Headlines from January 20, 2009
- Barack Hussein Obama becomes the 44th President of the United States of America.
- Text of President Obama's inaugural speech.
- Two million visitors fill the National Mall; how much longer before Warren shows his tattoo?
- The new (virtual) White House has a blog.
- Adam Levine's aunt texts that her rock-star son, Jesse Jackson, and Mariah Carey weren't let in to the inauguration.
- How Obama is like the pilot of a plane whose engine has unexpectedly exploded.
- Profile of TMN favorite Emmett Beliveau, Obama's man behind Inauguration tactical strategy.
- Secret Service agents are the new hottie heroes of lesbian romance novels.
- With Obama's aura turning geeky chic, researchers would like to see more young women become scientists.
- Account of how "The Game" went wrong, an elite Microsoft scavenger hunt that almost ended in death.
- We all want to die in our sleep. The truth is, most of us will die in pieces.
- The Onion pounds its final nail: Bush dies peacefully in his sleep.
- Eight years later, a round-up for TMN's recent political humor.
- TMN's Anthony Doerr in the Boston Globe on recent titles about evolution.
- Oakland protests "police terror" and oppression; Oakland told to protest black-on-black violence (see riot photos).
- Print for the commute: Outlining the path to a working health-care system.
- Have you set on the path of a New Year's resolution and already lost your way? Tell us, we want to know.
- Simple proposal for buying shares in American stock.
- To mark the end of the Bush era, selections from eight years of presidential spoofery on TMN:
- Using a special chemical process, the library is able to keep this section of the World Trade Center burning and producing thick, acrid smoke forever. Paul Ford tours the Presidential Library.
- There are and there are not weapons of mass destruction; in 2003, Matthew Baldwin gave us a vision of Schrödinger's Iraq.
- "What I need is you in office for another four years or else Operation God-Emperor With Bionic Cardiopulmonary System will never get off the ground."
- In 2005, John Warner showed us life at home for White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan.
- In 2003, Matthew Baldwin peeled back the curtain on President Bush's government-mandated alternate reality.
- Following the destruction of New Orleans, Ignatius J. Reilly (aka Matt Evans) delivered a parvum opus to the president.
- Ashcroft: I'm on the board of a razor wire company and can vouch for their effectiveness. Joshua Allen took us behind the scenes of Bush's merging of border agencies.
- Kevin Guilfoile and John Warner chronicled the run-up to the 2004 election: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5.
- In 2006, Andrew Womack offered the president new nicknames for every Democrat in the House and Senate.
- America's Next Top Model Democracy: "We took a chance on you, Hugo... We expected more."
- Please find enclosed fifty cents. I am a lobbyist, this is a campaign contribution, and now I own you. Children's letters to George W. Bush.