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Evany Thomas is the author of The Secret Language of Sleep: A Couple’s Guide to the Thirty-Nine Positions. Her writing has appeared in McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, Swivel, and h2so4, and she is also a regular contributor to Television Without Pity. For regular updates about her car fires, toaster fires, rug fires, and more, visit the Extended Cake Mix.
A million-plus viewers will tune tonight to watch costumed young people dance with fake weapons and play bugle—and that’s just the fans already in the know. America, you live in a drum corps world, you just don’t know it yet.