Headlines from April 30, 2013

Obama says Guantanamo Bay needs to be closed, orders review of operations, plans to “renew discussions with lawmakers” who want it open.
Boy Scouts leadership recommends banning gay leaders, but not gay scouts.
At the Nakizumo crying-baby festival in Tokyo, parents hand their babies over to sumo wrestlers. #photography
For those suddenly interested in Martin Luther King’s assassination after watching Mad Men, an account of what happened afterward in New York City. #tmn
Neighborhoods of 25 cities mapped as if they were New York. #tmn
In D.C. neighborhoods, when the city plants trees, soon come drug dealers and gentrifiers.
Baby boomers enter their golden years with an epidemic of drug and alcohol abuse and mental illness.
Stories of Techno Viking, Scumbag Steve, and other unwilling internet celebrities.
This might be the sole instance of the use of the mock-heroic tone in a video game player’s guide. In case you missed it, Martin Amis wrote a book about video games.
PEN/Faulkner award goes to small-press story collection about people living between Juarez and El Paso.
List of fast-food items that can’t be found in America—e.g., the Dry Pork and Seaweed donut.
Photographs of plane wrecks in remote, exotic locations.
Astronaut Chris Hadfield addresses the question of how to vomit in space. #video
I came up with the phrase “heart of glass” without knowing anything about Werner Herzog. Debbie Harry and Chris Stein explain how they wrote a hit song.
Government blames deadly explosion in Damascus on rebels; rebels blame a government seeking sympathy.
Syrian hackers have two purposes: to punish Western media for criticizing the new regime and to provide an “alternative narrative.”
Best jokes corralled from Saturday’s White House correspondents dinner, hosted by Conan O’Brien.
See also: Daniel Day-Lewis to star as the president in Spielberg’s upcoming Obama. #video
Supreme Court decides that states may, if they choose, limit their Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) privileges.
Sandra Day O’Connor admits Bush v. Gore was a big mistake that “gave the court a less than perfect reputation.”
ESPN apologizes for writer saying NBA player being gay is “an open rebellion to God.”
Local leaders in northern Ghana announce the abolition of the ritual killing of babies born with physical disabilities.
Nearly 200 civilians killed by Nigerian soldiers—but the massacre is likely to be brushed aside as an “unfortunate side effect of fighting a dangerous insurgency.”
Roughly half of Oslo is heated by burning garbage, but the city has run out of garbage to burn.
Watercolor illustrations of insects found near nuclear plants and fallout sites.
More often than not, drivers who kill pedestrians face no serious consequences.
Complications from a prostate operation assisted by a robot hastened a man’s death from heart disease.
Actions speak louder after four pints. Sixty things learned after turning 60.
See also: How to stay in shape while traveling.
The evolution of peoples’ interests, as represented by their Facebook statuses.