriend has been executed for violating North Korea’s pornography laws
Round-up of reactions to the 50th anniversary of King’s dream speech.
Everything changed after I had two girls. Man contemplates his final text message to his children. #tmn
In case you didn’t know, the misuse or theft of milk crates is highly regulated and monitored.
Heisman-winning quarterback Manziel of Texas A&M suspended for the first half of Saturday’s season opener.
ACL injuries may not sideline so many athletes in the future thanks to animal studies.
Touching portraits of a boy who was born without eyes. #tmn
Documentary examines Action Park—world’s “most insane amusement park ever”—where it seems like nearly every visitor got injured. #video
Virus similar to measles is suspected of killing hundreds of Atlantic bottlenose dolphins since July.
On the day that brilliant, powerful aliens invade our planet, we’d better hope that they don’t try to be anything like us.
The current plague of multimedia-drenched online journalism serves nobody, especially not the reader. #opinions
Journalist details—in thrilling, awful detail—trying to escape her Somali kidnappers. #longreads
RuPaul drives Henry Rollins around in a car and encourages him to be vulnerable in relationships. #video
Hitchcock movie and its 1991 TV remake compared to figure out why one is a film noir masterpiece and the other is trash. via
UN weapons inspectors will leave Syria on Saturday, one day ahead of schedule.
White paper: Military interventions in favor of the rebel faction tend to increase government killings of civilians by about 40%.
The eye of Michelle Bachmann will be hitting Florida. Group proposes naming storms after lawmakers who deny climate change. #video
In South Africa, synthetic drugs with ingredients like heroin, detergent, and HIV medication pose a deadly public health threat.
The gin and tonic was once an emblem of the British empire’s success.
Reportedly, it is impossible to say “I love you” in Vietnamese, but if you do love someone, then you must burn their possessions.
In 2011, the average age of a first marriage for South Korean women hit 29.14, up from 24.8 in 1990.
Currently, there are more African-American adults under correctional control than were enslaved in 1850.
Profile of MediaTakeout, black culture’s TMZ, and the lawyer whose headlines get denounced onstage by Kanye. #longreads
Up-and-coming black tennis players credit the Williams sisters, particularly Venus, for showing them what’s possible.
TMN’s Sarah Hepola on the pleasures of being able to enjoy a public sauna in the nude.
Related: A challenge to complete five things before the end of summer, or before you die—whichever comes first. #tmn
I’d like a literal thinking cap. A regular baseball hat, but with the look of an orange or yellow construction hard hat.
Following up on the Swiss sex-boxes story, signs for public prostitution analyzed for graphic design.
Ballerina dances atop a grand piano with butcher knives attached to her slippers. #video
After 78 years, Monopoly’s iron token has been replaced by a cat.